Anyone run into this--my husband can recognize the toilet once he's guided to it, he just can't find it on his own. The pattern seems to be that the problem occurs in the a.m., if he wakes up earlier than I do. I've considered putting up pictures on the bathroom doors, but the way our master bath is laid out, the toilet is hidden behind a half wall--bad feature for a dementia patient! Also, there is a bidet when you first come in--in plain sight--very surprised that it hasn't been mistaken yet for a toilet!
The guest bathroom is down the hall, I guess I could try a picture there, it is a much smaller bathroom and less complicated to navigate than the other.
I'm trying to avoid getting up every time he does, but that may not be possible anymore.
Marilyn, this is very common and you will have to keep an eye on him because the "random acts of peeing" may start happening. My husband was known to go in a wastepaper basket, a floor air register or up against a wall. These are times that really try your patience. I don't think putting up a picture will be much help....they can look at something and not "see" it. But, it is worth a try.
Yup, in my heart I know that the only answer will be to show him where the toilets are. You are right that it is very trying, I just keep telling myself it's better than incontinence. But it will require constant monitoring, and I guess I'll need to match my sleep schedule to his.
Another stage of this terrible disease, yet this stage seems to be harder than most for us caregivers. Mary doesn't seem to recognize the toilet. Her main problem is that she won't sit down, so she either pulls her clothes back up or sometimes will half sit and pee on the floor (and her clothes). I have to be sure to jump out of bed as soon as hear her waking because I've had a cleaning job to face if I don't.
We had a funny incident this morning. She had gotten up from the toilet and wouldn't hold still for me to wipe her. So I just took care of things in the shower and got her dressed. When I took her back in to dry her hair, she was yelling and struggling away from me. I though that the drier was too hot until I noticed that she was staring at the toilet which hadn't been flushed. I flushed and said, "Bye, Bye" to the contents and she broke out laughing.
if you dont want to be cleaning up pee around the house, you will probably need to lead him to the john at all times. i know, but you are now a slave to incontinence issues but its happening slowly and surely. jumping out of bed when they move becomes habit, like when you used to hear a baby cry:) if you dont you will be in for more work cleaning up dribbles and urine smells you 'missed'.. unfortunately, this dang disease only gets worse not better - divvi
and ps, mine didnt have any random issues about using the bidet instead of the commode:) came a time i rather welcomed it! you get used to that too when you dont have to scrub carpets or furniture instead!
scs--I thought about the commode idea, BUT, he doesn't turn the lights on when he gets up (usually). So if it would be in an obvious place, he may run into it. If it's not in an obvious place...you know. I don't think there is any other alternative to me showing him where the toilet is.
Wait until they go outside, thinking THAT is the bathroom and pee on the ground.... or go into the dining room, thinking that is the bathroom and let it fly.... or on a boat and let it fly over the edge.....
As long as they can walk, and unzip or pull down their pants, you have to watch them and lead them. They aren't going to tell you when they have to go, they are going to get up and where ever they THINK the bathroom is, that is where they will go...
So as Divvi says, pretend that they are two (which mentally they are regressing towards) and lead them in a nice way to the place you wish them to go.
And keep a gallon of vinegar on hand....I'm no longer using two gallons a week. He's incontinent now, so the Depends gets most of it.
Divvi is the Clorox queen. I'm the Vinegar princess. <grin>
You gotta laugh at this, folks...don't try to fight it, just try to make the most of it.....it isn't the worse part of this disease...
Oh yeah, for a while the aroma was awful....but I used various and sundry anti-odor cleaners and finally it went away. He used to take all the register covers off...I was always afraid one of the cats was going to fall down one or that I would step in one and break an ankle. His favorite place to go was the waste can so I always made sure there was a liner in there...much easier to clean. I was just waiting for him to use the litter box, but he never did....LOL!
The best was the time he went into the ladies room at the public library, I saw him go in the wrong door and by the time I got to him he had whipped "it" out and was peeing in the trash bin. I was just grateful it was a quiet Sunday and no one else was in there.
There really is no answer or easy solution....you just deal with it.....
Mary--I have always had vinegar in the house for cleaning anyway...will remember this when/if the next mishap occurs. There is always someone watching him--me or the aide. He shadows me most of the time, I guess I could get into the habit of making sure he uses the bathroom before I do something like take a bath and he's out of my sight for 10 minutes. So far, the only errors have been when he has awakened in the a.m. and I'm already downstairs. I will have to pay attention and bolt up there in the future. Today, when he came down, I asked him if he had gone to the bathroom. His response was "finally". I knew that couldn't be a good outcome!
I am having the same problem with DH finding the bathroom. Sometimes he will go and again he has no idea where it is. I am so thankful that several years ago he started sitting down to pee. During the day he is continent but he has started sleeping all night long and I have the overnight depends with tape, a boast pad and a male guard. On top of that another depends and plastic pants and about once a week we still have wet pajamas. I am so glad that he finally is sleeping all night so I can get some sleep.
I've totally given up with the toilet. I used to be able to lead him to it and coax him to sit down. Doesn't work any more. If I get him undressed and guide him to the toilet he will lift up his leg and try to step into it. Oh, for the good ole days!
Diane did that when she was two! In brand new shoes! And her pretty new dress! And, being me, I grabbed the camera and took her picture before getting her out of the toliet and placing her in the tub and stripping her and throwing away those pretty shoes! <grin> I treasure that picture and the memories....
Bama, you are too funny. i am surprised your DH can MOVE with all that extra padding in his pants! hah. at least thats a good way to keep him from peeing on the floor! (grin) divvi
I put a baby gate halfway up my bedroom door. When I would hear DH rattle it I would wake up and turn on the bedside lamp so that he could see the commode. Most times I wouldn't have to get out of bed. A couple times I found him standing in the opposite corner of the room trying to find the door. Luckily we never had any accidents.
Funny how we all seem to be having the same problems....even with the nightlights on, my Dh has a hard time finding the bathroom...and its just a few steps from his bedside....during the day, he does not know where the bathroom is, I will have to bring him....he does spot the guest bathroom, since it is down the hall, I try to not let him use that one, it has a lock on the door...every time he goes to that one, he doesn't make it in time...and has a BM allover the place....a good test for my patience....The other day, he looked at the tolet..didn't quite know what it was, kept flusing....thank goodness that didn't last, a short time later, he used it ok...Good Luck to us all......Rosalie
I think I need new floor covering in the bathroom my DH uses most. The floor is white, toilet white, wastebasket WAS white but I changed that after he used that instead of the toilet! I think more contrast between the floor color and the toilet would help....at least for a while.
Patsy, watch out for any dark floor coverings. I've seen warnings that at some point they won't step on a dark rug. In fact, I've seen it suggested that you put dark rugs in front of all outside doors to keep them from trying to open the door when they reach late stages.
Trying something new my cousin suggested. I put a commode over the bidet--you see it immediately upon entering the bathroom. Did it last night, so far he hasn't been in that bathroom.
Isn't vinigar a wonderful product. I use it on the bathroom rirror, the countertop, all around the toilet and it also takes mold off around the tub. I should buy stock in the vinigar company. :)
I have noticed lately, my dh exiting the bathroom with its white vinyl floor to the carpeted hall runner, obviously avoiding stepping on the 10" of hardwood floor between. Much like we did as children with not walking on the "cracks in the sidewalk, etc"
This is still a problem for Lynn, even in the nursing home. He kept peeing in the trash can and this bothered the staff. They were telling me he will just pee anywhere! I had to laugh and tell them, I KNOW!!!! I DID warn them if they took the trash can away they would find it all over. Guess they didn't believe me LOL. Well they found out the hard way! He peed in drawers, out the window, in his room mates bed even! He has a commode right by his bed, but it isn't helping.
I tried to tell them to put a better sign on the bathroom. He is color blind and can't see green, well the sign is green. It should be white with bold black letters. But they wont listen to me. Oh well, its them cleaning the pee up now, guess they will learn in time, just like we all do. Best of luck!
Nikki, I have never understood the advice of removing the trash can from the bathroom if they start urinating in it. If one can't find the toilet, I think the trash can is a pretty good second choice. It's easy to disinfect compared with other alternatives.
I can't understand their reasoning either. I had them all over the place, it was much more sanitary than peeing on the floor, my clothes, in the frig,...etc etc oy! just thinking about all the pee I cleaned up I have to wonder HOW I ever managed.
Last weekend we were at my dd's home. In the middle of the night, I heard my DH say, I hope I can find the bathroom. awake immediately, I told him where it was. Well, he walked into my grandson's room, before I got out of bed. happily no incident, but I brought him to the bathroom, and waited outside. Hope this doesn't happen too often, it was about 3 am. ON the other hand, I hope when he can't find it, he says it outloud so I will wakeup. LOL. We've already had fecal accidents in that house because he couldn't find the bathroom.
chris, I place DH walker against his side of the bed. I sleep in the room across the hall and I can hear the walker move when he gets up. If your DH doesn't use a walker try something else that will alert you. Even hanging a small bell on the back of a straightback chair would work. I would be terrified if that happened to us in someone else's home. I leave the bathroom light on at home and we seldom stay away from home but on the few times we do I pack a large water proof pad to put on his side of the bed. Even though he is continent, I worry the different place might cause a accident. Years ago, while staying at Disney, and he was on a new med, he wet the bed and I had to call for the workers to exchange out our mattress because it did not have a waterproof pad on it. I was horrified.
Trying an experiment, this a.m. I put a small lamp with a CFL bulb in the powder room--will leave it on when we are on the first level. Since my husband usually can't find the light switches, even if I verbally direct him to the bathroom he is still in the dark (pardon the pun). This will avoid having to leave the regular lighting on all the time, maybe it will help him find his way. (a nightlight wasn't bright enough)