For the first time since last Christmas I went to take the sterling silver flatware, inherited from my mother and engraved with her initials, out of its tarnish-shield bags. It's been in the same place for the forty years we've been in this house. The forks, salad forks, spoons, and serving pieces are missing. Only the knives remain. The other silver stuff: bowls, candy dishes, etc, is all there, I think.
I've tucked away my jewelry before having anyone coming in the house, sign off the computer before I leave, but never thought of the silver, frankly. My daughter and I have looked high and low in case I tucked it away in an AZ moment, but they are nowhere to be found. Occasionally I'd leave them out for a day or two while all got washed, and then put them away, but they always went in the same, easily accessible sideboard drawer.
This is the first time I've ever had anything missing from the house. Andrew is not the only one who has been in here, alone or just with L., in the last year; there were a few CNAs before him, since last Christmas. I don't know what to do.
Oh, Gosh! I'm so sorry! What a horrible feeling of insecurity. Or at least, feeling violated. I hope and pray for you that this is just a blip, and that you find they were borrowed, or "hidden", or simply put in the wrong place. Between last year and now was your spouse in a condition where he might have felt they needed to be stowed away for safe keeping? I hope and pray for a good resolution to this mystery, and that no ill will comes of it.
Why would anyone who is stealing leave the knives? Doesn't make much sense. Hopefully you will find them in some unexpected place. The other day I moved a small safe and found the money DH hid over a year ago tucked under it.
Bama, what you said just hit me. Is it possible briegull's spouse put some in a "safe place"? I've begun finding less used items in strange spots myself.
I took out my stering silver and used it tonight. Hadn't planned to but after Clare's went missing I realized it should be used, not stored. I hope her settings show up. Mine were a gift from my mom.
Breigull--I don't think this thread is OT at all. I may have posted this before, when my Aunt and Uncle were moving out of their house, they went to pack the good china and found that it was gone. The only person who could have taken it was their cleaning woman. My Aunt figured she took a piece at a time over some period--since it was rarely used, it wasn't noticed. That's why I packed away my china and crystal, locked up my Mom's sterling flatware. It's a shame to have to live that way, but...
The aides we've had so far seem very honest, but you never know when a substitution will have to be made at the last minute, it could be someone new at the agency, etc.
briegull, so sorry and I also hope you find it. Weird about still having the knives!!!! It just makes you feel so violated. That is the main reason I am hesitant about having strangers in the house. I just don't feel comfortable that they may be going through my things. I don't have anything valuable really. I wear my diamond ring and everything else is cheap stuff, gave the girls the rest of my gold jewelry, guns are gone. I just have sentimental "junk" just keepsakes. We used to own a Retail Store and although we never "caught" anyone stealing, they were stealing from other places so you know they were stealing from you. We did notice "one" item that disapeared.
Well, everyone's come, eaten food and left immense amounts behind. Had just enough stainless to cover everyone.
No, my husband wouldn't have hidden it. Probably didn't know where it was stored. Remember, his movements have been circumscribed for several years. He hasn't helped me dry silverware or anything in probably 10 years!
Andrew is supposed to come on Monday. I am going to scour the house before then and hope I hid them and have forgotten it. Then... I don't know what to do.
Oh Clare, I'm so sorry, it is so hard to trust in this world. What I think you should do is leave the knives and wait to see it they go missing and you will have your culprit, if it's someone still in your employ.
Only the knife handles are sterling...and if they are 'melting down' the silver, the knives have less than the other items. This is so sad, and the reason we want to use agency personnel who are checked out, and the agencies bonded. But, that is easier said than done....who knows that more than ME??? I'm so sorry.
Briegull: I am so sorry for your loss and I know how the shock feels when you discover it. At first it is disbelief and then utter disappointment. My wife & I grew up very poor and after we got married (after the TB problem, which you know about) I worked hard, got lucky and made some good money. It was my pleasure to shower her with clothes, cars, and especially diamonds. The clothes and cars are worn out and gone long ago and now the diamonds are gone. I don't know if she lost them or someone took them, but, if it makes me very, very sad if I allow myself to think about it. I have told our children because we had hoped to leave them to them after we are gone. They took it pretty well.
And we can't discuss with my wife. She doesn't even remember having them even tho she sure was proud of them when we got them and loved to wear them and show them off. It is a sad situation and there is nothing we can do about it.
I don't have any advice for you. I just wish I did. But, I know how you feel.
briegull--my thought was the same as Nancy's--that the knives are worth less than the other pieces. It seems pretty clear that since the knives weren't taken, that selling them for melting was the intent of the person who took them. Someone not familiar with sterling (young?) might even read "stainless" on the blade of the knife and think the whole thing is stainless. I agree with Susan, if you leave them in the same place and they start disappearing, your mystery will be solved.
So: he does come from an agency. I haven't checked into the bonding yet. They let me keep him after they had decided they didn't want him to go to any more clients bec. he fell asleep on one job (and on mine but I didn't tell them). Do I contact the insurance company? the police?
then comes the whole question of what if he comes and confronts me?
And THEN: now I need a new CNA - I had counted on getting Andrew to stay while I went on the cruise, for instance.
Clare, call the insurance company and report the loss. They were probably taken for their silver content, hence the knives were left. The insurance company will probably prompt you to file a police report so that they can search the pawn shops to see if the items were in fact pawned. You might want to do this in the presence of Andrew, that will be your tactful way of letting him know that you noticed the loss but that you are not accusing him of any wrong doing.
i would call the agency and tell what happened clare. they surely have had this happen before and will file a loss with their insurance company -and if they have employees bonded its their responsiblity to get your claim done. at least they will let you know what paperwork should follow. thats too bad, i do think after this your antenna should be up. if it were me, i'd be finding a new caregiver asap. divvi
I'm really sorry about this, Clare. I was one of those who thought you were right to keep Andrew after you learned about his problems. I hope there is another explanation, as unlikely as it seems. Good luck in finding out what happened and recovering your silver.
briegull-- I like Shellseeker50's advice best. It's been nearly a year since you had gotten the silver out. I don't believe Andrew has been with you that long, so things do not necessarily point at him. Call the report into the Insurance, perhaps in his presence, and follow the Insurance Co.'s instructions. Anyone in your house during the last year could be the culprit--repair people, caregivers, and I hate to say--relatives and friends.
Depending on your own feelings about the situation, and Andrew, you can then talk to him about the loss. It would be a shame to jump to conclusions.
How horrible Clare! I hope you did misplace them, but not sure why you would have not taken the knives as well. I also hope is wasn't Andrew. I would think it would be very difficult to continue working for someone once they have stolen. He is still with you, that means there is a very good chance it wasn't him. Best of luck!
When I decided to start hiring people to come in to help me, I changed the doorknobs on two rooms in the house, the computer room and the office. Now when I have to leave them at home alone with DH, I lock those rooms and I explained it was to keep my husband from misplacing important papers and such but we all know that it was to keep everybody honest and to keep me from mistakenly accusing someone of taking something when perhaps my H had moved something. It keeps us all happier. I don't have any valuable silverware or even jewelry for that matter but I don't want someone having access to my bank account #s, social security #s, and lots of other personal information that a dishonest person would know how to use for stealing.
When my son married in our home we found the borrowed sterling silver cake server missing. We looked high and low and finally figured one of my son's friends who was involved with drugs had taken it to sell. We confronted him and he was shocked we would ever think that of him. A few months later a call from Grandma Pearl and an appology for taking that server home by mistake. I learned my lesson - nothing is worth accusing someone of theft unless I am very sure first. I found my waffle iron on top of the garbage can once when Hank thought I didn't want it anymore - so perhaps your DH was involved?
The proof to me came when he DIDN'T do all the cleaning he could have. He did the laundry, but L. was late coming down, so he didn't get to the sweeping and vacuuming. If he'd been feeling guilty he'd have scooped up everything in his path!!
hmmm well in case anyone has the problem that I have LO hides her purse continually an then tells me someone took it,after months of looking everyday,(sometimes as much as 4-5 times a day) I found a cool little device called a luggage finder,it has a small reciever that I put in purse an then anytime you punch button on transmitter the purse emits a loud beeping noise,JP Pennys sells them for $9.99,now if I can just get her to leave reciever in purse
I once had a clapper on my keys, but that somehow went to clapper abyss years ago. Glad to hear about this transmitter. I'll need a couple dozen for items I misplace. Wonder if all the beeps would be the same tone; might keep me busy following the sounds. Will check into it. Thanks.
Ol Don, you are a treasure. We were about to leave to see a movie this afternoon and I stopped at the front door to make sure dh had his metro card. His wallet was empty except for his expired drivers license and one 10-Euro bill that he always carries. All of his cards had been "stolen." After searching for half an hour he mentioned that he had had them this morning. Since he had spent most of the morning puttering at his desk while I was at my computer, I concentrated on that area and finally found his cards neatly tucked into a spiral notebook designed for filing business cards. We missed the movie and had to go to a different one, that I wouldn't have chosen.
My elderly mother had the police in last year because several items of her best jewelry came up missing. She found them later, tucked deeply into drawers.
Yikes! It's too late; I need the "wallet finder." Today hb insists someone came into the bedroom last night and stole his wallet! I haven't convinced him they couldn't have; and if they did, our pup dog would have barked. Still not convinced. I'm certain it will turn up in an unlikely place. I asked about a "finding device" at Radio Shack, and he said they were popular years ago, but aren't now. What planet is he from? They're even more high tech now.
Zibby, try underwear drawer, inside pillow case, in a book, pockets of clothes hanging in the closet, under the mattress, Those were just a few of the places DH hid his wallet. It actually became a joke and a morning ritual for us. He would wake up and say someone stole his wallet, they I would tell him he put it away the night before so no one could find it and then we would start looking. It was always in the bedroom because he wanted to make sure it was close. One morning he didn't mention his wallet and I didn't think about it until I found it hidden in my underwear drawer. He never mentioned his wallet again.