I know it is pretty late for posting a Monday blog, but I waited until AFTER our excursion to write it. I invite you to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com- and read today's blog. Please post comments here.
You may have to refresh the page to see the blog because it was posted so late.
You have my permission to lose your cool for whatever that's worth. I would have lost mine. And isn't it so very frustrating that when he's done and forgotten all he's said, you can't forget it? Sometimes it would be nice to be able to wipe the message board clean and start again. Just remember that you're an A+lady==that's what counts!
joan the subjects that most are prevalent to them dont go away for a very long time if ever. thats the bad news. good news is ALL of us have found we are real human persons who cant take the BS of AD all the time and its not only rational but necessary to blow it off at some points. good for you to let it out. hes not going to forget the wanting to drive but he will forget you swearing back at him and letting loose. its the good thing about AD if there is one. they dont remember the conversations good or bad:) let it go for now and move on, soon enough something else will take its place! :) divvi
Joan...So much for the A+! Just kidding! Can't blame you a bit for the way you reacted, I would have and actually have done the same thing. We are humans, and are doing the best we can to get through this life.
Joan--something about the way Sid spoke to you--more or less telling you it's your fault that you have so much on your plate--reminded me of something Steve used to say. More than once he told me , in the beginning that "I made my own stress". What can one say--they are so far out in left field, they can't even understand for a second how devastating their illness has been to our lives. You were certainly entitled to blow your top!
I sometimes can't believe the insight my DH has. He will tell me that it's so bad for him (AD), but no one can imagine how hard it must be for me. This makes it so much easier on me - that he knows.
Joan, I'm so very sorry about today. I know you are worn out and this on top of it all! You deserved to blow your top!
And that was sure crap that they wouldn't accept his I.D. number on line. What's it good for then? I don't blame you for flipping out. You've really been under a lot of stress dealing with the move and Sid. Hopefully tomorrow you'll be back on your pedestal. :)
I've got to tell You Joan, i wouldn't have even bothered with the ID. I still haven't. DH has a passport and a VA ID, both government issued. When does he need an ID.? and anyway, it's the same state. so the address is wrong, who really cares. you've got to learn not to try to do everything, and let some things go. AND, more importantly, if he gets to you, BLOW YOUR TOP if you need to. and don't feel guilty about being a human being. Personally, i think you've bitten off more, certainly, than I could chew, and I really admire you for it, but please Joan, don't do stuff you don't need to do. Just let it go.
You are right, of course, it's all really just small stuff, won't matter in 100 years, but right now it's my LIFE and I don't know that I can do this anymore. He's ranting and raging and saying the most hateful things and I'm crying and I hate to do that. I'm so tempted to just give him the car key and let him go. I so wish I had an asterisk next to my name.
No, you're wrong Weejun, what you're dealing with sounds like big stuff to me. And you're sweating it right now. I hope you'll find the strength to not give him the car key. How long has this ranting and raging been going on? Is it all about the driving issue?
Weejun, meds and meds help get us thru the raging and rants. almost all of us sooner or later find a need to contact drs for changes or increases in medications. get him something to help YOU thru this part. it will get less over time as he moves into new stages but the aggressive ranting needs to stop. hope you get help with this. if you are keeping him home you need to get yourself some relief asap/giving the keys could only increase your anxiety knowing he isnt capable of driving. hugs, divvi
Weejun - you are my strong new friend and I know you can hang in there. It's so hard not to take personally the ranting and insults. We are all pulling for you!!!!! Please email if you want to vent....
Weejun, that is not small stuff. And Divvi (as usual) is so right. Get your doctor to give him something to keep him calm. do it Weejun, it's for his good as well as yours. AND, also the good of all those people walking and driving around. they need that protection too. you do not deserve to be ranted and raged at. you deserve to have a calm aura around the house. listen, with all we have to do, certainly, we dont' have to put up with that. Hugs to you.
Sid uses the ID at the airport. It never occurred to me to use the passport. In any case, it's done, and it's good until 2017. The roar has receded for now, and he's very busy with activities from today straight through next Monday.