Joan, I used to feel guilty about leaving him sitting for hours on end. However, my DH reached the stage that he's comfortable doing that, either playing games on his laptop, or watching TV, doing his cross-word puzzles, etc. I have gotten rid of the guilt. If he's happy, I'm happy. If he wants to go somewhere, I'll stop whatever I'm doing and go. I plan at least one outing each day - usually in the morning, which is his best time. Afternoons, he content to sit and play, watch TV, etc. That also gives me the time to do what I need to do around the house without him constantly asking me questions - repeatedly. LOL
I don't feel guilty by leaving my husband to watch tv as long as he wants or go for his short walks a few times a day (I monitor these with my verizon chaperone on his phone). I always take him out of the house for a little outing everday even if its just to the mall--which is usually where he wants to go. He's a content guy who's only worry right now is what he's having for his next meal.
I am DELIGHTED whenever DH is contented to spend a few hours puttering at his desk or in front of the TV. Usually he wants to GO someplace. Consider yourself lucky, Joan and Deb. I would be delighted to just go someplace once a day. I try to keep it down to two outings a day. ANd I must say he is a little more contented to stay in now that it's got cold outside.
as time moves forward you will be glad that they just get up to walk around the house much less be able to watch TV and comprehend anymore- . their energy levels tend to sink as well and it takes alot out of them to get out and maintain that profile at times we see them put on. i too think its best to just leave them be and enjoy the quiet times. divvi
I worried about my DW since unless something was going on she would just sit in her chair and go to sleep. I tried getting her to watch TV or movies, but she would doze off with them. I have finally decided that I can't provide entertainment all the time and that just sitting and doing nothing is not hurting her. This is hard to accept since she was always busy doing something.
This sort of reminds me of the parents of today that seem to think their children need activities all the time.
DH does NOTHING and I'm not about to try to entertain him. If his brain cannot connect enough to spark the idea to "act" I'm not about to take on that added responsibility.
Weejun, our husbands sound like twins and I feel just like you do. If someone asked him what he does, he would tell them all kinds of things. Maybe in his mind he thinks that but like yours, he does absolutely nothing. just sits in his chair. doesn't even sleep.
Mine spends a lot of time eating. I try to get stuff that will keep him busy for a while. Grapes for instance. I buy nuts in the shell so he will have something to do cracking them. Plus, he's not too into eating all those. He puts them in jars for me to use. I save sales slips and put them on his desk so he can fuss with them and collect them in big piles clamped together. He used to add up the totals on his computer, later on paper, now all that seems beyond him. Once I made the mistake of throwing a pile out. Had to fish it out of the trash, he knew exactly what was missing and was convinced we had had burglars in the night. When reading the paper I try to find a picture that will appeal to him and point it out when I've finished the paper. Sometimes (but these times are becoming rare) he will cut out a picture, paste it on a piece of white paper and punch holes in it to put in a binder. I find his pictures in all kinds of binders where they don't belong.
My DH also does NOTHING all day. Justs sits in his chair and watches TV. Yet, if someone asks him what he does, he'll tell them he plays handball. (He was an avid handball player...like 4 times a week, but that stopped about 2-1/2 years ago.)
But he seems quite content to do nothing, and I'm not about to make waves. I take him on shopping trips with me and also to get the mail. I try to keep his routine steady. Like a child, he anxiously waits for me to come home from work. His companion of 4 hours leaves and then we have dinner and a little cozy time together before bedtime. I also assist with showering (which always invokes an argument) and shaving, but at least he's not yet incontinent.
And then it begins all over again. I'm grateful that I still have my job because it provides a pleasant break in my life.