I've had someone come in for 1-1/2 years every Monday and Tueday. This week I will start to drop my husband off for daycare on Thursdays and Fridays from 11-4:00. I'm looking forward to having some time. He will think I'm having him killed but I'm also trying to prepare him for placement after the first of the year.
We went to a daycare facility for a "look see" today. Nice people, but way beyond where G is now...he was patient and saw that, and we left after an hour. I'm surpised that he has no problem checking these places out and is willing to stay for how ever long I say. He isn't at that point now, but I did notice he joined in on some of the singing ..most unusual for him. Chalk it off to a day entertainment.
My husband went with me about 1-1/2 years ago to look at assisted living facilities "just in case". He really liked the one I'm using at that time. Now . . . . another story. I want him to get used to it so when he transitions full time it won't be so difficult. He just turned 66 and I know he is the youngest one there.
Good Luck Diane, I hope everything goes well today. My husband is also the youngest at 58 years old, however, he didn't seem to notice. There was no problem on Tuesday...hoping for good results again tomorrow.
Dropping him off at daycare later this morning won't be too soon for me. I spent the morning cleaning him up and washing the bathroom down with bleach. He had 'crap' all over. How do they do that!
I picked DH up right on time. As soon as I walked in the door for the residents, I found him sitting in a chair waiting for me. He is going back again tomorrow. I did enjoy my time off. It went by so quickly.
Diane, I'm just beginning to realize that I need to plan for my time off starting next Tuesday. I plan on enjoying it. And I know it will go by quickly.
Good for you Starling. We all need to make time for ourselves. Today my DH is at daycare again. I will be able to have my grandkids (4 & 2) over and we will bake cookies. DH can't deal with all the noise.
Day Care started today. I told him I had an appointment, but nothing else. He went into the room with the others with no problem while I did paperwork. I asked the nurse/director if I should say goodbye, and she thought that would be the loving thing to do. (Yes, she talks like that, and she is a dear.) So I did. He didn't want to stay, but he agreed to. I told him he would have lunch there, and then I'd come get him in a few hours.
I went to AC Moore and picked up some floss and a cross stitch magazine. I ate at a Chinese Buffet. My husband can't do buffets anymore. And we rarely get Chinese food. Unfortunately I put my left leg down wrong and hurt my knee. I've got chronic knee problems but this was enough to keep me from wanting to run around much today.
I was told he was having a grand old time during lunch, laughing with his table mates. I told him he was coming back tomorrow. Carol, the nurse/director told him that this was a day group. I would always come and get him to take him home at night. He asked why we were doing this and I told him that the caseworker who came to visit us had said that this was what HE needed. On the way home he asked what I had done when I was on my own. A couple of times actually.
I'm going to take tomorrow pretty much the same way. I'm going to take it for granted, in public anyway, that we are going to be doing this twice a week. And next Tuesday, I'm going to tell him that we are going to visit his buddies and I'm going to have lunch with my buddies.
Starling, I am overjoyed for you that it went so well and you may finally have some time to yourself to do whatever you want/need to. That's great news.
Great news Starling! This was my husband's 4th time staying all day. He can not really converse any longer, however, they had a group who sang Christmas songs today, the aides told me he was real helpful holding the doors for everyone. He does still have great manners. Hopefully, your husband will do well the next time also.
Starling - I am so glad for you and I thank all of the rest of you for sharing your experiences. Last week on our first day, I felt almost a little bit guilty. Like this was my job and I was neglecting my wife. Not too bad tho. However, at first, I didn't really know what to do with myself. Not used to the freedom.
It went well for DW tho, and she seemed to enjoy it when I picked her up. Told all of them good bye, etc. However, about half way home, she started crying and said she didn't know why. Made for a pretty miserable ride home and a long evening.
We go again tomorrow, but, she hasn't understood where we are going yet. I am just going to let it be until tomorow.
Dean, maybe she was just tired and overwhelmed with it all. When you are healthy and not use to something new, it is exhausting. Just think of how it is when you are sick. It sounds like she enjoyed herself, so keep that thought in mind next time you take her.
I hope she works through it in time Dean. My husband cries on the way to assisted living. It breaks my heart. He is 66 and most people in the ALF are in their 70's and 80's.
Thanks. Your encouragement is always apprreciated.
This just has to work. I can't take care of her for very long at a time anymore. She felt bad and I took care of her Fri., Sat., Sun., and Monday. We had some interesting (at least to me) incidences. I will post some of them later, but, for now we are on our way.
I'm reading every word. We are discussing everything from day care to placement right now. Trying to make some determinations about WHERE and what to do. Starling, this sounds so great for you and glad it seems to be going well. What a relief to be able to have a few FREE hours. I know how good that feels.. Not sure what is best for us..but I've thought of trying daycare as well. We live too far away from the nearest daycare to go more than once or twice a week..
The Home Instead experience was amazingly good at first. Unfortunately, ended with careperson taking another job assuring me that 'someone else' would be showing up in her place..(NOT). It seems as long as the agency has someone (anyone) to send..they've done their job. DH was confused and upset that the person quit..he liked her and for a few days he worried about why or what happened that caused her to quit. Wish I could say better things about the agency. Maybe our situation was just a fluke. Nevertheless, it probably served the purpose of motivating me to be more active in exploring real options and trying to get some real decisions made.
I had a similar 'home experience' recently. I was paying them $16.00 per hour and all they wanted to do was watch television. I didn't put up with that very long.
Today, however, while my DW was at day care, I stopped by a nursing home here where my long time friend is in the Altz. unit. I, all of a sudden, had a real problem thinking that my DW might have to be a patient there someday. It really bothered me.
On Fri at 11:00 I have an appointment wih the counselor in our neuro psyches office. I am going to ask her how long we can go on like this. Even tho I might not want to know.
I had the same thing happen early on and then I found a woman that my mom used to work with in a group home for mentally disabled adults that I paid to come in. I fired the company because they changed people on me and didn't tell me and the woman sat and watched tv all day. My help has been tremendous. I am placing my dh in assisted living January 9th and I know she is looking for another job. If any of you are in the Seattle/Tacoma area and are interested in someone coming into your home to take care of your loved one, send me an e-mail. I would highly recommend her. I pay her $15.00/hour and it is worth it.