It has been a tough few weeks, the hardest has been the loss of so many people I have come to love at the nursing home. I am told over and over, its just the flu...
It has taken everything I have to keep my head about me and not remove Lynn from the nursing home. I caught it too and have been home sick for two days. Reason tells me Lynn would be exposed to more illness at home than in the sterile nursing home environment... but panic sets in at seeing so many people die.
Lynn had the fever and does have a cough, but so far, no pneumonia. I went in extra to keep him hydrated and to help keep his fever down. Luckily, he still stays mostly in his room, so he isn't being cross infected by the other residents. His fever did break and they were able to give him his flu shot 2 nights ago. Then I got sick and I just don’t dare go in and chance re-infecting him! I used their purell soap they assured me kills all germs on contact, but I still got sick. Maybe it is a different flu the kids brought home? Not sure....
3 days ago, the resident I loved the most was put on ventilation. I knew then he wouldn't make it. I was so distraught I couldn't stop crying. I see him every single day, he was Lynn's first room mate and I just love him to pieces. He loves it when I call him Donald Darling.... He was fine just 5 days ago! So hard to wrap my head around. I was crying so hard, his wife came over to comfort ME! We have become close, she is so sweet, such a strong wonderful woman.
Most families are not treating their loved ones. This flu tends to lead to pneumonia, and as we all know, if left untreated the patient dies. Donald also had CHF, she said she couldn't see making him suffer through a treatment he couldn't survive. So strong! I know I will not be so strong.....
They tell me this happens everywhere, a flu can kill many in a nursing home. Their tired frail bodies just can't fight the virus. I am worried for the other residents I have come to care for... I am scared to death for Lynn....and I feel so helpless!!
Nikki there is flu in Bill's facility, too. Every resident is on Tamaflu. Several have been hospitalized. Ironically it showed up the day vaccinations were to have begun. Bill is ok so far. Isn't it strange that we hope for the end of their suffering but panic when it comes close.
bluedaze you said it well. I went round and round on whether to even give my DH the flu shot or not. It was a very difficult decision as I have him on comfort care only. In the end, I did decide to give him the shot. If it is his time, then something will happen and he will go.
Nikki - it is surprising which ones are most affected by an illness. Some of the ones that seem the most frail don't get sick at all and others that seem healthy get sick and die. You have been blessed to be able to enjoy them even if only for a short while. There are always those that seem to pull your heartstrings more than others.
I have heard the horror stories of people who would not let their loved ones go and kept requesting medical services for their person when their person was in pain and totally uncomfortable. My prayer is that I be strong enough to let him go when the time comes. Life as he is currently living it is not his definition of life.