Here's something I've been thinking about the last few days. In our area, most of the agency caregivers and those in residential facilities are from other countries. This situation has already created problems for my husband at the daycare facilities he has attended. The social worker at one of the facilities told me that due to "cultural differences" the staff did not believe my husband has AD (he is too young in their eyes). This, in turn, affected how they treated him and how they responded to his behavior. Needless to say, it created bad situations. Fast forward to the present--we have had an aide in our home for a few months, and she has a heavy foreign accent; now she is on vacation, and the substitute aide has virtually no accent. I have noticed that my husband is able to have regular conversations with the substitute aide--then it dawned on me. Here is someone who is losing his ability to express himself, his ability to comprehend what others are saying to him, and I had been leaving him with someone 4 hours a day whom he can't understand! There's something really wrong with this picture. How in the world are people in the more advanced stages of dementia supposed to understand foreign accents, when they can barely understand native English speakers? I guess what I have learned from this is that I'm going to have to insist on caregivers who can be easily understood, and that if he ever needs a residental facility, I'll have to pay attention to these issues. Please understand that it has nothing to do with prejudice on my part, it's just that I want the very best care for him. Has anyone else had experience with this?
I agree on the accent. It is frustrating when you try to understand what someone is saying or you are trying to communicate with them. But, I will add it is not just foreigners. Being from the NW where we have no accent I have had trouble when we travel to other parts of the country. A current example is the program Great American RV Trip. One of the families is from the Bronx and I often find it hard to understand some of what they say. Same is true with someone with a strong southern accent. Around here it is the Mexicans and Russians that cause a lot of problems. Lets face it - English is a difficult language to learn.
Yes, Charlotte, you are correct. I guess what I mean to say is that it's important that the person with dementia have caregiver(s) who speak in a way that they can understand. If we had not had the experience with the back-to-back aides and the contrast, I may not have realized how important it is.
if that was an issue for me, i would have the agency send out 2-3 caregivers and interview them myself prior to accepting one as DH caregiver -you will be one to interview and review if your spouse interacts socially with any of them and how they speak to him. i would be upfront with the agency and tell them due to his inablility to hear and communication skills its imperative they are native speaking english only. divvi
when i interviewed for our first caregiver agency, they asked specific questions of whether there were any issues due to ethnics or cross cultures. i was glad they did because at the time, my DH who was ALWAYS a champion for the 'underdog' with legal issues suddenly became the worst verbal prejudiced person on the planet, and i had to be careful when i took him out in public! he would make rude comments and say embarrasing things to people much to my horror and then laugh thinking it was very cutesy. AAARRG! boy those were the days. long story short, we had a very small list of caregivers available but it all worked out in the end.:) divvi
Interesting, that sounds like a pretty smart agency policy. Apparently what happened with your husband is pretty common--one would hope caregivers are educated to take it all in stride--but you never know.
Just wrote a great post to this thread and did not add it properly and lost it. so here goes again. I think the early stages are probably more critical for being careful with aln accent. But the latter stages, accent is not near as important as the bond, the relationship, the charisma for the Helper with the patient. I have had thre girls from Ghanna and my wife has been in stage #6 for this period. The last one has the best loving and caring personality. She also has two young girls that she brings occasionally and a new baby boy that she now brings every day. Carol and the 2 month communicat quite well.
Their heart and spirit about being a true Helper is the most important characteristic. bill
Bluedaze - A nearby authentic French bakery has Spanish speaking people working the counter. It's often 'hola' not 'bonjour' but their pasteries are really good in any language.
I have the same problem with my husband. Born and raised in the deep South, he was 'taught' prejudices because he was raised in the 30's and 40's. As he regresses in his mind-think, he's begun using the N word...the one that ends in "er", and it's terrible. My Stephens' Minister from church is an incredibly beautiful woman from Ghana, so sweet and so loving. Another good friend is from Detroit, and is also black. They understand, but I would just die if he lashed into them the way he has about people of color in the hospital and restaurants. I don't need the little cards that say, "Be Patient", I need to carry ear plugs for those people.. I'm looking for a male caregiver, purple, pink brown or white...to help me with him. I believe he would resist another woman helping him in the bath.
When Claude was in the very early stage (altho we didn't know it then), he fell and we had Home Health care for several weeks. The first time the female aide came to help him shower, he raised holy he**, saying he didn't want another female seeing him naked. We made it thru that shower and the aide showed me now to help him shower. We had a tub/shower with glass doors so it was difficult. From then on, I helped him.
Last November when he started Hospice care, it wasn't an issue then. His aide Melinda was a gem. She was a 65 year old, 5 foot black lady (which would have been a problem earlier due to him being raised in the south) and when she said it was time to shower, shave or whatever, off he went. She got him to do things I could never get him to do.
Bluedaze, that was so funny but so true here in Texas. My son picked up a box of Asian Helper (similar to Hamburger Helper but this was Chicken LoMein). The directions on one side were in English and the other side they were in Spanish.
Mary, your comment about Texas being "Northern Mexico" and don't even ask about New Mexico made me remember about my Mom. We live in New Mexico. We took my folks to visit a local tourist place many years ago. I saw Mom looking around, and I asked her what she was looking for. She said, "Billy the Kid." And she meant it.
Ten years ago when my husband was in the hospital a new nurse (not aide) came in on the 11 o'clock shift. He was awake and she was talking to him but he couldn't understand a word she said and didn't follow directions. For some reason she thought he was having a stroke and called in the resident (brand new, August recruit) who sent him off for MRI etc. I eventually talked to the nurse. She had the strongest SCOTTISH BURR! you can imagine. Of course he couldn't understand her!
I make sure that the Aides' office knows we need someone with English as native language. Given that he has trouble HEARING as well as understanding, that's imperative.
My experience with caregivers from agencies are that in our area, most are black women. They were very loving and attentive, however he was confned to a bed from his hip surgery and didn't talk much. NOW, I'm concerned he could hurt their feelings. One that worked in the evenings was a die-hard Republican (about 18 months ago) and she would talk politics endlessly. Foster would listen to her and give her "thumbs up". I need to find someone who can help him with tasks that I can no longer do by myself. Surely with three agencies to call, I should be able to find one!! right?
Most of the black women that I've known in caregiving are quite comfortable with the way old guys behave/talk. I wouldn't worry. Growing up in Texas myself, black women signify security to me.
Briegull, I just remembered something he told me about his childhood. His mother was a widow and a school teacher. He was disciplined, fed and loved to death by a black woman named Daphne. He would tell tales of how she could pick up his brother and him - one under each arm - and hurl them into the house when they were getting into trouble. Perhaps, because of his regressive behavior, (more like a 4 year old now), a black woman would remind him of his beloved Daphne and he wouldn't have trouble with her helping him with all the activities of daily living. I am so glad I just remembered that..thanks Briegull!
Clemmie took care of me. My mother was ill with TB and my grandmother had her hands full with the two of us, but Clemmie I adored. And after Clemmie there was Myrtle, who even came and did my ironing when I was first married. And THEN there was Irma, who was from Louisiana but found herself in Oakland CA and came to us once a week to watch two preschool boys and clean house once a week. Irma taught me to clean house (I was not a good student). She was also the cleaning woman for a friend with three kids. One day we left her with the youngest of those and my house to clean while we all went off to the Oakland Zoo. When we came back she was standing on the porch watching for us. I'd found her limits!! Oh, the stories I could tell about Irma! She was great!