Well, in all the time I've been here at Joan's place, this subject is one I haven't seen. It has happened to us this week, so I'm bringing it up for those of you who will follow me.
Do you remember the Tom Hanks movie "Big" where he ate the mini corn on the cob? Well, we went out for a barbecue and french fries dinner last night. When my husband picked up his french fry, he ate it like Tom ate that ear of corn! Drew and I both smiled. After he ate three that way, I suggested that he put the end in his mouth and bite off the fry. Well, he stuffed the whole thing in his mouth looking like a chipmunk with a mouth full of nuts. Drew burst out laughing and I had to turn away so he wouldn't see me smile.
This morning I gave him two orange danish rolls on a small plate. He lifted the plate and tried to eat it off the plate. I had to take one of the rolls and place it in his hand, then he took a bite.
He has been trying to use a fork when fingers are called for, and fingers when a spoon is called for. We have learned to place the utensil in his hand and show him how to use it at the beginning of the meal. (We forgot last night!)
The actual chewing once the food is in the mouth, and chew it well before swallowing, he still does.
And we now have changed some of the foods we eat, in order to make it easier on him so that he can continue to feed himself.
Mary-this disease is so perverse. My husband is now a solid 7. The only thing he can still do is eat his pureed diet very neatly without spilling a thing. Of course provided he is having a '"good" day which for him means being awake for a few minutes. I know how much it hurts to see our loved ones lose more and more function.
Well, we are there too, most of the time. My husb doesn't "lift" the plate, but does try to bend down towards plates and glasses to get what he wants, seeming to forget that he has hands that will work to help him. I agree that it hurts more & more as they lose more & more of their functions. My husb also forgets what to do with food if he gets it on the fork and/or spoon. He actually rarely can "fork" anything any longer and if he's able to get something on his spoon, seems like after he "finally" does, then the thought of what to do with it is lost...sometimes even with food still on the spoon, he goes back into the bowl in search of another "bite" before the one bite is taken. Very sad. I have taken to trying to help him eat ALOT, and I don't eat till later sometimes...unless we are having food that is 'cold' already. Mary, Bluedaze, I'm there with you both!!
Jim's diet is being changed to soft with thickened liquid. He is not happy about it. Problem is that he will choke on water, iced tea, coffee, or food. They are worried that he will choke, aspirate and then with his muscles atrophing he could end up with a pneumonia that he cannot fight. This disease sucks. I hate it. It is so cruel. Good people taken down in the prime of their lives, loved ones left to try and hold it together when every seam is deteriorating.
Susan I think my husband is much further along than Jim. Bill never noticed when his diet was changed to soft and then pureed. The thickened liquids really help.
My husband was "forgetting" how to eat before he was placed. One evening he picked up his plate and tried to take a bite out of the side of it. After he was placed and put into the merry walker, he had to be fed because there was no comfortable way to get the food close enough to him. Now that he is in a wheel chair he has still been hand fed. I go every evening and feed him is dinner. Earlier this week I took the silver ware out of the wrapper and laid it on the table then reached over and took the cover off of his dinner plate. He picked up the fork and went for it. Ate every bite on his plate by himself! Everyone praised him for doing such a good job. But....................won't do it now. He chokes on liquids but seems to do alright with solids. Go figure.
I've always been impressed/amused with my husband's ability to use chopsticks, esp. to eat sushi, which we both love. Lately he's had trouble with the larger rolls, the fancier ones - I do too, much rather eat at home where I can be messy! So I gave him a fork to use. He won't use it. But he used his chopsticks to carefully pick up the little soy sauce container - slippery plastic envelope like for ketchup at McD's - and put it in his mouth! I retrieved it.
You scared me, Mary, with your caption! As long as he can get the food down, I'm happy!
Odd about the chopsticks. Of all the things mine can't do, he can still use chopsticks. Only thing is, he usually picks them up upside down, and I have to turn them around for him before he starts.
;-) In our world there's no such thing as properly!!! Who would have thought I'd be letting a cat sit at the table and eat with us! But Shadow-cat is allowed. Who'd have thought I'd be letting a kid in drug-recovery come in and help? But I do...
I learned long ago, doing something properly is: Doing it in the manner that gets it done. Look at the end result desired, then figure out how to get there. There is no right, wrong, correct, incorrect way to do things. I know I'm generalizing, but this approach works an awful lot of the time.
That is a great attitude. At each stage as my husband gradually lost the ability to feed himself, it was a loss that was hard to take. He still eats regular food and is terrific about finishing everything on his plate. They don't even have to fight with him to get him to eat. I consider that a blessing.
My biggest challenge with this - learning how to pickup those diced mixed vegetables (even with a spoon) and get it to his mouth without spilling anything on him!
therrja, I have found putting his soup in a mug and crackers or corn chips mixed in to thicken works great. I would imagine putting the veggies in a mug would also be easier. Now that I think of it lots of foods would be better in a mug. You could have a mug for pudding, applesauce etc. You can hold the mug close to his mouth while feeding him. My DH does better with a straw. I buy foam cups with lids at the Dollar Store and put a straw in it. You can use the same cup all day. They have the sippy lid but I just put the straw through the little hole.
therrja, welcome to my club. I go to the nursing home every evening to feed Charlie his dinner. If there was a dog roaming around in there he would get a good meal at our table. I have gotten better at getting the food in his mouth instead of on him or the floor but some things are messier than other. Like your spouse, he likes to eat but sometimes I feel like he got shorted because I dropped so much.
Today we were eating out after our dr. appt in Dallas & went to the "Original Market Diner" (Harry Hines & Market Street) -- YUM!! Had to physically help DH sit in the booth, slide over, etc etc etc...BUT, we got it done & got our food....Had to help DH eat, drink, wipe mouth, etc etc etc...BUT, we did it!! We are a team!! I continue to tell him that & WE continue to do well. After we paid & were already walking out, the waitress came to me & said "I just want you to know I was watching you the whole time & I noticed how much you care for him & love him"...She said to my DH "You are a lucky man"! Her expression of love to us caused me to "spill" and I let her know he was my husb of 22 years, love of my life, and that we are dealing with Alzheimer's...she said again "Well, I just know you care for him....it shows so much"....it was a great day indeed!! :) God is good, always!!
Mary, to my Mary all food is finger food. I cut up the meat and she is a very good eater. I've stopped long ago worrying about the use of proper utensils.
Natsmom, we love to go out to eat, too. The big problem is getting her to sit down and we've had to leave restaurants when I couldn't get her to sit. Fast food places are fine because she can eat while standing up and no one seems to care. I, too, have had waitresses and other patrons stop by the table to take my hand and tell me what a good job I am doing with her. Those few words of affirmation are priceless!
I have found that most everything fits into sandwiches..cut into fourths. He wouldn't even try to eat the shrimp creole I fixed on Saturday evening because it "had too much stuff". It's shrimp sauteed in garlic butter then tossed lightly in a yummy spicy creole sauce served over white rice. Nope. He had a ham sandwich later.
Have you taken a banana and sliced it, and put a dab of peanut butter on it and a toothpick in the center so that he could pick it up and eat it? It's less messy than handing him a banana with it half peeled! <grin> And he loves grapes (green seedless seem to be the ones he prefers) - I just disconnect them and put them in a plastic bowl for his snack. And I hadn't bought Pop Tarts in years....but now I'm buying them again! He eats them very quickly! And Vienna Sausages! And baby carrots! And apple wedges. I'm finding all sorts of finger foods now! <grin>
Like Nancy, I cut sandwiches into fourths, because it is less messy and easier for him to manage.
Natsmom and Baltobob, we still take him out to eat once a week, and he's doing okay with cleaning his plate still. I take the baked potato out of its skin so that it is easier for him to get on his fork.
Baltobob, you are right, every word of praise we hear helps us so much - to know that others can see it. Someone told me that they could see the look of love in my husband's eyes, but I can't.......maybe it was a flicker when I wasn't looking, or maybe I just want to believe it....