My husband is 81 years old and I am 54. He has just been diagnosed with alzheimers. He's in the delusional stage and has hallucinations. His social security was going into a joint savings. I was using money from work to pay the bills. I have now had to quit my job to care for him. Will I get into trouble for using that money from social security to pay our bills.
The money he gets from Social Security is for his living expenses--rent or mortgage, food, utilities, clothing, etc. From what you said, you've been paying these yourself and leaving his Social Sec. in the account. Go ahead and use it for the living expenses. You also need to see an Elder Law Attorney to help you get all your accounts in order, since your DH can't handle these things anymore. The Elder Law attorney can also guide you regarding Durable Power of Attorney, Medical Power of Attorney, Advance Directives, etc You'll also want to contact Social Security about becoming Designated Payee for his checks. It may mean a very simple once a year accounting to them of where his money goes, but it will also cut down issues with other relatives, should they question where 'his money's gone" later. Other's will be along with more advice, too.
Thought so. You're new. Welcome. Joang will be along to give you the official welcome, but know you've come to a great place for support and advice, hugs and laughs, and everything in between. There is nowhere else quite like it for the support and understanding we share as we travel this hard road together.
The house is in my name. So is the car. We also have a joint checking account. His will leaves everything to me.I have power of attorney for health care. Everything house and car is paid for. I went to an elder care attorney, he charged me 200.00 for a meeting. He seemed more concerned about protecting the estate should I die. I have a will that leaves everything to my husband. And then the will states that if he dies it goes to my daughter. He didn't really help at all. I think he just wanted money. I thought I would need power of attorney for finances.
There are others on this site with much better knowledge than me. They will be along. It is my understanding though, that you do need a Durable Power of Attorney to handle financial matters. Also, if you were to die first, leaving everything to your husband , in his condition, could present problens. There are ways to deal with that. Are you sure the attorney you saw was a specialist in Elder Law issues and Medicaid? Does your husband have a will? Reason Iask, is that if you pass first and everything goes to him, then when he passes , everything goies where his will says. You can pass to him, to her, or to both but I don't think you can do what you said--to him and when he passes, on to her. If my understandng is correct you could leave everything into a trust for his cree and maintenance until he passes, and then anything remaining could go to her--but you have to set things up the right way for that. Do you know where everything would go if you predeceased him? His will leaves everything to you, period. I don;t know how that would be handled.
On another matter, have you been in touch with any resources for assistance with his care? You said you've had to quit working to care for him. There are Agencies to help you decide on ways to provide his care, and still maintain your career. We have several May/December couples here, and I'm sure they also will be along to give advice in some of the areas where that can make a difference in decisions you make.
Being the weekend, and a holiday one at that, please be patient. They will be along.
Welcome, porkhck. This is a great site to help with all your questions and to receive moral support. I agree with carosi, and there will be others along to add their welcome and advice. Also a good source is elderservices in your area.
Another caregiver & I were talking about this topic recently. I am the Payee Representative for my husband, his SSD check goes into our joint checking account. I was never told to have a separate account, she was told she had to have a separate account. My question is? Do you have a separate account? She was sent notice as to why she had so much money left over for savings, now is a nervous wreck about completing the yearly form.
I was told it needs to go into an account in your name for benefit of the disabled spouse. If the Disable Spouse can not manage the money and you want to be the representative I was told this is what I would have to do, if I wanted to be able to speak to the SS rep directly and make decisions on the behalf of my DW. I did set up 2 bank accounts and her pension check and SSD check go into that account and it is spent on the household. I have another account which investment funds go into. I use that account for everything else, trips and extras. I will have my paycheck go into that account once I go back to work.
I have several accounts and always have had, where different money goes. Usually there's no charge for "linked" accounts; I can see all of them at one time on one screen when I log into the bank. It helps a lot in separating stuff.
BTW - there's an article in the Times today saying that if you fall victim of a phishing account and give your bank account to a scammer, YOU WILL NOT LOSE YOUR MONEY. So online banking is safe. Once you get used to it you can't imagine going back to paper.
I was my husband's representative payee for all the years he was alive and receiving his Social Security Disability. It was deposited into our joint account and I used it to pay normal living expenses. When I had to fill out the report once a year there was never anything left because it surely didn't cover all our bills. So, I always had zero left at the end of the reporting period. I never once had a problem with it. It is not a big deal.
Sandi, That is exactly what I have been trying to tell my friend. I have direct deposit into our joint account, pay all the normal living expenses, it does not cover all either. I always have zero left. I think that is why they questioned her how she was spending the funds, she had too much left over. She is only paying things that are in her husbands name, isn't many. She doesn't have a house or car payment now. However, she said she needs a new car, but doesn't know if she should pay out of his account. I tried to explain, she needs a good car for his benefit. She also wanted to start him in Daycare, however, she didn't know if she could pay out of his funds.
Oh Lord, Kadee, that poor woman. Of course she can use that money for paying any and all bills...but I am sure it is hard to convince someone who believes something different.
I am my husband's representative payee and had to open an account in his name with me as the representative payee. His pension payments go into our joint account.
I use his SSDI to pay household bills such as the mortgage and all his prescriptions that insurance doesn't cover. His SSDI check doesn't cover all the bills either. There's a pretty good pamphlet you can get from SS that explains what you can use the money for and a car is one of them as he will be receiving the benefit from it. I believe they are more interested in you if you are using their SSDI for fancy vacations, and luxury items that really don't benefit your spouse.
porkhck...You and I are the same age as well as our spouses. I went through similar issues a while back. My husband has since been placed in a NH. I panicked at first. Did hire an elderlaw attorney which earned his weight in gold, I figure. My advice is to keep excellent records as to where the money is going...everything, no matter what account it comes from. You may be called on to account for it all. Jen
Welcome to my website. I am away for Thanksgiving week visiting relatives, so I have only been checking the boards occassionally. I just saw your message.
You have come to a place of comfort for spouses who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience". There are 4 sections for EOAD members - two of which focus on the young teens whose parents have EOAD (early onset AD). There is a great new section on informative videos, and another excellent resource - Early Onset Dementia - A Practical Guide.
Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.
I hope you will visit often and get the support and information you are looking for.
When I had to apply for DH's SSDI in March, 1988, duing the pocess I was told to have an account 9in his name for the checks to be Direct Deposited. As his Designated Payee I can speak to them regarding his account, and can administer his money on his behalf. I have his savings account linked to our checking account so as oon as his check goes in, most is automatically transferred to the checking. The rest I transfer as needed during the month. He is now on Social Security--they automatically switched him when he was old enough. My SSDI goes directly in to the checking acount. I have so much fun on the 3rd--for about 4 hours we are rich, until I pay all the bills. His check alone would barely cover the house payment, taxes and insurance. There has neve been anything left for savings. By having the separate account to recieve it, and tracking of all the expenses paid out, this can be clearly seen. As I said before, his SS income is for his care and benefit. Spending it for costs of daily living are exactly what it's for.
I was my dh`s representative payee, had to open his own account because he could only have 2,000 dollars in the bank, I had my own account, used his account to pay bills and mine for extras, sure was nothing left at the end of the month.
It is amazing how many different things that people were told to do regarding the depositing of the SS money......
They never asked me to open an account for him, never asked how much money we had, and never questioned anything I ever did with the money. Amazing....
Okay....I think that the difference is SSD and SS. If it is disability, and you applied for it for him, that is one thing. If it is the regular Social Security pension check and he was getting it prior to AD, that is another. As with Sandi, my husband's check has been direct deposited since he started collecting it prior to AD, and it has gone into our joint account all of these years, and it is used to pay the bills as it always has.
Others had problems when they wanted to change banks, and their spouses couldn't sign their names any more - and that is when SS asked for an accounting. If my memory serves, there is a discussion on this topic where everyone told what had happened with them. So, my advice is to keep your present bank account and transfer the money after it is deposited if you need to do so, then you won't have to fill in all of the forms and paperwork. Use the money for both of your expenses. There is nothing illegal about it.
He has a will that leaves everything to me. The social security is retirement social security. It goes into the joint savings. Is care while I work expensive? Because if it is I would just be paying to work.
So you will probably get his SS when he dies, am I right? unless yours is higher. Care while you work can be expensive but as they say, getting out of the house can be PRICELESS! You also have to look beyond right now; it's one thing for a young mother to take a few years off to raise kids, but it's something else for a 50s person to take a year or two off.
He was just approved for SSDI which we received 4 months of benefits. We finally received the notice Saturday but there was no paperwork in there about having to give and accounting, opening a separate account, etc. I am the one that applied for him and that has talked with them. I do need to make sure I am the Representative Payee. I planned to use the extra money to pay off RV insurance (vs monthly), dentist which neither of us have been to in years and new glasses. The balance I am still thinking on. There are repairs to the RV that are needed, car maintenance that unemployment never paid enough to cover.
I had to apply for SSDI for DH and was appointed Designated Payee by SS. I figured it was because of the nature of his disability. They can't decide which mentally impaired person cn handle their own money and which can't. Same thing happened when my Brother-in-law applied, and similar category of problem.
Since the money is for his care and maintenance, the minimal accounting they ask for is not a problem. They would question if a lot went into savings, because that would indicate that the LO didn't really need the money.
Charlotte, yes I was designated as his Representative Payee. I filled out a paper once a year....not a big deal. I zeroed it out every year since it in no way covered all our expenses. No one ever questioned anything. I am now collecting his regular Social Security since I turned 62 this year. My dealings with the SSA have been very positive from the time he was approved for his disability in 1998 to when he died in 2008 and when I applied for his SS this year.