Yesterday my DH went out the back door without telling me what he was going to do. I was in the kitchen and when I came out he was no where to be found. I looked in every room and he was'nt in the apartment then I looked out back and I didn't see him then I went out the front door and the car was still there but I couldn't see him. I went back in the apartment and there he was standing in the hallway like nothing was wrong and when I saw him it startled me.
I knew it probably wouldn't do any good but I told him why I was upset and didn't want him to do that anymore and as I was telling him he looked puzzled because he couldn't understand what the big deal was.
He is so quiet and doesn't talk to me much and tell me what he is going to do. Is he entering a new stage? Do you think I should get some kind of gps device for him to wear? I heard that Radio Shack has them. What kinds of things have you done to be able to keep track of your LO. I am considering a cow bell <grin>
deb occasionally my husband will do that too. He is still at the stage where he takes 2 hour walks by himself, but he always tells me when he does that. What he won't always tell me is when he goes out to water the bushes in front of the house, or pull the dead leaves off of the daylilies.
As you can see keyed deadbolts and siren alarms on the outside doors aren't appropriate in my husband's case, and probably aren't in your husband's either. Or at least not right now. The time might come and sooner rather than later.
My husband is carrying a IN CASE OF EMERGENCY packet in his wallet. His speech is the worst symptom he has. I don't know if he can still say his full name and he can't tell them what his address and phone number are, but those things are in his wallet along with my name, his doctor's names and numbers and all of his medications. In the in-between stages, you do what you can do.
I am fully aware that one of these days he might not come home from one of his walks, but his doctor knows he is doing them and is OK with it.
I frequently don't know where my husband is. He is still quite competent and really isn't in any danger yet, but it's still upsetting not to know where he is. I search every room upstairs and in the basement, the garage, the back yard which is fenced in, and the front yard which isn't. I call as I look for him, but he rarely answers. He doesn't understand why I get upset when I waste 15 or 20 minutes looking for him as he wanders from place to place without answering. I just told him other people on here were complaining about the same thing, so he told me loudly that he was going outside NOW. Never mind that it's pouring rain. I may put a bell on him like you put on a cat, so I can hear where he is.
My husband is still quite competent too. He does take daily walks through our subdivision and he has a phone with a chaperone feature so I can check on him. I use the keyed deadbolts mostly to keep him in the house during the night and morning. He is up very, very early and doesn't require me to make his breakfast yet but he would leave the house before I could even get up and not tell me. He has been very accepting of the locked doors (after a few weeks of being upset). I know how lucky I have been with him because even though he has FTD I have not had to deal with out of control anger.
That you for all your responses. deb, what is a chaperone feature on his phone. He has a cell phone and I can call him but that is only when he is not at home. I haven't put down his medication or doctor information in his wallet, I need to do that. I keep threatening to get a cow bell and put it around his neck and he told me that his mother felt the same way when he was little. He is telling me a lot of stories about what happened when he was little. Things I didn't even know. I think his being so quiet is a problem but there is nothing I can do about it. OH WELL!!!
Lots of good suggestions for me too. Last night DH got up and I heard the door open. In a few minutes I saw him come back in the house. I didn't look at the clock but it had to be at least 3 or 4 a.m. or earlier. We don't sleep in the same room because he has always been so restless at night..even before AD. Anyway, we need to do some more preventive things here too. Better yard fencing, a louder squeak to the door.. and seriously, for those who can't operate cell phones, its certainly a good idea to have some kind of tracking device on them..if they'll allow it..or if we can put it on their shoes without their knowledge. Scary for sure. The responsibility of this sometimes overwhelming. We live in the country..but he could get lost in the dense woods rather than a neighborhood or busy city. Either way..there's no way to predict when or if they'll decide to 'go get the paper'' and get completely disoriented.
the wandering is a constant issue with many of us. before i put in the keyed deadbolts on our front door and bedroom door, DH would be out the door and into the oncoming traffic before i knew it. they seem to hone in on the ablility to escape and be silent about it as well which in the course of the disease seems quite amazing they can be that creative. mary and some of the others have added the deadbolts with good results. of course its a dramatic wakeup call but its better than losing them into the nite -my uncle had AD and lived in the country. his family didnt secure the area either and he got on his 3 wheeler one nite and the found him turned over in a ditch unconcsious the next day. frightening and radical decisions must be made to ensure their safety. divvi
deb, the chaperone feature is like having a gps on your husband as long as he will carry the phone. We have it through Verizon, but I know other cell providers have it to. It's a program you download onto your husband's phone as the child phone (the one you what to be able to find) and yours as the adult (the phones need to be capable gps services and some of the phones have it built in). That way as long as he has the phone on him and it's turned on you can check to see where he is without having to call the phone. I can do it either from my phone or from the computer. It comes up as a little map showing where they are. It costs me $9.99 a month for the service. Call your cellphone provider and see if they have it. Since my husband likes to go for walks during the day, it has relieved a little of the stress of where he is if he seems to be gone too long.
Someone on another thread mentioned Sprint's having a GPS-like program; so I checked then since we have Sprint. Haven't added it to hb's phone yet, but if he begins wandering, I will. He rides his bike up the road and back now. Has given up the 7-mile ride to town. Guess he *really* is afraid I'll follow through on threats:)
Bluedaze, MY husband goes up and down the curved staircase every day and twice at night. We have a rear staircase that is not curved and has a landing half way up. He Vehemently refuses to use those stairs, even when I am with him. After he broke his hip, his Physical Therapist came to the house and focused on how to climb the curved staircase. They practiced going up and down. I didn't think about it at the time. He CREATED a stair climber! Before then, DH rarely climbed the stairs. He holds tight and uses a cane. Can't put furniture in front of the stairs..would block entrance to the front and other room.
Thanks Deb for the info. I am going to have to change cell phone companies though because I have been asking my company for several months now and they haven't gotten it yet and I think I need it pretty quick now.
Nancy, what does your DH go upstairs for? Is it something that could be moved downstairs to obviate the need, or is he just one of those who likes to travel?
He choses to sleep in different beds. There are three bedrooms upstairs and he likes 2 out of the 3. The third is a big four poster and too high for him to cimb into. I ask him if he plays "Musical Beds All Night Long"..and he used to say, 'trying to get comfortable". It's just part of his restlessness and night wandering.