I am starting to believe my DH is paranoid. First it was the 2 women wanting to change the parking, then another woman who is only here with her husband a few weeks each year, they live in Georgia. Today it was the young man who lives next door. He came over with a Christmas card (DH was in bed) there was in invitation with the card for next Friday at his place 7.00pm to 9.00pm. DH read the card first and said "he wouldn't send me a card he's p....d at me". Of course when I asked him why he said it was a few weeks ago but he couldn't say what he had done to p..s the young guy off!!!! Does your LO come up with these things? It is really getting on my nerves.
Well, it's paranoidal for me! It seems to me that I've become trigger-happy. So much has happened that I find myself often looking over my shoulder. Although, someone once said that it was healthy to have a little paranoia. As for your husband, I'm sure it would not be unusual for dementia to include paranoia. Their other judgments are off. I'm reminded of many times when my husband was unable to reason and made very poor decisions. That stage seems to have passed, and he is in a mellow, sweet stage now. Well, most of the time!
Absolutely, positively, without a doubt, paranoia is part of AD. There are many here who have stories about paranoia. My husband is only into a little at this point. He always thinks I'm talking about him, but it hasn't gone too much past that yet.
When my DH went through the paranoia stage he was very much aware of it. Twice he had me look the word paranoia up for him in the dictionary. Then he marked the page so he could find it again. Now he is through that stage. He mostly sleeps now or gazes out the window.
My dh - like others here -- is always thinking that "they" have been in the house and taken his things. For instance if I've thrown his socks or his shirt into the dirty clothes, he's convinced it's been stolen. Lately he's had trouble keeping track of his bike key and the gate opener -- they've been stolen. He can't find the money in his wallet: they've taken it from his bedside drawer in the night. I remember that my Grandfather who had "hardening of the arteries" way back when, took to putting locks on the outbuildings on his Ohio farm because everything was being stolen. In those days that was shocking -- nobody locked outbuildings.
DH's paranoia isn't about abstract people it is about people that live right around us and I am afraid he may say something to one of them and really make them mad at him.
Jean, in all likelihood he very well may say something to make people mad. My DH forgot for a while that it was my son living here and not some stranger or a "boyfriend". He got pretty nasty with my son a few times and there were other awkward times with other friends and family, but thankfully most of them understood that it was personality changes associated with the AD and things were soon okay. I think that may be a good reason to let people know about the AD and the possible changes. Those that are important in your life will understand. The rest, we just don't have the time or energy to worry about.
There are not more than 2 people here where we live that know DH has AD. Most of the people at church know. I am going to talk to the young man next door and tell him what is going on. I am NOT going to tell he DH said he was p....d at him. I guess I am going to have to tell more people and just ask them not to let DH know that they know!
Jean this particular reason is why so many of us had become isolated early in the disease. we couldnt trust them as to what would come out of their mouths around family and friends or a stranger. its disheartening to say the least but yes do alert everyone so they arent taken by surprise. you may want to speak to his dr as well and let him know hes delusional. it may be time for something else as far as med changes. sorry. it is part of it. divvi
Divvi, DH's neuro put him on Sertraline (Zoloft) a couple of months ago because I had told him about the parking rants. I asked him if the dosage could be raised and he said it could but not without contacting him first. My problem with that is DH will want to know why he is taking more. He has no idea what it is for because the neuro said it might help with his cognitive problem. I have never been the devious type and this goes against the grain.
When my hb misplaces things "someone" always has taken them. Usually grandchildren. Misplaced his wallet and found it under his bed, but he said this was the 2nd time. One time he saw it under the bed and a Purdue student was kneeling beside him and yanked it out of his hand. Purdue U. is 45' away, and the only Purdue student who's been around here is our granddaughter.
Today I found my purse in a tote (no top) in his closet where he keeps jeans, sweats, etc. I'd been looking all over and finally a shiny clasp caught my eye--my purse. I would never have put it there, and if it had been totally covered, I'd have been certain "someone stole it." lol I told him where I'd found the purse and said, "It was probably on the bed, and you just put it there to get it out of your way." "No, I didn't do it, but I have an idea who did." I could tell he didn't mean me, but I didn't ask because I didn't want to hear another "story." Stress, your name is Dementia or Dementia, your name is Stress.
jean unfortunately as we have said before here using white lies to help our spouses becomes par for the course as the disease progresses. its by no means devious in a bad way- but its for their own good that we tend to need to cover up some of the issues that may tend to disrupt or cause them to become anxious or aggressive. speak to his dr and see if he offers any suggestions. you know so many of us have had to crush meds and or add them to applesauce to get them to take them. remember they can be unreasonable and not for good cause. the buttons are in peril of breaking as AD ravages the brain. we try to remember sometimes we do what we have to ensure their wellbeing emotionally as well as physically. most of us here have resorted to fiblets. its not what we want but we become inventive to deal with hard core issues. the parking lot was one long ordeal now something else may take its place. its the nature of the beast :( divvi
Starling, My problem is going to be seeing the people here without DH knowing. We are on the third floor and really the only time I see anyone is if we happen to be coming and going at the same time. Hopefully I will see them before Friday night.
Oh, paranoia! I an sick to death of the paranoia! It HAS to be exhausting trying to keep track of all those people doing all that stuff for no apparent reason. Seriously, it must be tiring. It tires me out thinking about all the convoluted thoughts. My dh gets hypervigilant at times and that is when the paranoia kicks in. Or maybe its the other way around. Hmm...
My husband went thru a stage when he insisted our daughter borrowed things especially his tools and broke them.If a power tool wouldn't start,it was her fault.I remember when his Mother was in the nursing home she would tell us about the young men who came from NYC at night and partied in the hallways.They were always dressed in green shorts,so she would tell us.And someone was always taking her stuff,we just went along with her and agreed to what she told us.
We are in Michigan due to the death of my father-in-law. My mother-in-law had Alz and died 3 1/2 years ago. Paranoia was her biggest problem. We have heard quite a few interesting stories about her this week from neighbors who have come to the funeral home, things we had never heard before and from an outside perspective.
My dad had vascular dementia. He and mom lived across the street from a small strip mall with a grocery store, a Walgreen's and a few other small stores. Several times he got out of the house in the evening and went to one of the stores. He told the clerks that his wife was going to kill him and wanted them to call the police. I'm so glad that my husband isn't there yet.
Dh has lost the gloves he likes to wear on his bike. I found him another pair but those are "not his." I think he may have left them at day care yesterday, but I don't want to call them because I've been asked to only call before or after the guests arrive each day. This morning he couldn't find his bicycle key -- then, all of sudden he had it, couldn't tell me where he had found it. Then he couldn't find his camera, but finally did, under some underwear in his drawer. Now of course he is saying that "they" have been in the house stealing things. Even though two of the three things have been found. But since he's on Risperdal, these "thefts" do not upset him nearly as much as before.