About 2 weeks ago DH wet the bed. OK, I have now put on a new water repellant mattress pad, just in case. Figured it was a one time thing. Yesterday, in my DD's home, he went to the basement thinking there was a bathroom down there (he was already on the floor where there were 2 bathrooms.... and pooped in his pants in the laundry room.... What a fiasco, cleaning up, and getting him upstairs to shower him. BTW, there was a party going on, with about 20 people in the living room. I really needed this. So my question... when do we move them to depends. I don't want to make a big deal about this, but.... what's the right time.
I was able to convince my husband that the depend would give HIM more security. He thought they were comfortable, and it took some worry off his mind. He didn't have many urine accidents, but was losing sphincter control. Problem was....don't let the dependence on depends backfire. My DH didn't want to give them up, and between sweat and the "little bowel leaks" he got a pretty sore "baby bum." (in adult terms.....diaper rash).
Chris, run, do not walk, to Walmart and get the Depends. Hide all of his underpants and replace them with the Depends in his drawer. Just call them underpants (or shorts or jockeys or whatever name he uses) from now on. You will save yourself a lot of clean up time. They think going outside is going to the bathroom too, so whenever he gets up, lead him to the bathroom FIRST, and maybe avoid some mistakes. I didn't, and he peed outside twice before I learned my lesson! Another hint - even with the bed pad, if you don't want to change sheets in the middle of the night, go to a fabric place and buy the rubber pad fabric (at least 6 feet - it's 3 feet wide) and lay it over the bottom sheet. Then during the night, if he has an accident, you can clean him up, fold the bottom half of the pad (at the feet) over the top half (at the pillow) and it will be dry for him to sleep the rest of the night, then you just wash and dry the pad each day, if he has an accident. The sheets stay dry. Don't have to wash them every day now. WHEW!
Even if he doesn't have an accident again for a month, you will have everything in place, so it becomes normal....
Chris i agree its time unfortunately, the 'one time' usually is a turning point and it will happen sooner rather than later. in my case i started DH in depends WAYYYY earlier than really needed as i wanted him familair with them as i knew it would be certain soon enough. i put his underwear over the depends and he seemed to be ok with this - then it went from that to not using any of the reg underwear only depends. we all become quite inventive when we have to wash sheets daily. mary's idea is a good one. i also use a pad /and rubber pants over a depend with booster pad -and even then sometimes it leaks. nothing is foolproof we just do the best we can. i would recommend you start the transitions this week and get him used to them. the TENA serenity brand is the best in my opinion softer and much more like real underwear but hard to find. i get them on lineby the case if i cant find locally. othertimes i use the mens depends. try to get a good fit, esp round the legs if possible. wishing you luck, divvi
I agree with Mary, get him into something asap and retire the others to the deepest darkest corner of the "Salvation Army" closet. He can still pull his "apparatus" out from inside, just through the leg hole rather than the opening in the center of usual boxer pants. You may have to try a few brands to see which ones fit best but don't even THINK about trying to put the ones with the tabs on him while he's still mobile and mostly continent. Those are treacherous to deal with on an active person. And I agree with Nora, phrase it in the terms of security for him.
Well, at least, Chris, you won't have to try to convince the relatives that he's got problems, in case they're "denying" the reality of his situation!
And don't feel like all is lost, that hereafter you're deep into mode of complete incontinence. My husband has been wearing Depends (the Walmart brand, actually) for well over a year, night and day. He still USUALLY urinates in the toilet except at night; he still USUALLY poops in the toilet. With a "booster pad" inside the Depends, and a throw-away pad (on top of a quilted pad on top of the sheet on top of the plastic mattress cover) we USUALLY don't have major clean-ups.
I'm a big proponent of attempting to manage bowel movements with small doses of immodium (esp. after spicy or fatty foods or med changes). In case of accidents the Depends strips off at the sides so you can kinda get it off before everything is down the legs, etc. I HAD bought a pack of the tab-side kind (it's easy to make a mistake when you're shopping, the tabs aren't very visible on the fronts, and they do say that they're THE most protective), and I CAN put them on in this situation without having to remove shoes and trousers. I've also found that having the adult size "baby wipes" at hand is useful for cleanup.
And I've checked; keep track of your purchases and write them off as med supplies at tax time.
I put DW on Depends when I started finding her underwear in the bathroom having been washed. She couldn't tell me why. Now all she wears is the Depend. I try to take her to the bathroom every 2-3 hours. That way she usually doesn't soil the Depend. For night I found, in the Alzheimer Store catalogue "Tranquility Premium Overnight Disposable Absorbent Underwear". I put her in this, with a booster pad, each night. If I let her sleep more than 9 hours I may find a small leak on the pad under her, but most nights the bed is dry and the underwear is loaded with urine. With the booster pad it will hold 45 ounces of urine without leaking.
Briegull...When using the WalMart brand do you use the ones that say for men and women? I could find the ones for women but none that said for men. I bought the Tena for men.
I like the Tena, but can't find it easily available. I use the kind that are for men and women - here the Walmart brand doesn't have the different kinds. I got some of the Depends for men, but he sleeps on his back, so the men's kind for that definitely isn't great. We're using them up in the daytime though.
briegull Tena Serenity made a new mens TENA like a short, that isnt getting many good raves. i found the regular TENA online by the case, they are fasing them out to replace with these new mens/womens like the depends has.
i dont like it one bit! i love the old tena! cant find it either here. shux.! divvi
Thanks...I was really hoping we wouldn't ever have to use diapers but here I am at that stage. So far I am only using them at night but I am sure that want last for long. Woe is me
you get used to it. The stuff is so loaded with anti-smell things, and so good at holding the urine, that it really isn't bad. And you call them "whities" if you choose.
briegull--your post about the immodium got me thinking--how do I put this delicately--it sounds like that would potentially make the cleanup a lot "neater". I'm not familiar with it--can it be given on a regular basis? We aren't at that stage yet, but I could see where something like that could be of help later on.
Precisely, Marilyn. Esp. if you can keep them upright before they sit in it. I've asked my PCP and he says a single immodium a day (seldom more than that) can't hurt. I got used to taking it along when I travelled. When you really have diarrhea you have to take it after every single stool, up to 8 times a day I think. So the single one isn't much but it's like a single antihistamine, it's more a preventative.
Ironically, I think the Aricept (in my husband) has caused the need for something like immodium to counteract the side effect. So here's something that's being given for AD, which while it may help some symptoms, will make the bathroom situation harder.