Next week our town is having an election for selectman. My wife would like to vote, but I know she will have trouble figuring out the ballot. It will be even worse for the general election next November. How have you handled this problem - absentee ballot, going into the booth with you LO, anything else?
The only way to vote in Oregon is by mail in ballot. It is easy to fill out and then let your DW sign. Of course, she still has to be able to sign - but that is how we do it...
For the primaries, we had talked about it before going to our voting place. He knew who he wanted to vote for and wanted to cast his ballot. When we arrived at our voting place, I had him take out his ID to show them, and he signed his name. He saw me take the ballot, and he took his, and we were in side-by-side booths for the voting. He can still read, so he was able to mark his ballot. I looked at it before he put it in the box, to make certain he had completed it, and he had. It meant a lot to him to go and vote. I know the November ballot will be larger, but they print it in the paper, so if I go over it with him just before we go to vote, hopefully he'll be able to vote then as well. Frand's mail-in ballot will probably be the way we have to handle it in future years.
In California anyone could have an absentee ballot for the asking. In Pennsylvania no one can get one unless your doctor will sign to say you can't get to the polling place. I'm going to try to vote in the primary next week without him. I don't think he is qualified to vote for either party but I'm not sure which party if any he registered for.
For the November election I'm going to try to get an absentee ballot for myself based on the fact that I won't be able to stand up for the hour or two I will need in order to vote. I truly can't stand that long and I believe that will be what the lines will be like because that is what they were like in the last presidential election. The moved my polling place since then, and there have been enough chairs in the line at the new place that I was able to sit for part of the wait. But I don't expect it will work for a presidential election.
As for him, I don't have a clue as to what I will do, or even if it is realistic for him to vote at all.
We live in California and we both vote by absentee ballot. We have been voting this way for some time now because it just makes it easier for us. My DH is able to take his time and he doesn't feel rushed at all.
In Ontario I have had no problems going into the voting booth with my husband for both municipal and provincial elections. I just tell them that he needs assistence. Once the returning officer checked with a supervisor and then told us to go ahead.
Starling brought up a good point. When is it not appropriate or relalistic for an AD patient to be voting? When does it become you, the spouse, casting TWO votes?
When he finally agrees with me - after 46 years! LOL
In all seriousness, we seldom vote the same, even rarely the same party, and if he tells me who he wants to vote for, then I am okay with helping him. We've never been able to sway the other on how to vote in our married lives! :)
I'm grateful he still cares and knows what is going on concerning the people running for office, both locally and nationally. It won't be for much longer though.
Here in MD, I brought that up with one of the election judges when we went to vote in the primary. He said I could help Jeff but needed to sign some sort of release. For now, he seems to be managing, but this may change.
During the last general election, Mary and I were at adjoining machines, but she couldn't figure out the computer and by the time I got over to her, she had "timed out". Now she can't sign her full name and really doesn't follow any current events. I'll take her with me to the polls but will not have her try to vote.
I personally feel that if it makes your lO happy and feeling productive, why not? If he/she can still manage the ballot, do as he/she wishes. Heaven knows, many people who are considered cognitively normal thinking shouldn't be deciding our collective future.but they do. Voting is a right of ours and we don't have a litmus test for votes and the results are not physically dangerous like driving a car,so allow your spouse t o exercise his right as an American citizen !! If it makes him/her feel more normal, I say that is what is the criteria. You can tell I am cynical right now about the voting process .
My DH has voted every election his entire life and I do know how he thinks. There are times we have skipped an issue in the past since we truly didn't know how to decide, which is what I would continue to do. But, I definitely feel ok about marking his ballot and letting him sign. We do discuss as much as possible before doing that. As I've said before, I feel as if I am a benevelent despot since I try to do for my DH what I think is in his best interests, from picking what I know he likes off a menu to filling in the ballot for him.
Here's a voting story that really bothered me. My DH was in a facility and I got a call from soneone I really care for. She told me that since he was unable to vote, I should get an absentee ballot for him and fill it out for the candidate she supported. Since we are diametrically opposed politically, I was not about to do such a thing--not to mention the illegality of it. But ever since, I wonder how many people are doing this, 'voting' for someone just to gain votes for their candidate, not knowing or caring if the person would vote the same way. And yes, Carewife, I too am cynical about voting & the whole process--how could you not be! But I'm going to vote anyway.
Now you folks do realize that in Texas, it has been known for many, many years that dead people vote in their elections! :) Don't get me started on the voting process! lol Truly, once our spouses have lost the ability to know the candidates, remember what voting process is and know who they want to vote for, then it is time to cease. I think each of us has to make that individual determination.
My husband flatly refused to vote, or even register (speaking of being cynical).
Much to my amazement, this year he has been intensely focused on the upcoming elections, and announced that he wants to vote. So for the very first time in his life, he registered (I had to fill out the form for him.)
Since we are in California, anyone can ask for absentee ballot, for any reason. So we'll do it that way.
When I petitioned to be his conservator, one of the issues discussed in court was his right to vote. The judge asked me if he wanted to, I said yes, and that was that.
Thank goodness our election process here in Tennessee is extremely user friendly! We have early voting with a special office, actually the voter registration office, downtown in which "handicapped" may vote. I just take my DH in there, sign the proper papers, and he votes. Yes, one of the supervisors is nearby listening to what I tell him, which I try hard to make as neutral as possible. And because I drive him, I can also vote at the same location. One time I forgot to get us to early voting, we had to stand in a long line, the supervisors would not allow me to assist him, and it was extremely frustrating for him and the people in line behind him. Please check out your election office and see if there is a place for handicapped voters to exercise their right to vote. Take care!
My wife and I always love to go to local PS 30 to vote here on Staten Island. During this years primary my wife was having some difficulty in the voting machine, but a woman there helped her out. I said that my wife was having memory problems and the woman actually laughed!!?? I told her that I was serious!
So what do you guys think for this Nov. 4th? I know she loves going and she does know who she wants to vote for, but here in New York City we have those old voting machines, that you walk into, press the lever, click your votes, and then push the lever back and step out of the voting machine. I have thought of getting an absentee ballot, and she seems ok with doing that, but I'd like use to talk our walk this year. It's our tradition. Will they let me help her?
I checked with our town manager and he said I could go in the booth with her. However, this is a small town where everyone knows everyone else. You should check with your local "judge of elections". Even though I can go in with her, I''m probably going to use absentee since it is easier.
Absentee ballots--it's the only way to go. Do you still have time to get them? I hope so. It is just so much easier. We've been doing it for 13 years and never miss an election/vote of any kind. I think you'll really enjoy doing it that way.
Here in Louisiana we have the same sort of machines at the individual precincts that you described, but for early/absentee voting they have nice new computers at the Registrar's Office. At our local office, they even cover a few parking meters closest to the door with bags that are stenciled noting the spaces are for "early voters only" and you don't have to feed those meters. You should definitely contact your local Registrar's Office on their policy for assisting people with disabilities. If you feel they are cognitively competent, you may wish to mention the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and request "reasonable accommodations" to assist your loved one with voting, Even if they are no longer able to sign their name, if they can make their mark with an "X", you can sign as their witness and be there to help them work the machine/computer. This procedure is nothing new to people who are blind, have fine/gross motor deficits such as Cerebral Palsy or below-the-elbow amputees or people whose power wheelchairs prevent them from being able to reach all of those levers. If you and your loved one feel strongly on this issue and mention the ADA and reasonable accommodations, I think you will see government officials jump through hoops to assist you. They generally don't want to have to defend themselves in civil litigation in violation of a person with disabilities right to vote.
She can still write her name, although it isn't very even. Almost as bad as mine. We've been talking about it, but I'll remember to bring up the ADA if I have too. She really loves going and we know the people there.
I am just wondering... If a person cannot understand the ballot or what they are voting for is it right to let them vote? Is it the same as letting them drive when you may know that it is not safe for them or others even though they may have a license? I for one, would not let my DH vote if he didn't understand what he was voting for or against. I have heard him repeatedly say "I fought to for these freedoms and he just hated when they were abused" so that statement will help me make the decision for him not to vote when he doesn't understand.
I mailed my H absentee ballot today. I read him the canidates and he told me who he wanted to vote for. He knew what he was doing. I am going to vote next week because we have early voting here for a couple weeks or so and there are no lines.
JudithKB, the right to vote is sacrosanct in the U.S., and one of the very last rights to be taken away from the mentally impaired. When I petitioned to become my husband's conservator, the judge asked me if he wished to vote. (Me, mind you, even though he was sitting right there.) I told her he did, and his right to continue to vote is in my "papers".
We will vote absentee. He is paying attention to the election, even though he can't remember when it is, and has some pretty strong opinions about it. He'll need the time and peace and quiet for me to go over the ballot with him.
(The polls aren't very exciting here ... our polling place is in the garage next door.)
This year my husband won't vote. I got an absentee ballot for me. Not easy in Pennsylvania where you have to be too sick to go to the poll. In my case I'm too disabled to wait on the lines - literally - so I applied complete with Latin terms and they sent me a ballot. I've already voted.
The last time he voted one of the volunteers helped him with the machine. That was a year ago. He knew who he wanted to vote for, but needed help using the machine, and they are allowed to do that for him once I explained he would need help. The machines are set so no one can see what you are doing on them, but they are actually in the open so if someone is interfering with the voter everyone would be able to see that.
This time he doesn't actually understand that there is an election going on or who is running for what, so I didn't get him a ballot too. He has enough things wrong with him I probably could have done it, but it doesn't seem right to do it at this point.
I certainly think anyone that can understand, even if for a few short minutes, what or who they are voting for should be allowed to do so and I believe my DH would want to do so and I would help him in anyway I could. That being said, if he wasn't able to understand (which I hope is a long way away) I know he wouldn't want to vote. He is just kind of a "redneck" when it comes to rights and them being abused and I have seen him in years gone by tell someone that was trying to silent someone else, that he had fought for that person to express themselves and to please be respectful of those rights even though he might not agree with what the person was saying.
You know Judith, I truly do agree. He hadn't voted in quite a few elections before the one last year. He wanted to vote and I decided that if they could help him use the machinery and he knew who he wanted to vote for and could explain it to them then he should be allowed to vote.
This year not only couldn't he have explained who he wanted to vote for (his language skills are now that bad) but I'm pretty sure he doesn't even understand that there is an election going on, and I literally can't take him to the polling place because I can't physically handle the lines. Last presidential election the lines were 2+ hours long in our area during the non-rush hours.
The last election I went in the booth with my husband with their approval. I'll do the same for this election. He's able to sign his name. He always wants to vote however I do. If I wanted to vote for Mickie Mouse, he'd probably want to also. LOL Seriously, I try to discuss the candidates with him and he knows their differences.
My DH is not able to sign his name any more, he also has no idea who is running for office. In the primary I singned a paper that stated he needed help. But I will not do it this time since as I said he has no clue as to what is going on. I also will hand them his voters card this time to keep.
My hubby never voted before the first Clinton Election, because of his Learning Disabilities--his family just figured he couldn't do it. I asked him if he wanted to, and tolds him he could have poll workers help him at the polls or we could see about absentee ballot and I could help him at home. He's never missed an election since. Ayear ago, I had to call and ask what could be done, because he'd lost the ability to sign his name. They reregistered him with "His Mark"(he chose a capital R in cursive). This year he's lost a lot of his ability to follow directions. Big check marks don't work well when filled in little eggs are what's needed. I finally had him put a dot in the egg for his choice and then colored them in for him--still only his choice. He knows who he wants to vote for. He will probably skip some positions or proposals.(You can do that). We will probably do our ballots and send them, back next week. Next year is another story. If he expresses a desire to vote, I'll do what we need to, but if he doesn't I'm not pushing him. There's truly no more room for me to help him without tipping into doing it for him, which isn't legal. At least he wasn't totally cut off from expressing his choices all his life.
I participate as an election official often. Texas has all sorts of rules about not allowing spouses to assist in spouse voting, and of course it varies depending on which precinct you go to and what kind of mood they are in.
trisinger, in California we used absentee ballots for years, both of us. In California you can get one just for asking. They figure if you need one, you know why you need one. So as my inability to stand on lines got worse, I still could vote.
In Pennsylvania you have to have serious medical conditions in order to get an absentee ballot. My husband literally doesn't have any physical conditions that would allow him to get that ballot. This is the first election where I was allowed to have one because the lines will be long and I literally can't stand up long enough to vote locally. And I expect I will be rejected for elections where the lines won't be as long.
I really wish the people who run the DMV around here, who have come up with ways to get rid of all the lines, and if you really do need to go to the actual DMV (first license in the state is about the only reason) they sit you down in chairs and give you a number to listen for. And when they move you around they sit you down in even more chairs. The people who interview you sit at desks with at least two side chairs. The people who take the pictures have a bank of chairs. Some of this is crowd control since there are reasons to be at the DMV that might get people angry. But even the off site picture taking agency puts you in chairs as crowd control.
I find it odd that there are such different mind sets between the two government agencies. One will do almost anything to keep you from having to come into their offices in person and the other won't let you vote at home, or early, even when you are too sick to stand in line.
In Florida a phone call will set us up with absentee ballots for the entire year. From now on, this is how we are both voting to avoid the confusion my husband was having at the voting booth.
Just my opinion - it's morally and ethically wrong to let severely cognitively impaired people vote. I get the argument that plenty of other folks vote, who also don't understand issues and implications. I don't like that situation, either, and two wrongs don't make a right in this case.
Last year, a woman who cares for a disabled son came in to vote. She set him down in a chair while she went to vote. He leaned over and began to play with the chair leg while grunting and humming to himself. She finished, and came back over to him, and got him to get out of the chair (although he didn't want to because he suddenly found his tennis shoe string very fascinating and wanted to play). We observed this, and each of us thought about how hard it must be to be in charge of that on a daily basis.
In the nicest way possible, we thanked her for coming to vote, and complimented her on the wonderful job she was doing taking care of her son. She was very happy and chirped, "Yes, next year Tommy gets to vote too! He turns 18 in two months!"
I thought I would be ill. Not that I had anything against this young man, but was this the intention of our founding fathers for the voting process? To reduce it to a fun field trip for someone who was trying to eat the I VOTED sticker?
There are procedures in place to protect our votes. You have to meet basic criteria and be able, reasonably to perform the actions of voting yourself. Help can be provide to a degree, and there are rules for that. These had to be put in place to protect our choices from those who would defraud us---multiple ballots, etc. A quadruplegic person whose mental faculties are not impaired, should still be able to vote, though he can't color the egg or pull the lever, or punch the chad himself. Poll workers are trained to help(in pairs to prevent coersion(?). A family member the voter trusts can be allowed to help. However, when the mental capability is not there, the person really should not be voting. That's why, I'm not pushing my hubby to vote anymore, in fact I'll be playing it down a lot. This time he knows who he wants and he can still do a limited job of marking his ballot.
This feels a lot like the driving issue. When to encourage and help and when to take it away---and how.
This may be our last time to vote together. We make a big pot of tea, read the voters' pamphlet together carefully and make informed decisions. He alwalys likes to sign and date the ballots. He does ask about the different candidates and he listens to the debates. I'd never stop him from exercising his right to vote.
Mawzy, that is the way we did it in California where you can get an absentee ballot for the asking. If we could still have done it that way here in Pennsylvania I could have made the decision once I was sure what was going on in his head. It would have made this question a lot easier.
My DH and I voted this morning at a local mall. The line moved quickly. I had printed out a sample ballot and we marked it to indicate our choices. We got separated at sign in and then he was ahead of me. I found him sitting down at a computer where he looked at a touch screen and made selections. It was the only such machine. I don't know if he asked for help of what. It took him a long time, but he did it. No matter how I plan to do things, it never seems to work. At least we voted, it is over and a relief.
I decided that my wife and I would vote absentee, so I got the forms. She had to sign the application and did well. After we filled out the ballots, with me helping her, she had to sign again to compare with the application. For the first time, she could not sign her name. The next day, on another form, she signed it fine. I discarded her ballot. She will not vote again, since she really doesn't know what is happening.
We voted Wednesday. My husband has been commenting on every poster we've seen since then. I've been surprised, he seems much more "with it" now than he did while we were filling out the ballots, remembers who he voted for and what he voted on, and why. (Here in California, we are "blessed" with dozens of propositions in addition to candidates.)
Our ballots are marked and sent in. He made his choices on the positions and Proposals he wanted to vote on and skipped the rest. Unless he expresses a definite desire to vote, I'm not promoting voting to him again. Right now he can follow the information, but the next few elections here will be smaller ones and by the next big one (Govenor) I doubt he'll be able to sort it all out. He was so amazed and proud to vote in the first Clinton race--his first time voting. And now already he's done. No one in his family or friends ever considered that he could vote because in their minds, he was "to dumb". He was never "dumb" just learning disabled. His capacity for covering his deficits has always been really good and has helped him hide his current problems a lot too. (Sometimes to well.) That capacity trips me up every once in a while, and I should know better.<grin>
Based on the idea I got from this site, I got absentee ballots for my wife and I because the last time voting was nothing short of a total disaster. So, filling out the ballots last night, she didn't really know any of the choices other than the President. I did the best to help her without telling her what to do. When it comes time to get her signature on anything, I have her practice on a seperate sheet until she gets it right. After about 9 attempts, she got close so I showed her where to sign. She started to print instead so I held her hand and tried to help her sign her name. Since they have her signature on file at the election office to verify authenticity, I'm sure her vote will not be counted. However, she sure felt good about voting. I seriously doubt she will ever vote again. Thenneck
My husband told me who he wanted to vote for as I read each canidate to him so since I have POA for him, I market his ballot myself. Also included with the ballot was a form I was to fill out designated I was POA for him. He has always voted and it is a very big issue with him. He is confused about when the election is over because of his voting abstentee, my voting early at the CourtHouse and the TV ads.
thenneck, if your wife does want to vote in the next election ... the voter can usually sign with an "X" or, as lmohr did, can have a POA sign for him/her. Check into the regulations where you vote.
My hubby was reregistered to make his "mark" in place of his signature. He chose his first initial.
In Michigan the voter has to 'mark their own ballot' so I had him put a mark in the oval for his choice, then I colored them in. Stray marks invalidate and I'm sure big check marks do too. I read the choices to him, he told me who/what he wanted; I told him which oval for his choice/he marked it.
He only wanted to vote the President and the 2 Proposals. Had no intgerest in the other positions on the ballot.
When my DH was in a facility someone I know called and told me to get him an absentee ballot, to fill it out & send it in. Only problem is that we do not agree politically and I realized there may be many people doing this, getting votes from someone who is not really capable, but it can be done w/an absentee ballot. If DH was aware enough, I'd have done it and let him make his own political decisions.