Joan, I have found that what he may be able to do today he won't tomorrow, or an hour later or whenever. I don't think you can anticipate each and every time what they will do or can do. At least that's the way it is at our house! My DH can sometimes tell someone our phone number and address, other times he cannot. I try to let him do what he CAN at the moment, but know for a fact, it may change next time. God help us all.
Yes, "arranging his environment to make things easier for him" says it all. Not only easier, but more pleasant. I think that's what wears us out, taking all the responsitility for their comfort, both physically, mentally and emotioanally.
When I asked DH to take out the garbage, I meant from the kitchen to the garbage can. Instead, yesterday, he put the garbage can and recycling bins outside for pick-up. Only thing is- our pick up is on Monday. When we moved 4 years ago from a home we had lived in for 32 years, he had difficulty remembering our address. I am not sure he even knows his phone number yet. There is a certain slide when you make changes, I have found. Anything different is difficult. If I leave my husband alone for an hour or two he is waiting for me on the porch when I come home. I think my husband is more advanced into AD than yours, Joan. Your groundhog day post described my life. I am getting so used to it, it is no longer a surprise.
mary one of the early signals that something was not right was that my husband, who at that point could still drive safely, had not learned his address or phone number. We moved about a year after his EVENT and HE BOUGHT THIS HOUSE without my help, but with the help of my daughter and son-in-law. At that point he still knew what year it was and what month it was and what day of the week it was.
Pris, you are so right. We are constantly adjusting things for them. Making sure that they don't get agitated or depressed or upset. Making everything as easy as possible. And it does wear me out. I'm tired!
It seems like every day there are new surprises right now. Just now I was taking him to bed (he likes me to come along to the bedroom and tuck him in) I was folding laundry while he was getting undressed and suddenly realized he was standing in the door to the bathroom looking puzzled. I asked what was the matter and he said he wanted to go to the toilet. Then I remembered that the toilet paper roll beside the stool was empty. All he had to do to replace it was to get a new roll from the cabinet under the sink two steps away, but he had forgotten.
This afternoon I found an empty applesauce jar, beautifully washed and dried, in the refrigerator. Up till now, he knew that the empty jar should go in the back room with the recycle stuff.
Eureka! Now I know why I'm tired all the time: planning, decisions, being surprised and it's not like it was when we had toddlers and I did all that. Now it's just the 2 of us, and I'm weary. This morning, he dressed for church: suit & tie. I'd gotten up earlier and we stared at each other: he dressed up; me in jeans and sweatshirt. "Isn't this Sunday"?
At a doctor's office he was given a form to sign. The word patient was typed under the line he was to sign on. He wrote the word "patient." It took the office gal to get through to him to write his name; he got upset w/me. I have poa; so maybe I should just go ahead and sign.
Today I found a form he'd written on for some sort of scam business. On line where it asked for phone number, he wrote: 3 ext I threw the form away. He gave me an envelope to mail yesterday. I could tell it had cash in it; so when he wasn't around, I opened it: $1 Form said send $3.00 for further information. Another scam. Vigilance with mail is really getting to me.
And the "stuff" goes on. Not the same as the "real" toddlers. He's on his way to bed---gotta get the pills and patch for him. He NEVER remembers to take his pills.
I found at the camp host job I could not let Art go off to do trash pickup or table repairs because he would forget which ones he had done. He had a sheet of paper to mark them off but he marked off the wrong ones when I gave him one area to do. It is exhausting always worry whether they remember to do whatever and if it is correctly done. I may be over protective but feel I have to oversee everything he does. I hate it.