I do not think THIS LADY(me) will be able to put on the happy face this year -the daily grind of life around here is wearing down my former smiley face!!!
I too would love to run away during the holidays! I recently moved from out of state to be closer to my family and my DH. What a joke....I will be alone (except with my DH who is like being alone---he just recluses to the t-v- with the door shut or sleep in his bedroom) and Christmas the same. My kids will be going out town to spend time with my DIL family in the Midwest. So I moved here to be closer to them and they leave me during the holidays. I left my long time friends to be closer....what a big mistake. I realize they have their lives but please I am being demanding and unreasonable. PS I will be dogsitting there 2 dogs during this time! I am so depressed this...any advice?
I've just finished reading all your posts, and I'm sorry that every thing's piling up on you. It does seem to be too much on top of taking care of your husband. I live in Canada, and I don't know how your system works, but if it were me, I'd start with my family doctor, and it would be an emergency. I'd ask his advice on how to get some help. I'd ask for some kind of counseling to make the system work for me - a stress counsellor for starters. The counsellor would know how to go from there. I know you've said you don't have a lot of money, but there is help available even so. Emphasize the need for you to be able to take care of your husband and that you cannot under the present circumstances. I wouldn't count on changing your husband or your family, but you should be helped so that you can count on yourself to hang tough. I'd nix the dog-sitting. Tell your family that "Im not up to it." Never mind if they like it or not. Respecting you is more important. The loss of your friends in your former place of residence is a major contributor to your present feeling of loneliness, and another network would be helpful. Church? A support group of some sort? I also know that there are times when we are completely alone, and it is almost more than we can bear. But somehow we do manage, and life becomes sweet again. I pray that this will come soon for you. In the meantime, as Bama says, "Big girl panties."
Yeah..tell em to put the doggies in the doggie day care...you have enough on you plate..Your day is dreary enough without the doggies, no matter how cute, to remind you they left with nary a thought to how things might be for you. It is too bad the ones in the mid west could not come to AZ where the weather will be a darn site better than the chilly mid west.
Mary and Mimi thanks for your input. Mary I am searching for a local church I can connect with. It was helpful, but developing friendships take time. Yes the family is a contributing factor to being alone. I will end up doing the dog sitting as I have only been here in the area 3 months and this will make my 3 time watching them. I am a dog lover and it's okay. I guess I am just so disappointed about spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone in a new city with only my DH who locks himself away from me or worse..when he goes to the topless bars and pays for a lap dance which he admits he does. It's tearing me in pieces. I appreciate this room and thanks ladies. PS -----I can't find my "big girl panties"..
Maybe you could volunteer at a place that serves dinner to the homeless and poor.I' ve moved a lot in my married life and found out volunteering is very rewarding and you meet other kind people.My friends call me the Career Volunteer(54 year career)
yhouniey thanks for the suggestion, but this is not possible. I am the caretaker and my volunteer work is at home --lol. Hope your Thanksgiving was a blessing
Hey lonelyinphoenix,have a daugther in Anthem an she's been after me to see the home she had built for the last five years,I plan on going out there sometime after the holidays,I'll buy lunch if you'd like,birds of a feather you know.....