Your last sentence was so true......"and what we do know can change in an instant". We can never be sure of our loved one's abilities and must be contstantly vigilant as they can never be counted on to do what a person with a normal functiioning cognitive ability will do. Too many accounts of a person with Alzheimers getting lost, leaving a stove on etc. MY husband surprised me many time with inappropriate behavior that I wasn't expecting
I went to the grocery store this morning and asked DH if there was anything he wanted. His usual cookies of course and that "white stuff to make sandwiches" I asked if he meant swiss cheese, "No it isn't any kind of cheese>" After some detective work he meant Turkey! I am starting wonder how long I can leave him alone. I know he is highly functional and if I suggest someone to stay with him he would have a fit. Sometimes I think it would be easier if he was further along in Alz, I would at least know what to do and when. I THINK!
I can still leave DH alone for a couple of hours; however, I call him periodically to make sure he's okay. I tell him I'm just calling to tell him I love him and will be home in a few minutes. He's okay with that and doesn't think I'm checking up on him. If he doesn't answer, I'll know that something has happened (or he's in the bathroom!), so I call back in a few minutes. So far, it is working. I do, however, get a little anxious until he answers. They can change so quickly. What they can do today they may not be able to do tomorrow. Such is AD.
Jean21 - even as the disease progresses, you never know what they can do or when they can do it. They keep surprising you. You may think something is totally gone and a few weeks later - its back..... It truly is a roller coaster.
What always surprises me is how he is so different (less responsive) with other visitors. They tell me how he did nothing, did not respond and all kinds of things. I get responses from him and get him to do things. This is probably because I am there most days and am very comfortable with him and know how he is but still it is so sad for them.
Usually mine bops along without much change, but lately he seems to be forgetting how to do things he does daily. Every morning he uses the walker to get to his stair-chair, sits in it, pulls up a lever to align it right, and pushes the button in the armrest to come downstairs. Lately I have to stick with him (or go back and get him) and coach him through every move, as if he'd never done it before. With things like getting on his t-shirt, I've simply started holding it and guiding his hands through, etc - easier to do that than coach. But this is stuff that if he forgets, we're in serious trouble. Yet he still is alert much of the time, talkative, comprehending, etc. He repeats when I say when I coach him - but it's not just simply echoing, it's as if that's the way he really "hears" an instruction so he can act on it.
I can really relate to what you speak of - what can they do - when do we need to step back. I have come to the same conclusion, that I need to "monitor" each situation as we both know he has AD and that he doesn't always function like he should.
Terrja - I also experience that inconsistency of his ability - it comes and goes. Sometimes, like right now - he is doing so well that I question myself as to whether he really does have AD. Like Joan, I think I have worked to create an environment that he will be successful in.
My DW is in >7 and I use the old motto that "if anything can go wrong, It pro bably will" That does not fit my writings on Positive Mental Attitude but with AD, there are just too many places for our LO's to go wrong when we leave them alone. Carol must know this because she follows me all over the house. Even when I go to the bathroom. But if I don't help her with everything that might have possible problems, I would feel so guily if something happened. A small problem has to do with exterior doors. Carol daily, almost hourly goes to doors and looks out at the weather, etc. and usually opens the door. It seldom gets closed securely and may blow open. The problem is that our Kittyboy gets out and this is dangerous as well as inconvenient. We have coyotes is this urban community as well as bobcats. They love cats and these little dogs that so many have in our neighborhoodl. I have chains and night latches but carol can still get them open. I have a keyed lock on back door but hesitate to use it. She has never wandered or even left our porch and driveway. But we have to expect problems from even simple things like even going to the toilet regularly or drinking enough liquid, or washing hands, or cleaning counters with dirty wash cloths or even used Kleenix.
billeld - my lo started leaving exterior door open several years ago. I had those automatice door closers installed and they work to close the door. Before that, a snake got in the house. Yuk..... Now I just have to be sure the doors are locked, but at least they are closed.
You never know when a function will fail, and you can rarely anticipate it. The accident that led to my grandmother's death 18 years ago occurred when she was visiting my parents home (she had mild AD, and lived in an ALF.) She always enjoyed afternoon baths, and managed them herself. One afternoon she began screaming, and my mother rushed upstairs to discover that my grandmother had filled the tub with too-hot water, and not tested it before climbing in. She was quite burned, and post-hospitalization moved to the nursing care section, in hopes she could recover her former independence, but she never did.