I wanted to "surprise" my DH today by giving him the end table that he wanted on his end of the couch, so while he was gone(very rare occasion) I did that, it took rearranging practically the whole living room but I did it. He got home and must not have noticed the difference because when he put his wine and grape juice drink down on the end table he didn't reach the table and spilled the whole thing on the carpet but thankfully the glass didn't break but what a mess!!! I think I got it cleaned up in time before it stained. I used shout pre soak for cloths. My question after all that is, is he having perception problems and if so that sounds like he is getting to the point that he is going to need more constant help? Now I wonder what he is doing when I am not around. I know that I am rambling and really don't even know what I am asking, I guess I just need to talk. I hate this disease. I wish I could take it away from him. I feel terrible. I didn't get upset with him or anything over what happened thank goodnes, that would have made me feel worse.
For a long time, I've wondered the same things..vision? or is it a concept of 'where things are' in space.. edges in particular. I've cleaned up all sorts of spills. Even in the refrigerator when DH puts things back..they are often just barely on the edge of the shelf. Even with the table beside his chair, there are spills because he drinks and puts the glass down ON whatever is on the table or too close to the edge. It may be an issue of recognizing that there ARE other things on the table. Maybe in your case, it was just a different arrangement for that moment. I know that when I'm not around, DH is spilling this or that.. Sometimes he makes an attempt to clean it up. Sometimes he's not aware that anything has spilled and I 'find' it later.
For my DH it seems that he has a tendency to think things are CLOSER than they are. So he sits further from the table.. Wants to stop at a stoplight BEFORE actually getting to the stopping place etc. Not sure that makes much sense..but yesseriee.. things are spillin around here too..
Judy--If your husband is having visual perception problems, do you think it is still safe for him to drive? Sometimes we have to make split-second decisions while driving, even thinking things are closer than they are, might that cause him to swerve or do something else that is unsafe?
Oh no,marilyninMD, he's not driving on the roads any more. I made that comment because before he started sitting too FAR from the table..and much earlier..I noticed this about his driving.. He surrendered his license involuntarily after a long long..too long effort to get him to stop. It took over a year of passing driving tests and appealing to everyone in the world nearly..that he was a danger to himself and others on the road. Finally.. He was ordered by a judge to hand over the license. It seems .though. that because he has this spatial,perceptual,'something'.. his spills result more often by the difficulty in 'knowing' where to put things on a surface. ? Does that make sense? Maybe there's a professional name for it. Not sure.
Debs, my husband stopped trying to put glasses down and holds the empty glass in his hand until Drew or I take it to refill it. Once, we hadn't taken it away from him and he was walking to the bathroom, and stopped at the kitchen waste basket, lifted the lid and started putting the glass in the trashcan!!! I grabbed it in time and saved it. And realized what must have happened to our two missing glasses! <grin>
By moving the furniture, you moved him out of his element. He has been able to "cover" some of his lack of visual perception because he "knew" how far he needed to go to set things down. They don't get the visual perception back, and you will need to be ready to grab his drinks once he doesn't want to hold them any more. Or, you may want to reconsider the furniture arrangement and put it back like it was. Because of his conditions, you can't retrain him. I'm sorry that it has come to this. I want to rearrange furniture too, but I'm holding off for the same reasons. Good luck!
My husband does the exact same thing with reaching and missing, but since he is 6'6" he has more area for his spillage. I think this is a major reason for the food not making it to his mouth from the table also, but our pup loves it! G does try to clean up after his spills, but thatusually ends up in more of the same.
Thank you for your responses. I am surprised as to how much I have to learn as he is unlearning. Even things that I tell him I have to be careful what I say or don't say because he can't do the same things that he use to be able to do. For instance. When I was cleaning the blinds after the spill mess he wanted to help me do it and he opened the blinds half way instead of leaving them they way they were and they ended up getting off track and now I can't close them right. Of course he wanted to try to do it for me and took one of the slats off the hinges.
I kept trying to tell him, "this is not our house, this is an apartment and we need to ask the right people to come and fix it" but whenever I tell him that he can't do something it makes him more stubborn and insists on trying anyway. And on and on we go.
He is the one who wanted the bigger end table so I am not sure how to tell him that it is not going to work and he needs to go back to the other one. There is only one other end table that is a little taller than the one I moved I guess I could try it. So many adjustments to make a so little time. Once I make one adjustment there is another one around the corner. I need more hands!!!!!!