I would like each of you to think long and hard on this one - what ONE thing, if you could only give one piece of advice to a caregiver who just found out that their spouse has Alzheimer's Disease, would you say to him/her?
Please try not to repeat.....overlapping is okay.
Mine is to LEARN all you can - by reading books, on the internet and here at Joan's place - everything you can about the disease and its stages and what to expect. Education helps tolerance and acceptance.
Mine would have been what Mary said, so my next piece of advice would be to join a support group and make friends with people in it. No one will understand and be there for you like someone else going through the same experience.
My best advice would be not to lose yourself. Not to get so wrapped up in the illness, the loss, etc., that you give up your life. To hold on tight to the interests, friends, activities that make up your personality.
ACCEPTANCE. Accept what is going on as soon as you can. It makes LEARN, much more effective. If you are still trying to fix things, you are burning energy that you will need later.
DO IT NOW! No matter what it is that you want to do, from the elder care attorney, to going on that wonderful vacation you always wanted, to going to visit family and friends. DO IT NOW!
Today Joan wrote a blog about things disappearing FOREVER, and it is really hitting me hard.
Educate your family and close friends re spouse's illness. Do not assume...no matter how smart they are...that they know what to expect. Through this education and dialogue you can all build a better support system and a better understanding of their LO as role reversal occurs.
If your LO exhibits problem behavior -- rage, ranting, scolding, agitation, etc. -- try to get medication that reduces anxiety: Seroquel, Risperdal, etc. or an antidepressant like Zoloft, Paxil of Celexa. In many case this will make your LO much easier to live with. MY DH takes 14 pills a day but this is the one I double-check for every time.