Please log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com- and read the weekend blog about the Feb. 2010 cruise. We want as many of you as possible to join us. We have RESPITE AND FUN planned for us caregivers who need a break.
Personally I would like to see one of these leave from the "central coast" -- Texas. Could you propose such to Patrick for the future? Seems like it would be easier for most to reach a central point for take off rather than the far east or west coasts, not to mention it would be a really, really, easy trip for me <grin>.
Joan, as usual, I love your blog. I love the pictures. A bright moment. The cruise sounds wonderful. Sure wish I would come. I couldn't leave DH at this stage. Maybe next year!
Mary and I have paid our deposits. We will be sharing accommodations. I can't think of a more upbeat person to be with! I am really looking forward to seeing familiar faces and making new friends.
Thank you, Dee! I'm so excited about this cruise and seeing you again! - just us without our spouses (spice) this time. Maybe I can relax! I am looking forward to seeing you and Joan again - Wishing the others who came last year with us would come this year too. Nancy is coming this year, and a couple of others have said that they want to, but don't know if they can as yet.
None of the gentlemen have shown any interest....I wonder why.....
Weejun, I found a flight for only $416, so maybe you can too...
Weejun made a good point. Galveston is a very central location and the two airports have shuttle buses to Galveston's cruise terminal about 90 minutes away. The Florida departure point requires us to stay the night before in a Miami hotel...which, incidentally, can be pricey.
The same cruise line, Royal Caribbean, sails out of Galveston and goes to the same ports, Key West, Cozumel, Grand Cayman, etc.
OK, I need some advise. Lord knows how much I need to go on this cruise, my therapist has practically prescribed it, I can even come up with the money if I save the stipend I am getting as a foster parent to my grandson. However, MY MOTHER will not give in and "give me her blessing". Now at 53 flippin years old I should just be able to GO. I've got my son's girlfriend who will stay the week and help with the boys, dog and cats. Yes, we are in debt up to our *&%$#@ but what good is it if I lose my sanity. I feel as though I have NOTHING to look forward to. I need to get away from here and everyone who is here. I need to be among all of you. I feel so lost, so weak, so empty, adding some joy of anticipation would be amazing. Do I just book the cruise and say bring on the argument, or give in and be miserable. Sure I should pay bills. Jim could be gone by next year. I would then be a caregiver to ONLY Mom, and the boys, ya only. Please if anyone has any advise on how to put this to her I really need the help. I hate arguing, she is so good to me in other ways, she just doesn't understand the pain I am in. I'm tired of trying to explain it to her. She is not one of us, she doesn't get it.
Susan, do you have anyone who can approach your mom in your behalf and explain to her that you need to get away - or else! They can tell her that you MUST get totally away from all happenings or you'll be the 'next to go'.
OR: Work on fiblets. We can tell our Mom's Fiblets, too, can't we? Tell her someone on the Alzheimer's Site paid for your trip or most of the trip, anonymously.. and you'd be nuts not to take it...and will go nuts if you don't take it. (that's supposed to come out funny...)
Stash the money away a little at a time and GO. Together, we'll make it work once you get there. We're here for you..and agree it would do you a world of good.
Aw...Nancy, fiblets are not going to work on us mommas. Ask my children who believe that I have built in radar on their behaviors. Susan, sometimes we mothers need a little time to think things through until we honestly believe it is our idea. She loves you and will want what's best for you. Now, somebody convince me that I could pull off planning a cruise.
Would love to meet you. The "planning" is in seeing that your spouse is taken care of. That's the challenge for all caregivers, and why they do not get away for their own respite too often. If that challenge is met, the rest is easy. A few pair of shorts (or Capri's in my case - I NEVER wear shorts), a few casual tops, a bathing suit, hat, sunblock, a nice pair of black slacks, and a few different fancy tops to go with them. A pair of sneakers. A couple of pair of sandals. And a desire for fun and camaraderie.
Susan and Weejun and Bama, please join us! Where there is a will, there is a way!
Susan, tell your mother that your need to get away is as important as anything else right now, and though she might not approve, she should give you her support with a smile, because she loves you! <grin>
I want as many of you as can to come and get some respite with us!! When we get back home, we can look at our situations with a clearer head, and be ready to accept what can't be changed, and change what we can. Those of you who have spouses (spice) in homes or nursing homes, please come too. You are still caregivers! And those who have lost your spice, come as well. Getting away from home and with friends can help you too!
You all can even laugh at me in my swimsuit! <grin>
I'd love to go, but how do you do it when your husband is still convinced he's totally capable of doing everything on his own. He would never accept having someone here with him or being here alone without being able to drive. I'm not sure how I could manage it.
Make the arrangements and JUST COME WITH US. I learned that they are exactly like the kids when we left them with babysitters. They'd beg, cry, and make a scene, until we were out of sight, then everything goes along just fine. We don't let them make final decisions....on anything anymore. We cannot afford to.
I know, Nancy, but he really is pretty good most of the time. He doesn't need someone to be with him all the time. The driving, however, is an issue. We'll see.
I understand some of the people on the cruise DO bring their husbands. They can wait in the room, take a nap, etc, during a meeting..and most of the trip is just getting together and talking..making new friends. That's another option.
Does anyone know the cost of the cruise, I haven't had time to call Patrick. Great News, my best friend from High School, who lives 3 hrs north of me here in Maine, wants to be my room mate! Her Dad has Alz. and she cares for her Mom as well. I'm very excited to be able to introduce her to all of you and to spend 5 whole days with her!
Well, my goodness, I didn't realize the link was so long. If that doesn't work, just go to the Celebrity website and type in Caribbean, February 2010, Ship -Century - leave from Miami.
I just looked at the website Joan gave. I've never been on a cruise before, and I have some questions for those of you who went last year. It says you have to sign up for shore and land excursions before the cruise. Is that really true? How do we know what others will want to do? Also, can you get off the boat without signing up for a particular excursion. Some of them are fairly expensive. It also talks about making on-board meal reservations before boarding. Did you do that? Or are there places you can eat without reservations? And, it says tips are added to the bill. One thing I'm wondering is how much the whole thing ended up costing in addition to the cost they give.
I think that I remember you all stayed at the same hotel the night before the ship left. Is that right? Are there plans to do that this year?
Another question - can you buy cancellation insurance through Patrick? I'll ask him that, when I decide what I'm doing.
Don't worry about the shore excursions. I would definitely NOT sign up before you go. You can sign up on the ship, and some of them are very expensive and not worth it. Those who have been before will fill you in on where to go when we meet. Yes, you can get off the ship and do whatever you want on land. The shops at Key West are within walking distance of the ship. I especially liked the trolley tour of Key West, but it's a great walking town.
There are two meal seatings. 6 o'clock and 8 o'clock. I always do the 6 o'clock seating, and Patrick will seat the Alz. spouse people together.
The fact is that cruises always end up costing more than is quoted. The quotes are usually without the fees and taxes, which are standard government and cruise line additions. The literature from Patrick should tell about the fees and taxes.
Yes, I am 99.9% positive you can buy insurance.
I don't know about the hotel, because I am lucky enough to live 2 hours driving distance to Miami, so we've always gotten a car service to drive us to the Port of Miami and drop us off at the ship.
I would love to go but have two problems: 1) my DH loves cruises and would want to go also - unless I make up a fiblet about where I am going - and 2) I have no idea how I would find a caregiver for one week - family members are not available and I don't know of anyone who would/could care for him for one week. Any suggestions??????
So it looks like Key West and Grand Caymans are the ports.. Hmmm. We'd fly down on Monday, leave that evening, arrive back on Saturday early and fly out that day. Possibly do-able! I confess, I dreamed about it last night! That is always the WORST time of year around here, and if I can't get away to SEAsia, where I've been several times in Feb, this might work.
In the past, Patrick allowed the caregivers to bring their spouses with early dementia on the cruises, but he has since changed his policy. The cruises are for caregivers to get some respite for themselves, and not only were the caregivers stressed and worried about their spouses who accompanied them, but there were too many liability issues for Patrick and his company.
In what stage of functioning is your husbadnd? That information would help us give suggestions as to respite for him, if you decide you want to go on the cruise.
Janet, I would not book the tours in advance unless there was a tour at Grand Cayman that you just had to be on. Most of the time you can book while on board. I don't plan on going on any tours this time - just explore the towns - they are right at the docks and a few blocks of strolling and shopping are fun. We got a taxi to tour the Hemingway House, because I was a fan and also wanted to see the five toed cats who live there. It didn't cost much (only a few blocks, but my husband was with us and in a wheelchair) and I loved seeing the place. As Joan said, there is a trolley ride for seeing all of the city of Key West.
We come and go as we please. There was one caregiver session each day, and you could attend or not, at your discretion. We all got to know each other better at these sessions, and learned some ways to relax and lessen the stress - which is the purpose of the cruise. There is an exercise room, massages, hot tub, excellent food, and FUN!
Clare, I would fly down the night before, simply because if your flight was cancelled, and you were late, you would miss the ship. That is why we are going the night before. I'll send you an e-mail of the hotel that I'm staying in. We have free shuttle to the ship the next day. Nancy and I are staying at the same hotel, so we're going to have a celebration dinner that evening to launch our respite! The Florida ladies drive down on the sail date. We'll join up at dinner that evening, if we don't see each other earlier on board.
I hope that you can find relatives who are willing to help you by staying with your husbands/wives so that you can get the respite we all need. And meet each other too!
I agree with NOT booking those expensive 'shore excursions', unless you simply want to. We have different tastes, and were not interested in 'scuba/snorkeling", and the tours. We stroll aroun the shops and find a neat place for lunch and return to the ship. Hint: Never a crowd on the ship on port days and it's really easy to get services on the ship that day.
I've always thought the ship was my destination and loved just being THERE.
I am staying the night before at the Hilton at the airport. They have a shuttle to the port in one of their overnight deals...along with the buffet breakfast. I've always been told that when you fly to your cruise port, don't trust the airline to arrive on time...and it's much less stressful to arrive the night before...but at the same time, the hotels cost as much as the cruise itself...in come cases. I may change hotels if I can find one for less than $300.00 a night.
Joang, my DH is in stage 4 to 5, as far as I can tell. He is independent in caring for himself. I can and do leave him for a few hours at a time on most days and he is okay. There is NO way that I could or would leave him overnight by himself.
former soulmate....I agree with you. I was considering going on the cruise with my DH. I was disappointed when I learned that he would not be welcomed on this cruise, so I will not be going. I know even as recent as the last cruise, LO's were welcomed as even Joang took Sid, but I guess this is no longer the case. Too bad.....I'm going to try and find something I can do with him where he would be welcomed. I would think it would be up to me to decide how much I wanted to bite off. I hope you all have a wonderful time, and I look forward to seeing the pictures and hearing the great stories of the cruise. Have a blast! I'll be with you in spirit.
Diane, my DH is probably in stage 5 or 6 but as long as he can still enjoy a cruise, we'll keep going. We are lucky that we live in Florida so we don't have to deal with air flights. I have been getting a table for two as he can't really carry on or follow a conversation. I also have to cut up his meat and tell him which utensil to use. We go by ourselves and do what we want and when we want.
I'm a bit concerned about the cost of airfare being that it is February School Vacation Week, so I may have to wait until September and go on the Alaskan Cruise. Not sure yet. Funny how a cross country flight can be cheaper than a flight to Florida. I'd love to do both, but may be pushing it, lol, we'll see.
Susan, sometimes if you fly on Sunday, it is cheaper than on Monday. In this case, Saturday might be cheaper. I don't know where you live, but right now, both American and SW Airlines have sales going on, plus the cruise ship will get you a flight and sometimes for less than you can. You might want to check those sources before making a decision...plus, we still have a few months. Who knows, the prices may go down! I'm looking forward to seeing you!
Diane, Patrick had events for the spouses while we were at our meetings. I think that is what Joan meant. If your husband can still stay by himself safely, you two could go and you meet with us while he relaxed by the pool, or in the room, or in the library, etc.
Carolyn, my husband couldn't talk and we sat with the group, and I cut up his meat for him. No one thought anything of it, nor considered it out of the ordinary. We didn't isolate ourselves, and didn't feel out of place. All he concentrated on was eating, which was fine with us. He had a good time! <grin> If you are more comfortable alone, then that is another matter. We're all in the same boat and understand. We all have to do what we have to do....and still try to enjoy life to the fullest.
If you book a cruise with any cruise line for just you and your husband, yes, I guess it is up to you "how much you want to bite off."
But in the case of the Caregiver Cruises, there is a huge legal liability issue for Patrick. He is legally responsible for any and all problems, incidents, or accidents that may occur with or because of, the AD person. Therefore, after much stress on his part, he has made the decision to keep it as a "Caregiver" cruise. On this cruise, there will be no respite or activities for spouses with AD - it is strictly a caregiver cruise. At least that was the decsion as of the last time I spoke to him a few weeks ago. I will call him again to clarify, but that is what he told me.
I hadn't given this a thought as Lynn wasn't eating well and I felt I HAD to be with him every day. Now though he is doing very well at the nursing home. Due to the flu "epidemic" there they asked I not go in even with a mask and gloves on if I had a fever. I did, and wasn't able to go in for 3 days!
I was so afraid for him, but when I went in on the 4th day it was to find him dressed sitting up in bed eating his lunch on his own!! He has finally truly settled in, and the megace continues to stimulate his appetite. So I am thinking, maybe, just maybe I could go.
Now I just need to figure out if I can swing it financially. The airfare is a doozy. Added to the price of the cruise and the fact that Christmas taps me out, I'm not sure. But will give it some more thought. Do any of you go on the Alaska cruise? Was just thinking it would give me more time to plan ahead for.
Joan, it's obvious that the entire ship isn't devoted to caregivers! Could people book on the same cruise but not be part of Patrick's group? (not I! but others)
When I talked with Patrick (who, by the way, is delightful!), he explained that there is a very, very, small fee added on to the fare to cover administrative costs for special materials, and one Speaker I believe. (sadly, not $$ for our Joan)- I think it was about $35 pp.
I understand Patrick's position..as well as Joan's.
Seems like the "caregiver cruise" portion wouldn't be sufficient to fill the entire ship. I would think if you wanted to take this particular cruise to meet friends from this site you could just book through the cruise line itself and not through Patrick. Don't know for certain, just my opinion.
Nikki, I hope you can go on the cruise. It would be great for you. Yes, those of you who live in Florida have the great advantage of not having to take a flight first. That is a big expense and also hassle. But I could do it. I can't swing it this year yet. Nothing in place for DH. But in the course of the next year I want to get him into some type of daycare; if I can get him to accept it even a couple days a week, then gradually he might be able to stay for longer respite times. I have already taken the step of sending in forms for a subsidized program. After all the encouragement on this site.
Okay, I never post here anymore, but I do read regularly because there is some great information here. Like the "okay guys lets talk": thread. GREAT information that I probably couldn't get anywhere else. I never go on anyone's personal story thread, that's not why I come. One of the reasons I don't post anymore is something that happened on this thread. Why is it that if anybody even remotely makes a swipe at the admin, he/she is publicly chastised. Every one is entitled to their opinion, right? It's embarrassing to me, the reader, I can only imagine what it's like for the intended.
Look at the posts above yours - anyone can book that cruise through Celebrity. Patrick books as a "group" and has group activities that we do together. When we were on the ship the last time, there were other groups there also. The rest of the ship was just people who had booked the cruise. All cruises are that way. There are groups and then there's everyone else.
Weight Watchers books groups on cruises. So does Richard Simmons. Not something I would want to do, but all kinds of groups go on cruises. Patrick does "scrapbooking" cruises that are very popular. Many years ago, when Sid worked for Radio Shack, he used to win cruises all of the time. Radio Shack booked a "group" for all the winners, and we hung out together. It was a huge group - at least 100.