Well I am in Austin Tx. taking care of my step son, who will not help me with his mom. I hope he will learn by example. He is have his knee rebuilt . He came out of surgery this morning fine and is back in his apartment tonight. He has not a clue about his mom's limitations. She went to get him a glass of water by the time she reached the kitchen she forgot why she went there. I am now taking care of 2 people this week and hopefully he will be more willing to help.
Nancy, for some reason I remember that it was seventeen miles outside of S.M. to the west. I googled it and found an article from the Austin paper that says
What I didn't know was that the park encompassed the town of Ottine, an open spot that looked not much different from a mid-19th-century, pre-commercial settlement. It had been requisitioned by the Civilian Conservation Corps during the Depression — fascinating panoramic photos can be found in a hallway at the park headquarters — and a large, white, tiled sanitarium building remains, practically the size of the rest of the hamlet.
I'm still here. I read the posts as often as I can and usually don't add anything because the particular topic has already been fully discussed. I'm still referring back to everyones suggestions about cleaning carpets (that's still a problem). By the way, Joan, what advice did you give the guy who asked about the peach fuzz on his wife's face. I'm trying to figure out if I need to give Mary a shave.
To all the male caregivers - one reason I take care of my husband and don't complain or feel sorry for myself is that I KNOW that if the situation was reversed, he would take care of me in the same manner that you are taking care of your wives. I admire you all.
Don't shave her, bb, it makes the hairs stronger. There are depilitory cremes that work.. Or pluck hairs (that used to be my chore for my grandmother when I was a kid)
Briegull, the facility at Ottine is south of Luling, toward Gonzales. During the Polio Epidemic, it was used for treating them due to the hot mineral springs in the area. Oddest place,...like a warm jungle there. - and dry mesquite scrub brush down the road away from the hot springs. I'll email the info on it. It's a lovely place to visit...like stepping into another world.
Checking in and saw this thread. I’ve been up to my neck in problems and they just keep coming. 3 weeks ago my daughter informed me she is pregnant……again. Never been married, just has a heck of a knack for hooking up with dirt bags who don’t stick around long. First child is 6 and a very cool kid but lacking from parental guidance. 2nd child arrived 2 years ago and died after 3 weeks in hospital from a serious disease. Very hard watching him suffer. Had (another) long talk with daughter after that ordeal hoping she’d learn from it. Nope. 2 weeks ago I was informed that my job is being eliminated Dec 31. Been a very tough year at work as I’ve had to shut down 4 of the 6 plants I’m responsible for and laid off around 350 people. I’ve kind of been expecting this because the position is hard to justify now. But, the job has been my escape. Am now looking at the very real possibility of just staying home to take care of DW. As she continues to decline her incontinence has worsened. My son, who lives with us to help care of her, told me when he moved in with us 2 years ago that is when he would leave…..when he had to start dealing with that. I certainly understand so I would expect he’ll be moving on when my employment ends. 1 week ago my mother had her hip replaced so daily trips to the hospital to visit with her. She’s doing great and gets out next week. Trying to talk her into coming to my house for a week to help her get her feet under her. Daughter called me 2 days ago to tell me she is now in the hospital for the duration due to complications. What a mess. “Don’t worry Dad, everything is ok”. She’s due in January! I’ve always been there for her but this is just tearing me up…..and she lives 4 hours away. Today is our 34th wedding anniversary. I intend to celebrate by getting my usual Sunday chores done ..laundry/ironing, cleaning, meal prep and a little work winterizing the joint. Very downer post huh? Thanks for listening. Thenneck
We all get down and sounds like you have reason to. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and listening is the one thing we can always do, so keep sharing.
Thenneck, sorry about all the stuff on your plate. Just hang in there, you'll do fine. I feel actually 'lucky' that my DW didn't need total care until I could retire early on SS. Cost me $300/month forever, but we're doing ok. Our 46th anniv. was in July, and just another caregiving day. <sigh> Not an easy or fair life, is it? But we are survivors.
theneck,you have an aawful lot on your plate right now and I feel for you. We'll be here for you and the rope is dangling with lots of big knots to hang on to! Thoughts and prayers for you now.
Thanks for sharing, Thenneck. You have a complex family situation there, and it sounds to me like they are all really lucky to have you caring about them. Hang in there, and keep us posted!
Thenneck, you really have a lot going on. I'm sorry you have so much to deal. Losing your job must be hard under any circumstances, but with so much other stuff to cope with, it must be extra difficult. Does the 6-year old live with your daughter? Where will he (or she) be while your daughter is in the hospital?
Check out this resource on the left side of the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - Help for Male Caregivers. There are helpful hints in there about things guys just don't know about. Including facial hair.
I am so sorry you are going through such a rough patch. A friend gave me this little poem from a greeting card, and I once used it in a blog when Mary's daughter died. This time it's from me to you:
"I wish I had a big yellow umbrella that would keep away all the rain in your life. I would hold it over your head and all the drops would splash, splash, splash, and you would never even feel it. But I do not have a big yellow umbrella, so I will walk through the rain with you."
theneck - we have a daughter like that. After the 4th pregnancy we got her to get her "tubes tied'. The best move she ever made. She is a rotten mother (first two live with ex and his parents, the 3rd one adopted, the 4th lives with her and another looser guy) and didn't need to bring anymore children into the world. She refused birth control saying she could manage by tracking her cycle! I would talk to her seriously about getting her tubes tied to avoid any more pregnancies, especially emphasize the difficulties she has with them.
Sorry about your job - hopefully they will give you a severance package. Maybe you can find a part time job either with the company in another capacity or pumping gas. Just don't forget that you need the 'me' time even volunteering somewhere once a week.
Glad you mother is doing so well. You are blessed.
Life is a box of chocolates......you never know what your going to get. Tonight, we are having lemonade for dinner and I'm the cook. Joan - thx, but this site is my umbrella. Someone always has it worse so we just push forward. Janet - It is a grandson that is 6 years old. Wonderful personality......I love him to death. He knows he's my best buddy. Daughter moved out on the "3rd father" 2 weeks ago and now with the newest developments our grandson is being watched over by him. How comforting. No job, no money, no maturity. I know I'm nuts but.......I'm thinking through the implications of having daughter move back home with us to help me with DW and help her get her feet under her....again. She is a nurses aid working in an ALZ home now. Thenneck
thenneck-- Think long and hard about that. Her pregnancy is precarious--how much helping will she be able to do and how much will she need herself. Good ideas but hard choices. Would Daddy 3 be in the picture too?
My tb story. We lived in St. Augustine, Fl and my mother had a nurse friend who worked in a TB sanatorium. My mother, for some reason. would let me go to work with her friend - I was about two. I guess the people must have enjoyed seeing a toddler. I do test positive to TB so......
About men and other patient people. The last couple of days, I have been fighting wanting to be vengeful, pitiful and just plain hateful. I keep thinking of all of the folks that post here and all of the courage that I hear from all of you. So far, it has helped. I wish I wouldn't get these mean feeling attacks. I don't act on them, but I sure do have to pray a lot to help me act nice to my DH on those days. I know it is normal and that other people have them too, but when it is me, I feel like I am the so petty and mean.