Lately I have noticed my husband crying--not sobbing, but his lower lip will quivver and his eyes will be filled with tears. When I ask him if he is okay or if something is wrong or making him sad, he will say "I'm all right" or " No, nothing's wrong". It doesn't happen a lot, but just the same it is so sad to see...usually he seems happy. It makes me wonder if maybe every now and then he realizes he is not the same person, and doesn't have the same abilities he had before dementia. Though most of the time the anosognosia takes over, do you think it is possible for an awareness of sorts can peek through?
During the early days, right after the diagnosis, my husband almost certainly had depression. At that point he probably understood what had happened to him. That is no longer true. But back then I didn't have access to this group. So I didn't know enough to do what I should have done. Talk to your family doctor or to the neurologist about some anti-depression medication. I'm suggesting the family doctor because that was the doctor that offered it to me, both for me and for him.
Also I learned to have the family doctor control all medications AND all regular blood tests. Specialists could start medications, but I got all renewals through the family doctor. It is much safer to have the family doctor do that so ONE doctor knows everything that you and your husband is taking. I literally walk around with printed out drug lists for both of them and hand them out to every doctor and technician I see. Sometimes the technicians are really happy to see the list, sometimes not, but the doctors all love them.
Starling, I do that too. I keep printed out lists of all drugs, supplements and also list any surgeries, etc. Some doctors, however, ask that you bring the medicine bottles. About the crying, my DH would tear up and it would tear me up but he doesn't do that anymore after the doctor prescribed Cymbalta.
I also carry a list of meds and surgeries in my purse.On cymbalta he would have outbursts and then just sobbed and shook. since he was switched to zoloft there are less outbreaks,he is a lot better.what does hurt him is when a commercial comes on TV for aricept or namenda,it really affects him.has anyone else noticed this?
Bella, my wife Kathryn does the exact same thing. She has gotten to the point that the days she doesn't remember she has Alzheimer’s are the good days because there are days she does know and she becomes depresses. These days are now the bad days for her. She sits and rocks and cries. It is the worst days for us both. Her because she knows, and me because I can’t stand to see her hurt so much. When this first started happening there wasn't anything I could do to help her past it. But as time has gone by the days like this have shortened into hours and have become fewer and further between and I have been able to help her get past them by taking her to the beach, a walk in the mall, shopping, down to St. Augustine or to a movie (always a comedy). It seems to help.
Sometimes I just take her to bed and lay with her until she goes to sleep. When she wakes she no longer remembers and her days are better again.
Thanks to all of you for your helpful suggestions and concern--it really is appreciated. Today was a good day for both of us--we took a drive to The Audobon Center and walked their longest trail--about 2 miles--it was a beautiful fall day, very relaxing. I will keep a close watch on my DH, and if this continues I will bring it to the attention of our primary doctor.
My DH has aphasia but up until now, he could 'show me' or think of it if no pressure to do so. This weekend he tried for over an hour, would get as close as telling me "I've got it"...and then he could not pull out the words. He IS aware and kept apologizing. I kept apologizing because I could not think of yes/no questions to ask to help him. We both experiences a profound sadness and cried together. Him I think in sadness and also frustration because 'HE' is inside yet and me in empathy with him, but also sadness at the loss of my husband. We hugged for awhile, I told him it was NOT HIM but the nasty disease, this is just one more thing to deal with. This is about the most heartbreaking thing that has happened so far in our journey.
Andrea cried a lot, in the beginning. When the disease is just starting to gear up. When she was aware and knew she had AD, she cried because she didn't want to die that way. When she was NOT aware, and just sensed something was wrong, she'd cry because she felt she was going to die. All I can say is it was shitty, plain and simple. Pardon that, but that's just how I felt. Sometimes I could hold her, sometimes not, but for a good 6 months we cried every night together.
No one, NO ONE...should have to have this crap in their life.