Thanks, Jane, that was my thought as well. Our money's in Fidelity, it's chugging along as usual in very conservative vehicles, and Fidelity has annuities too.
Jane, all of our income is "HIS". I have no pension aside from a $1000/mo. Social Security check. He was an executive with DuPont and his retirement is from that employment. Of course, after he dies, I'll get it in my name, but that's not the way it is now. I have LTC insurance, ...but he refused to buy it..saying 'people like him would never need it'. Then came the dementia, and unbeknownst to ME or anyone, he began making bad investments, transferring safe investments into commodity accounts, and then came the market bust. Lots of his money was invested in banking groups. I married him 18 years ago, and the stock investments were in his name. I was not privvy to the specifics of his account, (that's the way he was!)...and he'd simply assure me that we would never have anything to worry about......... That fairy tale did not end "happily ever after".
My husband used to be an Insurance Agent and if I remember correctly the writing agent gets a big percentage comission from the initial payment. Insurance Agents are going to recommend an annuity. My husband took a Life Insurance cash buildup in one of his policies and transferred it to an annuity (there are several kinds) a few years ago and if we cash it in before 8 or 10 years we have a penalty. I am sticking with Vanguard and no more annuities. I really don't understand them.
Nancy B, If I can explain what I am trying to with this, it is hard when trying to type and not talking to a person. I understand what you are meaning. I guess what I am trying to say is that when a person is needing to be placed into a NH because of this horrible illness, (sometimes we don't have a choice) when that happens and they HAVE to be placed, then the Miller Trust is a way to qualify them.
I could be incorrect about this but I am almost sure even with the Miller Trust they still allow the spouse at home a certain amount of the income and of course the assets, that is where your Attorney would come in. You would not be left without income however it would probably be no more than $21,000 + per year. It is not a good option but none of it is.
To all the above, There seems to be adequate financial advice by all responders. However, once you have taken care of those matters, there remains the problem of getting the patient to go to the facility. As moderator of one of our local caregiver support groups, I have found this to be almodst as difficult as getting the patient to stop driving, male patients especially! What has worked for us on many occasions is to introduce the patient to the facility as visitors. Arrange for a tour of the facility for you and the patient. A week or two later, visit again and try to make the visit an enjoyable experience. This will probably require some creativity eg. if the facility has a dining facility arrange to have a meal there. After several visits, keeping in mind the requirement to make it pleasent, the patient is likely to think of the facility as a second home!Try to get involved with any of the facility's activities during each visit. When the time comes, visit once again and suggest that the patient stay overnight. This can be tricky, and may require you to stay with them so that they will feel comfortable. Downside, you may have to sleep in a chair or worse! This has worked for three members of our support group, sometimes with some modifications. BTW, I am a member of the male race and I hope i'm not intruding : ) . Richard
I cannot recommend to everyone enough to GET A GOOD ELDERCARE ATTORNEY. The amount you will pay them will FAR outweigh what they can do to help you pay for longterm care for your spouse, protect your assets, etc. I was fortunate enough to have a great financial advisor who got me hooked up with an Eldercare Attorney (make sure they specialize in Eldercare and Medicaid - not just someone who does trusts, wills, etc.) right after my DH was diagnosed and we have been working on a plan since. We now will probably apply for Medicaid after the first of the year and I definitely feel so much better knowing that I am going to have money for MY retirement still left, that I am going to stay in my home, that I am not going to have to throw all of our hard earned money away to a care facility or keep my DH at home when I can't care for him, but can't afford a care facility. PLEASE, PLEASE... there are people out there who can help.
What a difference a year makes. I read back through my original post and all the comments. I totally agree with Shannon, a good elder care attorney is critical. About a year ago, I refinanced my house (my husband turned over his interest in it to me) and I was able to adjust finances so that 100% of his 401K, pension and social security go to his care. Ultimately, I placed my husband in assisted living in December 2009. I hit my breaking point. He is getting the 24x7 hour care he needs and I began my journey to get healthy again. I'm not 100% there yet. I feel very blessed that I am able to pay for his care. I don't know where I would be today if I hadn't. I do need to see the elder care attorney again so that I can protect my assets. At the time, I wasn't able to pull my 401K money out. I'm not able to at this time but I do want to protect it for my retirement.