This isn't a major problem, but I thought that some of you may have faced it. Lately, with the progression of the disease, our morning routine has been changing. Now that my husband needs help in finding the toilet/bathroom, I have to get up when he does. Usually, this is earlier than I would like to get up, but there's no alternative. Sometimes I can persuade him to go back to sleep, but then he wakes me up again and wants breakfast. I'm used to having a little time to wake up before I'm "on the job", but now that wakeup time is gone. I put out all the breakfast things the night before, switched from brewed to instant coffee, got him a bigger coffee mug so I don't have to keep refilling it.
Did anyone else run into this problem? I've thought about setting an alarm for myself so that I'll be fully awake by the time he wakes up, but the alarm would probably wake him too, and we'd start the whole routine earlier. I find that I'm not as patient with him as I'd like to be when I don't have time to wake up first.
We do have an aide that comes in most days, but I set her hours later so I can get out and do what I need to do. I've thought about changing the hours, but then she'd be done too early for me to get back home in time.
I'm not sure my suggestions will help any, but here is our schedule. First, I think DW would sleep all day if I let her, so I always get up before she does. After getting myself dressed I start waking her up and get her to the bathroom. While she is there I get out her Exelon patch and clothes for the day. She needs almost total help in getting dressed. I then start the coffee brewing - I set it up the night before so all I have to do is push the switch. By the time I get breakfast ready the coffee is done. On mornings when I have to set the alarm so we can get going on the days activities I find it does not have any effect on her. She sleeps right through it. Right now we have finished breakfast and, while I am at the computer, she is sitting at the dinning table looking at her coffee and dozing off. In a few minutes we will leave to take her to day care where she will get more stimulation than I can give her.
Marsh--thanks for the input. I guess what I'm missing is the "window" to get my act together before my husband wakes up. He used to sleep later than me most days, I think he would even get up, go to the bathroom by himself, and go back to sleep. I think now that he needs help in the bathroom, interacting with me wakes him up and he stays up.
I guess I should try the alarm--maybe he would sleep through it too. I thought my days of waking to alarm clocks were over when I retired from paid work!
I get up, have the coffee on a timer so it's ready for me. put the dog out, maybe shower and dress, take the dog for a long walk, hoping he poops. now I'm at the computer. DH I'll wake whenever, I might start around 11, but he probably won't get up til 12. give him breakfast, but he won't be hungry, so I'll make sure he has ensure with his pills. he'll doze off at the table, so I'll put him back to bed, where unless we have something to do, he'll sleep. I'm against this schedule, but he just can't keep his eyes open. yesterday I put on some old musicals and he actually stayed awake all day. Of course then he wants we to sit with him watching the movies. I can't get him stimulated any other way than watching these old musicals. the good news is he doesn't know he just saw one. I'd love to send him to day care, but we went to visit one place and he thought it was all old people. all righty then. I have tried getting him up earlier, but he just falls asleep, can't get our of bed. I'm just at my wits end about this. he's not interested in doing anything.
I know what you mean marilyn. I enjoy sleeping in and having some time to myself also. Right now that is still in place. He calls me to help him to the bathroom from 4 to 6. I settle him back in bed and go back to bed myself, not to sleep but to get on my laptop and maybe doze. Better than nothing. It is now 9 and I hear him stirring so I ask if he is ready to get up. Amazing, he can hear and understand me from the room across the hall. This is a man whose hearing was half gone. He says yes, and I continue with my whatever I am doing. We have nothing scheduled today so if he stays in bed for another hour that would be fine with me.
My big worry with him staying in bed all day, is he getting enough exercise. You don't want him bed-bound sooner than you have to. My dh dozes and sleeps most of the time but in his recliner and he gets up and around several times a day to bathroom and snoop. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about the sleep.
Marilyn, I had to give up that wake up time about a year ago. I miss it terribly. Here's how it goes now....
I get up when he sits up in bed. It takes him about two or three minutes to do so, because his arms are weak. That gives me time to run to the bathroom myself, and then come back and help him out of bed, and support him while he wobbles to the bathroom. After he urinates, I turn on the shower and help him in and get in and shampoo his hair, then wash him and rinse him; lean him against the shower wall while I shower myself; then get us out, dry him off, dry myself off, underarm deodorant on both, brush his teeth, slip my gown back on and then I dress him for the day. Then we go into the den and I sit him down, get the newspaper and hand him the sports section (which he hasn't been able to read in close to a year) and he pretends to read it. I pour our coffee (My Mr. Coffee has an auto-time to start); turn on the computer, then sit in my chair and drink my coffee and wake up while he dozes in his recliner. I get my "wake up" time then for about 15 minutes!
Then, I check my e-mails, read the paper, get dressed and come to work! TO REST!!!!! <Grin>
I have found that I have to make adjustments all the time....but I know how temporary this all is, so I bite my tongue and go with the flow....I'm not happy about it, but it is a small thing, really......
Since dh goes to bed so early, he's usually awake before I'm ready to get up. I find that it DOES sometimes help to keep him up later in the evening, but I can't always do that and it doesn't always help anyway. If he gets up anytime before 7 to go to the bathroom, I watch him come back into the bedroom and if he heads for his clothes instead of coming back to bed, I tell him it's the middle of the night and he needs to come back to bed. Often that works, not always. If I don't catch him on time, or if he doesn't listen, and he gets dressed (which he still does all by himself) there's no way to get him back to bed or in the shower. If he's all dressed and I'm still in bed he'll come and sit beside me on my side of the bed and say it's time for me to get up, but I put my arm around his waist and sometimes we'll both doze off. Sometimes he'll even lie down a little (with his shoes on). But basically it's pretty hopeless; I have to get up, get our breakfast round and the rest of the morning routine (pills, brush teeth, make bed). If it's really early (I must say this happens much less often since he's on Risperdal) I take him in the living room and turn on the TV. Then I can read or rest, usually just end up watching the morning news shows with him.
I've found that I can cope better if I go to bed around 11:15 rather than midnight which is my preference. Also, for us it has been working better lately to have a bath every other day at his bedtime, rather than in the morning. I take a shower in the morning anyway if I have to wash my hair.
I'm lucky; I wake up early, get the paper, and sit in his chair in his recliner and read it through, finally ask him or tell him about getting up. THen it's about an hour and a half of dealing with pooping and showering and dressing and feeding. This morning he got up at 7:30 without complaint and we made it out of the house at nine. Of course he goes to bed early - 7 pm at the latest. My daughter and I are often upstairs reading in our beds by 8:30. So I have two periods of relaxation, they're just at weird times.
My DW starts getting ready for retirement as the sunset is arriving. By 7:00 she is ready. I help her put on her PJ's, take her medicines (w/resperodal), brush teeth and go to potty. She goes to sleep almost as soon as she lays her head down. I go to bed also but work on my laptop, read, or play sodoku til about 10 on, Carol seems to feel daylight breaking and starts squirming and usually gets up, looks out the door, and usually goes to potty. I have to watch her to make sure she does not have trouble cleaning up a BM. Then lay out her clothes and now I have to help her get dressed or talk her into a bath. She really hates to bath and I cannot get her near the shower. That is why we take respiridol at night but it does not always help. Sometimes I give her a clonasapam if she really needs a bath that day. I try for no more than 3 day intervals. I lay out her clothes and help her get dressed, give her her pills and give her toothbrush. But this morning routine is degrading every few days. I have to take my lexpro before she gets up to help me with depression I have for another tough day. They keep getting harder and if I don't take my pill at a pee break I really have trouble getting started myself. Mornings are the worst. I have been recording things a night like DANCING WITH THE STARS and then play them after she gets dressed and has breakvast. Good Luck bill
well this is the times when thinking of a deadbolt for the door may come in handy - if they are up at odd hrs and milling about doing whatever you can STILL dose as they do whatever due to the fact they cant get out and get into trouble outside unsupervised. if they get bored enough they will eventually lie back down on the bed even if they are dressed. monkey see-monkey do type thing if you are still in bed and quiet and they think you are sleeping.. ha! othewise you are in a mess and might as well get up and get your mornings started off earlier..i know mary and i both grabbed many an extra shuteye due to having them inside the bedroom walls! if they are in another bedroom thats a differrent story. having them wandering while you sleep isnt a good idea. at any stage:) divvi
Perhaps because I'm dealing with EOAD, my husband doesn't seem to need as much sleep as you all have described above. The only reason he sleeps the whole night through is because of the Seroquel dose in the p.m. (I know this because if I forget, he's up in the middle of the night and thinks it's time to awaken).
Mary--your joke about going to work to rest sounds like it has some truth to it! Now that things are getting harder here, I've been giving that some thought. Maybe a part-time job wouldn't be a bad idea, from a lot of standpoints.
I posted somewhere else that before the NH I had put a commode in our bedroom with a baby gate in place half way up the door frame. It worked beautifully.
My DH's geriatric psychiatrist recently mentioned the drug "provigil" - to be considered in the future if/when my DH has trouble keeping awake. He claims that his AD patients who are on it are significantly more awake and alert.