Just wanted those of you who have responded and given me advice over the last year and a half to know that my husband passed away on July 25..the result of an "undetected" (even though he had been hospitalized 3 times within a 6 month period) U.T.I. The infection got into his blood stream and by the time it was "discovered" and treated, there was so much damage done that he would have required a feeding tube and dialysis just to maintain him at less than a desirable level, for an unknown period of time. We both had made out living wills about 12 years ago, so my family and I decided to place him in hospice and let God decide. The relief I felt when his battle was finally over, also made me feel guilty, and as we had been married for 55 years, the hole in my life is huge. He was the best husband a wife could ever hope for until this awful disease took away the man I knew. I am grateful for the support and insight I gained from this website, but I know you will all agree that much more needs to be available to families who are struggling with this totally overwhelming problem. Thanks all who were there for me..I will continue to pray for all of you who are still fighting the battle.
Dewdrop, I'm so sorry for your loss, but relieved for you and your DH that his struggle is over. I hope as time goes by you are ever more able to pick up the pieces of your life and move forward. ((((Hugs))))
Oh, Dewdrop, my heartfelt sympathy is with you for your loss. It is great to have the memories of the good husband he had been to you over the year. May you find peace and happiness in the days ahead.
Dewdrop - my sympathy to you for your loss. Please do not feel guilty over the relief that you feel that the struggle is finally over. He is in a better place. My you find peace.
Death, especially from this horrific disease AD, is very traumatic for the LO. The heart is overwhelmed with grief for what you have lost...all the memories and love. While the intellect, your head is saying, thank God it is over. So many patients that I worked with, and in my own personal experience with my sister, have felt guilty when the intellect kicks in....how could you wish your loved one dead, why am I relieved? As you say he was the best husband...you were the best wife. No regrets. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I extend my sympathies and prayers to you at this time of sorrow. Yes, the hole is deep, but continue to fill it with happy memories. Peace be with you and your family. God Bless.
Dewdrop, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. He is in a better place now. With time, healing will come and you will remember all the happy memories you collected over the 55 years.
Dewdrop, my deepest sympathy to you, along with thoughts and prayers as you deal with your loss. I am so glad you have loving memories of a wonderful husband.
Dewdrop, may I add my sympathy and condolences to you. He is now in a better place, and you will begin filling that empty hole with loving memories of the 50 years or so prior to AD. I wish you well as you begin a new life. My prayers are with you. (((HUGS)))
Dewdrop, my deepest sympathy to you. It is so sad to watch a life go under any circumstances, it is so good that you have lots of years of good memories to look back on. ((HUGS))
Dewdrop - With all my sympathy and understanding. The relief one feels at this time is overwhelming, but not cause for guilt. You did everything you could. Somewhere he knew this and loved you all the more for it. Blessings.
Please accept my sincerest condolences on the loss of your dear husband. I hope that you will find peace knowing that his fight with Alzheimer's Disease is over. Take care of you now.
Dear Dewdrop: I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the deep hole you have left. Someone earlier said to fill it with happy memories. I pray peace and comfort for you and your family.
Dewdrop, thank you for taking the time to share your loss with us. Please let us know how life after dementia goes for you. We still care, Arms around, Susan
Don't feel quilty about being glad that the battle is over. I have a friend who lost his first wife over a year ago to hypatitis C and she was under hospice care for 2 years. She finally passed away 2 years after the doctors told her that she only had 6 months to live. The reason I bring this up is that others that knew him were upset with him when he said that he was glad that it was all over. No one can understand what we go through but us(all of us that are going through it) All they know is that we should be grieving and why aren't you grieving. To make it worse(not in my eyes but in theirs) he got remarried about 4 months later. They hated that. I just told them when they asked me what I thought about it was that if you look at it from a phscyological way he was going through the grieving process long before she died. Every day for 2 years he said good bye to her so that by the time she actually died he had already gone through the process that a person goes through. Of course you know men, they can't live without a woman by their side very long.lol :-)