Lois, you are in our thoughts and prayers. It's so sad to see what's ahead for all of us. Thank you for sharing the things we need to know. Like terry, I can't imagine this site without your honesty and encouraging posts.
Imohr, thank you so very much for sharing these things. I'm so sorry. Glad, though, that your family is nearby and that hospice is helping you all through this. It was startling to read how fast this has come about. I have always appreciated your comments so much and send hugs now as you all prepare for the next days.
Lois, I have not been on this site long but have read much of what you have said to others asking questions and just needing some information or reasurence and from what I have seen on here I would just say that the gracefulness with which you have arrived at this part of your’s and Paul’s journey is an inspiration to everybody that had had the opportunity to talk with you on this website. I hope Paul a peaceful passing and you all the best as you step into the rest of your life here on this earth until you are again with your beloved Paul.
Lois- you are nearing the end of your caregiving role, and I must congratulate you on having achieved your medal of honor for "extreme devotion and caregiving beyond the call of duty. The end stages of AD are perhaps the most difficult, because you have a "pink slip" that you will be possibly losing your job and your loved one. No one likes to think about the final stage, but it seems that you are still being the great caregiver that you are. You are facing a new challenge, perhaps the most painful. I am keeping you in my prayers, and know that you will have the strength and perseverence to survive this terrible hardship, and can only offer you my love, support, and prayers. I admire your frank (phranque?) expressions of caregiving with hospice, and pray that you will find only peace and comfort that your effots were well worth it, and made such a difference to lots of other caregivers, and certainly to your loved ones. I am holding your cyber hand, and have tied the rope around my waist so that it can better anchor that long long rope with knots.
Lois, My heart is breaking for you and your family, I am so happy you can be with Paul at this time, my greatest regreat is not being there for Bob, may his passing be peaseful, god bless you. Gail
Lois, you truly are an example to me and I have much respect and admiration for you. Your wisdom and courage are truly and inspiration for me and many others here. Good wishes and much love to you.
Thank you all for your kind and loving words. They are greatly appreciated. I am copying all to my daughters who also enjoy reading them. Daughters and SIL are with me and we are administering drugs as prescribed for comfort. Last night daughter called the Hospice Nurse because there was some agitation and she increased his dosage. Yet, last night was his most peaceful night in 3.
We are doing ok. I have long ago mourned this time and have been helping daughters during these final hours. He is still pink nailed, hands warm, feet not mottled. The grandchildren either called or in person talked to their Papaw today as did son Greg. Greg is due in tonight at midnight. Much emotion by grandchildren who called but the 2 youngest were here, ages 16 and 13. They were marvelous and held his hand and told him about their ballgames and etc. I think being here in person was easier than talking by phone.
It is absolutely unreal how fast this week has unfolded. Many of you have said you did not realize he was so bad. He was bad in different ways from most of your spouses. He has always known us and friends and current events (limited). He was continent until Tuesday evening of this week and this is Saturday. He is now semi-comotose, catheter, oxygen - the whole ball of wax. We are so thankful we got Hospice started before this decline started and we did not have to take him to ER. Tuesday I requested Hospice to start working on placement. This spring he was rated in severe by neuro in WVU - early severe. She said he could still do some of the things but she just shook her head. Hospice people are not here unless we call and request them but they keep urging us to call them at any time of the night or day with any questions or concerns. You all take care. Love, Lois
Thank you for the news, Lois. Wonderful that all the grandchildren have been able to check in. So good that you have so much family support. Love and warm thoughts to you all.
Lois, I have not been on site, I am so sorry you are now at this stage of the journey. I had no idea your husband was end stage, your posts are all so calming and non complaining. Thank you for being you. My prayers are with you. I always enjoy seeing your sweet smiling face when I see a post you make.
Lois, although we've talked and shared all of this over the telephone, just know that I am thinking of you and walking beside you. As we have shared, Foster and Paul shared these same stages - day by day..and now hour by hour. Same down to the increased temperature, the decrease in organ function, and then it's the very slow final exit. We were so blessed however that Foster didn't exhibit any pain or fear. Just a deep sleep until the end. From a Saturday night cheering on his Clemson Tigers..to coma on Wednesday night. Who would have EVER believed the difference in a week. He sat in the shower and enjoyed a nice bath and shampoo on Wednesday morning and slipped into his deep sleep that night. He died the following Tuesday morning at 6:22 AM. Six days. - and on the seventh, he rested.
Imohr, my dh and I are so sorry to hear what is going on. We will pray for your peace of mind as well as a fast, peaceful passing for your husband.
Please know that all of the information that you have supplied will only help the rest of us understand what we are looking at. Don't feel bad for that. God Bless and keep you and the family in his warm and gentle hands.....
lmohn, Tears came to my eyes as I read your recent posts. I'm nowhere near the stage you are, but reading your comments helped me to understand what I'm going through and will be going through. What you describe in your first post here reminds me exactly of what I saw with my father two years ago, even though he had the mind of a young man when he died. Perhaps that's why I cried. I feel for you right now. Thank you for the information you've given us. It has helped so much. You really are an inspiration and I pray that I will be able to have my husband at home with me at the end.
Nothing about this journey is easy, the end sounds like the toughest days. May you be granted peace and faith as the journey ends and may you be given strengh to hold up. You are in our thouhts and prayers.
I have only been a lurker here, but always read your wise and thoughtful posts, Lois. These words come to mind at this time. "Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come." ---Rabindranath Tacore
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Imohr--I send you many hugs. I admire so much your down-to-earth frankness. You are a realist, and I admire that. Just know that we thank you for all that you have done for us through your descriptions of what is happening, and through your advice given when we needed it.
Thank you all so much for your words of comfort. It means so much. We are now at day 4 of no fluids or food. Urine output in bag is med. brown, lighter than earlier. Temp. 100.8 last evening so I inserted a Tylenol suppository. Temp. same this morning but he is resting comfortably and we are going to wait for the Nurse this afternoon. Moving him seems painful and we think maybe we should not move things more than necessary. Bath aide will be here shortly.
We are all so VERY thankful he is still here at the house because we are more comfortable.
Nurse was here and just left. She added another med and said to call her when questions.
Lois, your strength and courage are inspirational to all of us. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this final chapter. I'm so glad you have family to be with you.
Imohr, thanks for the updates. It helps to understand this so much more. Like others have said, you are definitely an inspiration to all of us. Please try to rest your body and soul while careing for your dh. You and yours are in our prayers and thoughts.
Uneventful night. Finally went back to sleep until son's cell phone woke me with Hallulah chorus or something. He has left it lay somewhere. I am going to rest until 9 when I will give him his meds.
Imohr - I'm still fairly new to these boards and so I haven't gone through your journey with you, but please accept my warm thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. I so appreciate all the sharing you have done. Since this is something we all have to face, your words have been so helpful.
I pray for a peaceful passing for your DH and loving support for you from your family. Know that you are not alone. Everyone here is with you.
Lois you and yours are still in my thoughts and prayers, may peace come to all of you, take care of yourself, I know that is heard to do at this time but let the family do for you as much as you need , lean on them, yes I also know you are trying to be strong for them but you are there for each other, don`t take all the caregiving on yourself, (((((((((hugs))))))))))))) Gail, o and I will be hear when this is all over and you can e-mail me anytime, we can cry together at the loss of our loves.
Tues. evening here. Not much change today. Still low temp. and we did a Advil suppository a while ago - the second one today. The Nurse suggested we just use the morphine and the patch to dry up secretions. The patch is the same one used for motion sickness and works very well. I know I used it a couple times while traveling and it dried me up so much I stopped using it. Kids are still staying in shifts. Son went back home after talking to the nurse. She said he could get half way home and be called or it may be Friday.
We are so thankful he is seemingly painfree. The aide is coming daily now for bathing and the Nurse is also coming daily now. We are just in a holding pattern. The only thing we have to do for him is administer meds every 3 hours by dropper and empty the catheter bag twice a day. Also, reposition every 2 hours. When your time comes, if possible I recommend doing the final days at home with hospice because it is soooo much easier on everyone. Lois
Lois, you amaze me. You should be so proud of yourself. We here are all proud of you and very proud to call you a friend. Stay strong, my friend, get rest when you can. We are here for you. Arms around and around, Susan
Prayers continue for you and your family; I can see what a blessing a caring family is. Your information is good for those of us who aren't "there" yet. Altho' we live in a small farming community, the hospital does have a home health care and hospice dept that I think I'll visit soon just to get to know them and to get info about how they operate. I don't think I'll need it soon, but I guess one never knows.
Lois, I can't believe you are taking this so calmly. You must be a very calm able to handle anything person or you are a wonderful actress! Whatever it is I wish you and yours well and send hugs and prayers.
Dear Lois: Just reading this thread, so sorry to hear of the pain you are going through...I admire your Courage...GodBless You and your Family. Hugs Rosalie
Lois, your words are bringing make memories of those last weeks here at home. You are so right...it is so much easier at home...it just seems normal somehow. Please know that I am holding you close in my heart.....
Lois- I am sharing your vigil and you remain in my thoughts and prayers. I am calling and checking to insure that the pearly gates are open, and that the white carpet has been rolled out. The angels all have their trumpets, and I can almost see the white light. My prayers for you are to experience a calm and peaceful passing for Paul, and assurances for you that he will be in a much better place.
Things about the same here. I slept well last night. Becky and Jeff tended Paul's meds. He is pretty clammy. I am doing the 9 a.m. meds. Jeff is now leaving to make sure the kids get ready and he will take them to school and bring us back iced coffee from Mc. Becky and I did pre-prep for 2 sausage quiche last night and I will put it together in a little while for breakfast. I am doing the 9 a.m. meds. Bath aide and Hospice Nurse will be out today. Becky M. our part-time and self-described 3rd daughter will be stopping in this morning to just hang out and keep us all in stitches. She has a great sense of humor and very down to earth. She helped with my Mom during her final days. I sent her a note last night that we were having quiche at 9 or so. She is just 39 and a treasure. Debbie and Mendy are cousins and in-house Nurses visiting and on call for advice.
We are all doing ok. Lovely comments here and on Joan's site. I am no different than any of you with handling this EXCEPT I do not have the added stress many of you have with step-children or other crazy relatives. I have 2 daughters - 1 next door and 1 a mile away with awesome spouses and we are all dealing together in harmony. Greg is over 2 hours away and he and wife are also in our circle. The wonderful support of this group is amazing and you are all sharing with the benefits. Thank you Joan. Bev and Becky are spending hours on their laptops working on their Dad's bio and after plans. We are keeping friends and extended family updated daily by e-mail and phone. Overwhelming support with friends wanting to know what they can do to help - anything. Right now it is just the prayers and spoken and written thoughts for a pain-free and calm passing in his journey. We have plenty food. I have 4 e-mail lists and the kids have theirs. Paul was well known throughout this area and the 3 kids are all active in 3 different Churches. The Hospice Nurses are unbelievable, and Nancy, Mary, Fran and Anne and others have all expressed the same thoughts. Our plans are for his passing and final ceremonies to be upbeat and joyous - the way he would have wanted it. Everyone who has met him and known him know about his love of jokes, whether one liners or a long one and his love of family and gardening - oops can't forget his chocolate candy and chewing gum. Friends occasionally dropping in are greeted with smiles and few tears.
ol don and pranque and others, I so enjoy the humor and we all need that. Paul would have loved it. Love to all of you. You have helped keep me sane and focused.
Imohr, its early here in Texas. The sun is finally going to show itself after lots of grey drippy days. I'm thinking about you and your precious family and thank you again for sharing. Your community sounds a lot like ours. Such a good support system for all of you right now. Sending a hug to you this morning as well..
Lois, you are an inspiration to all of us. Thank you for sharing your journey. You are indeed fortunate to have such a wonderful support system, I am positive that they are a reflection of their parents. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Imohr, you are remarkable. Just reading the things that are happening in your life makes me cry. It is making all of this sooo much more real. To real. We are keeping you in our prayers and thoughts minute by minute. Thanks again for the updates..... we all care. this has made us one big family with relatives more precious than blood. Love in Christ......
Lois, as I go about my day, I can't help my mind keeps coming back to you and your loved ones and wondering, "what are they doing now, how are they holding up?" Thank you for continuing to update and know that you must have a very powerful energy force around you with so many of us here thinking, wishing and praying for a peaceful transition. Big hug.
Lois, what a blessing your wonderful children and their spouses must be to you at this time. Keep posting whenever you can - your words are inspirational.