My DH had rapidly gone down hill - not sleeping at night - wandering the house, then falling. Each time he falls, I have to call EMTs because he can't get up. Lot more cussing, talking gibberish, etc etc. So on Friday I had our caregiver come, so I could go with friends to a botanical garden. I got a phone call driving home. They couldn't get him out of his chair and he was really irrational. At the ER, they gave him Atavon and Haldol, so they could calm him enough for Xrays. He said it hurts, but we couldn't tell where. The end result was Urinary Tract Infection. I was so glad!! At least that can be fixed. He has been sleeping for 20 hours now, so we will see what stage he is at after we cure the UTI. Nancy
I'm glad they found the problem, Nancy. Once it's cleared up he could be right back to where he was.
Is your husband on ativan at home? Mine was on it and he was forever trying to get out of bed only to end up on the floor. Since stopping it he had a little more balance. I know when he falls it is really difficult getting him up, expecially if he is tired or half asleep. There have been a few nights where I let him sleep on the mat next to his bed. Just gave him a blanket and pillow. Then He was able to assist in getting up the next morning. At least I knew he wasn't going to fall again.
I'm not saying he can walk because he can't but it's better. He wakes up during the night also but I have a lock on his bedroom door so he can't get out of his room at night. It makes me a little more comfortable knowing he isn't roaming the house.
My DH has gone down hill since april 6 he too got in the floor and I had to call 911 to get him up.Then to the ER and pneumonia, he is not taking fluids and sleeps constantly since April 9.He had a living will so no feeding tube.Its only a matter of time.For those of you that pray please remember me,especially that I can be strong. GOD BLESS
Joyce, I'm so glad to hear that you let him sleep on the floor. I did that on New Year's eve, because I didn't want to bother the neighbors, until morning. At that time, I didn't think I should call 911. Since then, I call 911 and they say they are happy to help. The doctor says that Gale has a lot of apraxia. I looked that up and it is that the brain doesn't connect to the nerves and muscles. If I tell Gale to move his legs, he will say OK, but nothing happens. It is a real project getting him dressed or changing his pants if he wets them. He was prescribed the ativan, if he gets violent again. He is regularly on 150 mg zoloft. Nelliejane, I will include you both in my prayers. We don't know the end time for any of us. I know it must be very difficult. The doctor at the ER asked my thoughts if they had to release him from the hospital and I couldn't handle him. I had given that some thought for the future, but certainly not so soon. I was able to take him home, but it is very difficult moving him myself. Do take care of yourself. Nancy
My husband behaved the same way at the end of his journey with ALZ, I had hospice help at home and in their hospice house. They will come and stay around the clock if you need them, that is if you want to keep your DH at home. They are wonderful. My husband was on Medicare and it didn't cost anything. Medicare paid everything, not his HMO. I will pray for you and your husband.
joyce, because you have had the experience, at what point do you try to bring in Hospice for dementia? I know that my husband is way too early for any help of any kind from any agency, but I also know what the future will bring. If someone is getting into the habit of calling the paramedics for help in getting someone who has fallen up off the floor, is it time to call for something more permanent? Is that the trigger? Or are there other triggers?
Yes, that is when I called hospice. My DH was getting up at night and either falling or just dropping to the floor in the middle of the night and undressing himself. I wouldn't hear him and would find him when I awoke in the morning. I never knew how long he had been there, luckily he never hurt himself. But he couldn't get himself up at all and he never called out for me. I knew I he had to be where someone could watch him better than I could at that point. I was so tired and emotionally drained and had to finally give up trying to be there for him till the end. When he did go to hospice house, I was so sad at first. but each day I started feeling so "well" and only then did I realize that the disease was killing me also. I knew he loved me too much for me to keep trying to take care of him when there was others that could do it and I could then take care of myself. When he was at home I was so tired that it was an effort to sit with him and hold his hand, when I really needed the rest. When he went to hospice and I was able to sleep at night, and not have too worry so much about his care, I had wonderful visits with him and I started feeling close to him again, even though he was in a coma-like state, he slept all day and night. That was the gift I got from hospice, I was not too tired to feel the "love" between us again before he passed away, instead of the overwhelming responsible of taking care of him. I hope this helps, Joyce
Starling, I forgot to say that I wish I had called hospice sooner. I thought I should wait till he was close to death before calling, boy was I wrong. Call them now and talk to them about how they can help you now and in the future. You might need a note from the doctor with his diagnosis before they can actually start helping you , but just call Hospice for your area and have someone come over to talk with you or you can go to them to have the conversation. Joyce
Starling, I don't know what stage your husband is but according to hospice, most people wait way longer than they should before calling hospice in. We have had the help of hospice for four weeks and they are a great help. We have a nurse, an aide, a social worker and a volunteer. The volunteer comes twice a week so I can get out for 3-4 hours. I also took advantage of their 5 day respite. After just 5 days I feel I can go on a little longer. I came back and find I am much more patient and feel so much more rested.
Hospice has provided us with a hospital bed, commode, shower chair, wheel chair, hoyer lift and a geriatric chair, along with medicines, diapers, wipes and rubber gloves. All these things have made it so much easier for me to care for Bill. Don't think you have to wait until the very end to call them.
Bill's doctor said I waited way longer than I needed before asking for help. If he hadn't taken it upon himself to call hospice, I would probably still be struggling on my own.
My adult children saw what was happening to me as my DH CG and kept saying, 'Please, Mom, we don't want to lose you to the same disease.' Somehow most of us don't really see what is happening to ourselves and we think more about our LO, what stage, what behaviors, how long, etc. I wish more CG's understood that hospice or a facility is not really for the AD patient who will progress no matter where he is or who takes care of him, and often enough will get better care w/hospice or a facility than one of us being exhausted from the 24/7 of it until we are ready to drop--this care by others is really to save the caregiver. It's a hard concept to embrace, but I know in my case either I placed him or it was only a matter of a short time until I would have had to be placed. Most of us have no training for this, no time off, always on the alert, doing this & doing that day after day on an emotional merry-go-round, and growing older w/our own medical problems--which only worsen under the strain. Yes, the doc said I waited too long, too, more than most. It's hard to give up, but please, consider your own well-being, it's as important and valuable as that of your LO.
I had to place my husband when safety became an issue. He was wandering around the neighborhood with a knife to "protect himself". Hospice is taking care of him in the ALF. With Hospice he will not have to be moved into a nursing home. They are a Godsend to us both.
Thank you for your comments and advice. My husband really isn't at the point where any agency would give me help, but I'm going to ask his doctor about some kind of day program so he will get some stimulation and see some people other than me. That will also allow me some time to recharge myself.
My own triggers for needing immediate help are violence of any kind and wandering or sundowning. I know at those points, which he is nowhere near at this time, I won't be able to handle him alone. I've already realized that I'm not going to be putting special locks on my doors because it just plain isn't safe to go to sleep with a door that has a key lock where you have hidden the key. I've already decided that at the point where I have to lock us in, it is time for someone else to give me other options.
One of the gifts this forum gives you is information about when it is time to stop trying to do everything yourself. And what else is out there to help you. I thank everyone who has been open about what is going on in their lives for being so honest.
My DH did the sundowning and the wandering, he still wanders at night more than during the day. He kept me awake or woke me up countless times during the night untill I thought I just can handle another night like this anymore. Well it stopped and I am so grateful that I can sleep again. He doesn't know who I am most of the time, but he knows I'm someone he can trust and count on to help him. I finaly got aproved by the VA for some respite. Six hours a month, someone comes to the home and stays with him. I don't know how he will react to having someone else here, when I'm not present. I tried day care with him, but that didn't work. He was just misrable and made all the other patients upset. So in home was my only hope to get some relieve. I know this is a hard road for all of us, but we are human and can only do so much. You all have a blessed day today
Regarding wandering and leaving the house - I installed an alarm on our door that goes off if the door is opened. The one I have can either be 2 pleasant rings (I use this at present) or a continuous loud, obnoxious ring that would wake you up. So far my wife has tried to leave only once and when the alarm went off she closed the door and came back into the living room.
Regarding hospice - there seem to be three different versions: a hospice residential facility, hospice care in ALF, and hospice care in the home. I hope to be able to keep my wife home with hospice care when that becomes necessary, but I'll have to wait to see how she is doing at that time. There is a day care center near us that will be opening on June 2 and I plan to use that probably one day a week so I don't have to take her with me for some of my volunteer work. Fortunately, I am not having to deal with rage or violence. I can't imagine how you all are dealing with that. It must be really hard. You are saints for keeping in there.
I recently placed my husband at our Hospice House for three days so I could get some rest. He has terminal cancer as well as AD. But it was more stressful than having him at home. This particular Hospice House is not capable of taking care of anyone with AD. They called me every time he became agitated. Finally I gave them permission to give him a small dose of a drug to calm him down but it took two days for it to wear off. I imagine it wasn't a small dose. The Hospice doctor called me to tell me my husband was nowhere near terminal. He did not even know my husband is in the last stages of cancer. He did not know my husband has lost 40 lbs. since last fall. I will not use our Hospice House again unless my husband becomes bedridden or unconscious. I wish we had a Hospice Alzheimer's facility. Day care would not work for us. Our local day care facility has only patients who are unable to do anything but sit unresponsive in a wheelchair with their heads hung down. My husband still has pride. Hospice has not offered to stay here at the house with him. I think we must be at an in between stage. Too sick for one place and not sick enough for another.
Bebe - You seem the type that thinks of everything, so maybe this doesn't work with your Hospice. When we used it for my spouse with Multiple Myeloma they had a service where you could request a volunteer to come and just be there. That way you can take a nap, do whatever you want for a few hours while someone else sits with your husband. My DH and I volunteered in that way briefly before he was diagnosed with AD and one time took an 8 hour shift (one of three) so the family could have Christmas time with their children (they were caring for a parent). Good luck!
I should have added this to the last comments. I've wondered if there would be a mature high school or college student interested in studying in the medical field who might be hired for a few hours? You probably would have to be in the house or having a cell phone so you could be contacted, but this would be a wonderful way for young people to see if this is a career area that might interest them and it should cost less than the professional nursing services.
Carma, how long did it take from the time you applied for VA benefits until you heard from them that they would offer you the respite? I've been told about 6 months from the date I applied.
My husband is okay in the mornings, but this week when I have come home from work, he's been almost in a daze - he can walk, sit, and feed himself, but he has to be shown how to wash his hands, and he just wants to lie down on the couch (he's always sat in his recliner, but after dinner he gets out of the recliner and goes to the couch). I really don't know how much longer I can leave him alone. He hasn't harmed himself or the house, and he doesn't wander, nor has he fallen. His decline has been less than 2 years so far.
Many of you have said that when they started falling, that you got help. Others have spouses with rage issues and had to get help. Neither of these apply to him, so do I just keep on what I'm doing until something else develops?
AFTER READING THESE POSTS ABOUT HOSPICE AND MEDICARE I KNOW I NEED TO ASK SOMEONE,AND I HATE TO,BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD TO EVEN BRING ANYTHING LIKE THIS UP AND MY DH IS NO WHERE NEAR NEEDING ANYTHING LIKE THAT NOW,BUT I NEED TO KNOW, WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT THESE THINGS[AFORDING THEM]WHEN MY DH IS ONLY 52,WITH EOAD? IT SCARES ME TO DEATH TO THINK ABOUT SUCH THINGS,IT SEEMS LIKE THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO US,BUT IT ALSO SCARES ME FINANCIALLY. WE HAVE GOOD HEALTH INSURANCE,THROUGH THE KY. RETIREMENT SYSTEM. WE HAVE NO LONGTERM INSURANCE THAT IS ESPECIALLY FOR LONGTERM CARE,NURSING HOME,HOSPICE? I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT FINANCIALLY. I AM SO AFRAID WE WILL END UP LOSING EVERYTHING,AND HE HAS WORKED AND SWEATED BLOOD TO HAVE WHAT WE HAVE AND TO PASS A LEGACY TO OUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN. IFELL SO GUILTY AND MY HEART ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE IT WILL BURST WHEN I THINK OF THESE KINDS OF THINGS. I CAN'T HELP IT. I JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND CRY,BUT I AM AFRAID I COULDN'T STOP. THIS KIND OF PAIN AND LOSS IS LIKE NO OTHER.
Jav, have you had your husband apply for Social Security Disability benefits? Once approved and he is receiving benefits for two years he will be eligible for Medicare. My husband did that and the two times he had hospice it was totally paid for. Don't be shy about asking questions, some of us have been where you are and we had to ask questions and find our way through the system.
You need to see a good attorney who specializes in elder issues. He or she can advise you the best way to handle your finances now and in the future.
Jav There are many things in place with Medicaid that also protect the spouse at home if you end up having to place your husband. Medicaid is very generous when a spouse is involved. Also rembember, you may not even face the long term problems, your husband is still just as likely to die with other illnesses as anyone else is.
You will not loose your home, if you have to apply for Medicaid to pay for long term care, you will be able to save all your assets, just do not start trying to spend down and give away. Go to an Elder Law Attorney, get a Durable POA, Living Will, and get your paper work in order. Do it now because if your husband progresses the way my husband did and you wait it will be too late.
do i need to see an elder law attorney,even though dh is only 52? i called the social security office about him applying for social security disability and they said he draws to much in retirement [around $2,900.00 per month]. i don't understand this. he has worked so hard,we have bills that have to be paid,we don't have the farm income that we used to have,i guess if we were asking for a free handout and we had never worked,we could get some kind of help.but it looks like we are not going to get it. i get so upset with the people that get disability and don't really even need it. i is wonderful for the people that do need it. i have a sister in law right now, fighting to get disability,she is no more disabled that i am,and i can just about guarantee she will get it. she always talks about how bad she hurts from this thing or that,nobody can have that many things wrong with them and still keep going.but it doesn't stop her from going to town everyday,shopping,going to yardsales and eating out.she knows the system,and gets every handout she can get,she hires an attorney and gets what she wants. i am not mad at her,and i couldn't tell anyone else this,because she would hear about it and not speak to me,but i don't like the way people use the system unjustly,and get by with it, and there are people out there that truly need help.and can't get it.
Jav, you have been given incorrect information about the Social Security disability, it is not means tested, meaning that it has nothing whatsoever to do with the amount of income that your husband is drawing from any source. Social Security disability is just what it says, you worked and paid in to this and what you have does not come in to play here. You have either called and incorrect department thinking that you have called Social Security or you have talked with someone who mis-understood. You need to go to the Social Security office and APPLY for disability for your husband.
Elder law attorneys are not just for "OLD" people, they are a specialty Attorney and thus called Elder Law, due to the fact that older people run into the problems they serve more often than younger folks. You can go to any Attorney you choose but the Elder Law Specialty are more certified to handle things in the event you feel you may have to apply for Medicaid at a later date for long term care.
In any case you must get to an Attorney of your choice now and get the Durable POA, Health Care Power Of Attorney, Living Will and any other document they feel you many need at this time. Do not put this part off.
Jav Jane knows exactly what she is talking about. I can tell you from working with individuals with disabilities for years that what probably happened is that in your conversation with Social Security you were told that your husband made too much to recieve SSI which is not the same as SSA. For people who become disabled and have little to no income... they become eligible for SSI and Medicaid. However your husband is absolutely entitled to SSDI based on the fact that he put money into the system. Even after he gets SSDI there is a two year wait for Medicare. I think you may have confused SSI with SSDI and Meidcaid with Medicare. However you also mentioned I think that you have great health insurance. Nevertheless even with your current income and insurance, go ahead and apply now. It isn't that you need Medicaid now ... It is more about getting things arranged for what ever is ahead....
Also, please understand that right now you are being confronted with soooo much that you are in a panic. I remember feeling exactly like you. I urge you to not let your mind travel down every negative path. None of us really know what the future brings.I think as caregivers we do have to plan for the future but live more in the present.
I would like to offer one suggestion .. Get yourself a notebook or pad and as you speak to people make notes. Always ask who you are speaking to so that if you later get different information you have a name to go back to confirm things.
I can tell you that after getting the paperwork signed with our attorney, I felt an enormous relief . Even now I understand that what I planned for may not be the way things end up for us, and yet I still have some comfort knowing that if the worst happens I have done the best I can planning for my husband.
I'm going to add one more thing. Not only does your DH need the paperwork, so do you. He can't be your patient advocate, so you need to pick someone for yourself, and to back you up if you can't advocate for your husband. Both of you need wills, and since it has come up DPOA for both of you as well naming your choice for yourself to act in your best interest if you can't do that for yourself.
I presented the need for paperwork to my husband earlier this year as something we BOTH needed to do. That made it easier. If you already have a family attorney, go to him or her since they already know a lot of your situation.
I applied for Robert's SS Disability right over their website SSA.gov. That is a great place to get the process started. From start to finish, it took only 1 month to get him approved. You will need to gather his medical records. I made sure I had all information necessary to support the EOAD diagnosis (i.e. PET scan results, cognitive testing, statements from his doctors). His supervisor at work wrote a 4 page letter describing how Robert struggled when he attempted to return to work. And I wrote down my observations of his issues at home - unable to mow the lawn, can't operate the microwave, etc...).
Once you apply, they will send you more forms to fill out. I made sure we turned those around within the day. They sent one for me to fill out and one for Robert to fill out. I sat with Robert and read him the questions. I filled in his answers and had him sign them. I made copies of everything and when I could I would fax or overnight/send return receipt so that I would have documentation of when they received the forms back.
A good elder care attorney will help you do all the financial planning that you need, to be sure you are taken care of in the future, as well as your husband.
You will indeed be very relieved when you've consulted with an attorney, and gotten the paperwork you need in place. It will be a HUGE load off your mind.
I know it's so scary that you want to put it off, but you'll be much happier if you just do it.
Do find a really good attorney, though. Ask for referrals. See if you can find someone certified. Make sure they specialize in this area, and that they have plenty of experience. DON'T use a lawyer who does a little bit of everything. Lawyers are becoming really specialized these days. I was setting up a trust and wanted to work with one who was recommended to me, and her web site said she specialized in trusts and estate planning ... but it turned out she focuses on court aspects, not setting up the paper work in advance. Now, THAT's specialized!
Once you have a short list, ask for consultations -- initial consultations are usually free. Take plenty of notes. Interview them, and find one who is able to explain things so you understand them.
thank you all so much. i can't believe i talked to someone at the social security office about disability[and i did specify social security disability to him] and i was so misinformed by someone that works there. he told me if my husband could draw anything he might get $100.00 per month,but likely would get nothing,based on his income. we do get some other farm income from time to time,not that much anymore,from selling cattle. do i need to have all that information for them also[social security office]?do i turn in income as it comes in? for instance if we sold calves,would i need to contact ss office? i made this call over a yr ago,and have been upset ever since over this.i am so upset right now. i am afraid to believe we might get a break. i have suffered in silence for so long. worring about how we would be able to keep our heads above water,without drowning. i hope and pray this can be accomplished,and he will be able to qualify for medicare for long term care if it is ever needed. his dr. told me over a yr ago he would qualify for disability. i am afraid now that it has been to long and he won't get it. i know they go by when and how much he worked. should i have all his medical records before i go to social security office? thank you all sooo much,but i am so nervous about this,it seems to good to be true that we might get this help.
jav, I will try to answer your questions as best I can. First you need to immediately apply for Social Security Disability for your husband. They go by the date you apply as to the back pay, so the sooner you apply the less benefits you will loose.
Your husband will have to have worked 5 out of the last 10 years before applying in order to qualify. You will be told what to bring when you make your appointment with Social Security. Don't waste time trying to collect the Medical Records, Social Security will have your husband sign a release form and they will collect these records from the Doctor.
He will not qualify if he is now working, if he is working on the farm they will consider this work. They do have what they call a program where they will allow you to work and make a certain amout and not loose the benefits but be on notice that when and if a person is able to do this it is not generally in their favor of keeping the disability. If they are able to work they are able to work.
Once it has been determined that he is disabled and has been disabled for 1 year, after a 5 month wait he will begin to draw his benefits. If he was disabled at the time his Doctor told you that he was and Social Security determines this to be true according to their rules then they will go back to that time. If you sell calves that would be considered work, but do you or does your husband do the actual work involved? If you do the work or if you hire the work done then this will not disqualify him, but if he does the work then they will say he is not disabled because he IS working.
I hope I have helped you to understand this in some small way. If I can help you with any more questions that I might be able to answer just post your question and I wlll try. I am no professional by any means but am informed.
jane, thank you so much, i truly appreciate the information you have given me. our son ,now has to get the calves up and take them to the market. dh tries to help,but he just can't help that much, and i hate to say this, but he is mostly in the way,and our son has to watch him. it is so hard to have to say that, i feel like such a trader to him for talking like this about him. it makes him feel better sometimes to be at the calf lot with our son and go with him to take them to market,but sometimes it just reminds him of what he can't do anymore,and he gets so depressed. the last 2 days have not been great. he has been so depressed and be cries and it just upsets me so, to see him like this. our son took the guns and put them in a gun safe at his house,but i know when he gets like he has been he looks for the pistel, i am so afraid he will kill himself. my heart truly aches for him,as i write this ,my heart aches. if he signs a release,the social security office will get his medical records and i won't need to get them myself? will we need to turn in how much money he gets when calves are sold? we have got to get the heard down to a smaller size. and every thing that is made will have to go towards bills and trying to keep this farm running,as much as we can. our son has to work and he just can't do it all by himself. we can't afford to hire anyone to help us out. i feel so bad trying to get him on disability. but we need help.
Jav, You need to understand that Social Security disability is where you have paid into the system for that protection, it is not welfare, and even if it was welfare if you need it and qualify no one should be ashamed to receive it. The amount of money you receive from the cattle will not matter as to the Social Security disability, you are confusing this with Medicaid or SSI, in fact when your husband applies for Social Security disability you might even qualify for both Social Security disability and SSI, The SSI does consider your income but one thing for sure even with your income if you do not qualify for SSI (Supplemental Security Income) the Social Security is different and does not count your income, it does not matter how much you make. Do not get these two things confused. Yes, the Social Security office will obtain the medical records for you from the Doctors.
Go now and apply, you cannot loose anything by applying and you might just be surprised. It may take a while before he gets his checks, for some people it takes up to two years, others just a matter of a few weeks, just depends on what the Doctors records show. The main thing to remember is that if you get a notice that he has been turned down, do not give up, appeal and appeal again, that is the main thing. Once you stop appealing you start over and loose.
Jav, I meant to say the amount of money you receive from the cattle will not matter as long as your husband is not doing the work to earn the money, in otherwords, if you and your son are the ones running the farm and selling the cattle does not matter how much money is involved as far as the Social Security disability is concerned. They may ask you these questions but it is to see if you also qualify for the SSI
There is a difference between the money you get because you work and the money you get because you have an investment. The Calves are an investment unless your husband actually is working on them, feeding them, etc. If YOU feed the calves, that is YOUR work. If your son takes them to market, that is HIS work. It doesn't matter if your husband is present when either of these are done. If he can't be trusted to feed the calves and/or take them to market alone, it is no longer HIS work.
They will need to know what your income is, but is it HIS income, or YOURS? There is a difference there. Income has nothing to do with Social Security Disability. Either your husband can work, or he can't. The fact that you can work on the farm has nothing to do with his disability. Like you have already been told, it might have something to do with his getting SSI in addition to the Disability benefits.
Gather whatever papers you have and get yourself down to the Social Security office. My neighbor took her drug list with her, and the woman she talked to ended up adding several additional diseases to the list in addition to her Alzheimer's disease, based on the drugs she was taking. Frankly even without the dementia, she can't work because of her other conditions. That might be true for your husband as well.
Jav, Starling is exactly correct in saying that there is a difference in the money you make from work and the money you make from investments, Investment money is not considered with the Social Security Disability, HOWEVER Social Security would most likely look at the sale of the cattle as farm income and not investment income. A working farm would include the sale from items made on the farm.
Just remember that anything that is earned on the farm fromWORK, sale of cattle, etc. if this is earned from you and someone else doing the actual work then you have no worry. It does not sound like your husband would NOT able to work the farm so just be sure that you are taking on this responsibility, either from help you get or whatever other method you can use to keep the farm going.
jane and starling, thank you so much for your help. i hope and pray this works out. i am afraid to get my hopes up too much,but here goes. i will let you all know how things go. i feel that i have a kinship to you all here,you have and are going through the same things that i am going through,emotionally and physically,as well as spiritually. this takes so much out of a person,it is so exhausting emotionally. i stay so tired,i just feel so lazy. i don't feel like doing anything. i have gotten to where i don't even like to go to the grocery. i just hate to leave home anymore.it is just too tireing. do any of you feel that way? i am just not the person i once was,and my husband is not that bad yet, concidering what may lie ahead. bless you all.
I have learned so much from everyone here since I found this forum. There are symptoms I've never seen anywhere else, and my husband has them too. But most of all I've read advice to someone else, and recognized that I needed that advice myself.
And every once in a while something someone says here gets me going and doing something that just plain needs to be done, that I never even thought about before.