Today was the major visit by the home nurse sent to evaluate G for our LTC insurance initialization. I couldn't believe how completely lucid he was! It was pleasant and forthcoming to her questions..did miss a few, but not too badly. He didn't take five minutes to get out of his chair, didn't stumble..good grief, I hope we don't have to go thru this 2 hour process all over again. I think she was aware that he might not have been "normal" today, and I did mention it. She was horrified at our stairs to the second floor..what does she expect I can do about them? I did mention that a move is in our future when housing gets going again (is that truly in our future?) The entire experience was rather surreal. G thought her pleasant,but got bored with the questions quickly. I wonder if anyone at the insurance company really reads all that stuff!
Oh Kathi, we went through the same thing the first time Hospice came out to evaluate him. The second evaluation was 180 degrees different. What did I do to make it be different?? First, I didn't tell him anyone was coming over, then when she did, I was not the 'hostess with the mostess', and just let silence rule..it was between him, entirely..and the nurse. She was patient,.. took a long time in the evaluation..almost 1.5 hours.. and he was approved in a nano second.
I pay for LTC insurance, ... and have paid in for years and years. I hate for them to tell me, at the time I feel it is necessary to begin using it, that I'm not 'qualified for help".
Lately, we're all being challenged by agencies of all sorts. We really don't need this!
Happens all of the time. When I took Sid to Social Security Office to apply for disability, I spent half the time kicking him under the table, because he was answering all of the woman's questions perfectly. When she asked him about doctor's appointments, he took out his apt. book, flipped back through the pages, and found all of the apts. she asked about. He was, just as you said, completely lucid, chatted conversationally, and appeared perfectly normal. Makes you crazy, doesn't it?
I'm glad it isn't just us..how frustrating to want them to behave in a negative manner in order to "pass" someone's test! What's wrong with this picture? Oh well.
I didn't want my dear husband to act in a negative manner, - but just as much, I didn't want him to 'pull up' that meet and greet personality that comes out when he meets someone for the first time. His psychologist said he may always have that..from his lengthly career that demanded it and his years as a Diplomat. Behind all of that is a vast nothingness, but the visitor is blown away by the person he is pretending to be. We want them to be as they are, be seen as they are..24/7 .. when they are in their everyday routine. Onlly then can they be diagnosed accurately, and/or assessed accurately. I went through years of being doubted by family and friends because they couldn't/wouldn't see him as he was.
It appears that we are facing the how he is/how he appeears soon too. We are being Recertified for our GoBus service. And I found out today they "need us to have 'Functional Evaluations' to document that we really need the GoBus and cannot use the fixed route bus system. When originally enrolled 3 years ago, DH was a solid stage 4 with some stage 5 starting and they required him to have a P(ersonal) C(are) A(ttendant) to be able to ride the GoBus because he can't set up a ride, verify that he's got the right bus if there are more than one at the site; can't find his way to the actual part of the building he's going to, can't call to check if the bus is late; etc. Now, 3 years later he's is showing some degree of all of stage 6 and they want this Evaluation. Similar situation because of physical symptoms for me, with a slowly progressive nbeuro-muscular disease. I couldn't climb 3 12" steps with or without railings then and still can't. Forget walking a block or 2 to the actual destination, from the fixed Bus stop. And back again?
I'm going to ask who is administering the Evals. and also ask when they want to set up our transpo to and from them. Soc. Sec. pays for the Dr. appts they want and the transpo for them. I think the Bus System should do the same. Either way, we'll do them, because we need the service. It's just plain crazy.
We just got back from a trip to Michigan for a week. Took DH to see his ailing father. The first day we were with 2 of his sisters, even I couldn't see a thing wrong with DH. The second day, one sister asked to talk to me out in the yard away from DH. The first thing I said to her was.....I know that based on his behavior and conversation yesterday, you think he is perfectly fine and not a thing wrong with him. She said no, I saw little things. That amazed me. They hadn't seen him for a year. He can put on a show that you would not believe, so I know exactly what you mean. On the way back from Michigan, at a Holiday Inn Express continental breakfast, he asked if I wanted him to get our silverware (plastic, LOL) and take it to the table. I said that would be nice, while I waited for the toast to pop up. He got ONE FORK and put it on the table. I guess we were supposed to share the fork and also butter our toast with it. That's one small example. How do they do it, I wonder?
Carol, I cannot believe thay want to evaluate you again. Why.? Do they not understand that you and your DH are not getting better. DH should (' ') be worse at this point (although you can't always count on that, can you? It's just stupid, once it's done to have to do it again, for the same service. AAARGGG