Hello to Gaemok and others. Iam new here but not really! I have been reading and lurking and gathering information and inspiration from this site (thank you Joan, I feel I know you and Sid) for over three years. I have cried along with you all but Gaemok's story really resounded for me. I have been caring for my DH, diagnosed 3 1/2 years ago with MCI, probable Alz. Last October (2008) I needed to bring my mother in to live with us as she was having trouble with activites of daily living and was diagnosed AD in December 2008. Needless to tell you, the situation of two people home alone together with dementia was disastrous, and I am still working full time. We also have a 17 year old son still at home in high school.. I put my mother into independent assisted living last December but I was told in October that they could no longer provide a safe plan of service for her. Just this past week, I placed her in a Clare Bridge facility near where I live and I have been going through the incredible guilt and sadness that I hear from Gaemok. Also, I know that at some point in the far future I will go through the same situation of placing my DH. Thank you Gaemok for sharing your story. Thanks to all of you for always being here. I have wanted to join for a long time but REALLY don't have much time to spare. I am hoping to participate a bit now. I see many new people on the site recently and need to take the leap and start posting. I'd also REALLY like to go on that cruise that Joan has been talking about but not a realistic goal at this time. Everyone's comment about lonliness and isolation, etc, etc, are so true.....
Between Imohr's husband's imminent death and, now, reading Gaemok's story, makes me very frightened at the thought of what I might have to do someday. At the same time, it helps me understand all the stages I will be going through in the coming years and I appreciate that so much. My prayers are with you, Gaemwok. Thank you for being so brave in outlining the history of your and your DH's journey. It helps so much. I will continue to look forward to your story in the coming months.
Isa, welcome to the website. If you've been reading so long, you already know what a wealth of information and comfort is to be found here. Now perhaps you will find the added comfort of participating and sharing your thoughts and problems with us. I hope you will continue to post here.
Please could someone give me some advice. My husband is 59 with AD. I work 3 days a week and up to this point he has been staying by himself. What do I do when I now feel he needs someone to be with him when I work. I can't seem to get family involved, all our friends work, and I can't afford to hire someone or daycare. I have to work and can not stay home. I am very concerned with the cold weather coming. Today he came outside with a tee shirt on and he told me he spent most of the afternoon outside with the dog. I call him several times a day when I am at work, but now I really worry!
If daycare isn't available can you afford to have someone come for a couple of hours and do a little light cleaning and check on him and make his lunch those three days a week? Depending on your area you might find someone for $8 to $10 per hour.