Yesterday, I had outpatient knee surgery. Everything went well and I was home before noon. The biggest problem for me was dealing with DH. He had a hard time remembering about the surgery, even though he went to the doctor with me. I asked my daughter to take me for the surgery and stay with me. First DH said he did not to come to the hospital with us, then he did. Since we had to leave there at 5:30am, I made arrangements for our son to pick up DH later in the morning and take him to the hospital, which worked better. I come home with an ice machine which pumped cold water to a knee wrap. It had to be refilled with ice and water every few hours. That and other care giving tasks were really too difficult for him. I realize he does not adapt well to the reverse in our roles. I am expecting him to take care of me, instead me taking care of him. This has been a learning experience as well as making me think about what we should plan for in the future.
maryd, while they can function like they are normal in the earlier stages, being helpful and compassionate goes by stage 4 in most cases, we have found. They SHOULD be able to help us, but that link is broken just like the reason button is broken.
I'm glad your surgery was successful, and hopefully your daughter and son can come before work and after work to help you for a few days.
It's hard to realize that we can no longer count on our spouses (spice) to help us and make plans to have others standing by to do so, in case of emergency as well. We must take over this too! <sigh>
Maryd, so sorry about your surgery but happy it was successful. It really is sad when we can't count on our spouses to give us the help we need at times. And it's really hard to "plan" for these types of activities. Hope you will be up and about soon.
MaryD, it really is very sad when we get to that point where there is no concern on the spouse's part and we realize that we are completely responsible for the two of us, and there are only one of us to do it all. I' glad your surgery went well and hope you are able to take it easy for awhile so your recuperation is uneventful.
Maryd, if someone can come to help you out, you need to ask for them to do that. Do take care of yourself. And get well.
I had knee surgery too, about 3 years ago, and that was when I realized he could not take care of me anymore. Yesterday I found out I wasn't sick after all. My husband is a lot worse these days, and one of the things that keeps sending more relief through me is as I realize that I don't have to make arrangements for both of us to be taken care of during an illness.
Oh my. I saw the orthopedic again today. Although I do have a torn maniscus in my knee (according to the MRI), he does not think that is what is giving me all of this pain. He says I have "illiotibial band syndrome". I looked it up. It describes my symptoms quite well. He gave me two cortisone shots in the two different areas that are so painful. I thought I was going to jump off of the table. It hurt like Hell. Which prompted him to say, "Guess we got the right area."
I am sore tonight, and start physical therapy on Monday. I do not want surgery, but at least if I do have to have it, the bus from my new home will take me and pick me up. Sid is capable of bringing me drinks and making a sandwich or soup if I need to be waited on, and the ALF delivers dinner to our villa, so I'm all set there. But I really hope the physical therapy does the trick.
Being laid up for any reason makes you think long and hard about your spouse's ability and your own needs.
Once again, I am SO glad I made the decision to move to this place.
they can do marvels with physical therapy these days. its always better to try everything first available and avoid surgery if possible. i am sure you will do just fine joan. maybe you also have an angel watching over you and 'coaxed' you into moving sooner rather than later"/ :)divvi
I do have an angel, and her name is Ruth Ann. I want to give her credit. She put her arms around me, told me she was worried about all the stress I was under, and then I saw the change in her after her move to a rented condo. The stress was out of her body and her face, and she said that she had no debt and no worries about home maintenance or repairs. Her husband is still functional, and the condo is right on the water, so he goes fishing with the other guys in the condo. She never said a word about what I should do, but it planted the seed in my head. All of sudden, it became clear to me that the way we were living was not working and was not going to work. That's when I acted.
Which, as you said, is a good thing, because my knee and I are going to need all the help we can get. I think I can even get the facility bus to take me back and forth to physical therapy, although it is the left knee, so I can drive.
that business about the compassion button being broken really hit me hard when I contracted Lyme disease. When I got really sick, and called my DIL to take me to the doctor, he thru a fit, claiming I wasn't really sick, i was lying. (why would I) anyway, my knees both need replacement but my ortho understands my situation, and that I can't be disabled. After this illness, and how my kids changed their lives to pitch in and take care of DH, I can't put them thru that again, either. i'll have the replacements whenever. It's a scary way to have to plan your life, isn't it.
Chris r.....I need a knee replacement as well. It buckles right out from under me and is quite painful. I have to wear a bulky contraption when I ride or do heavy work around the place or wrap it. I'm going to wait as long as I possibly can. By then, hopefully the technology will be better and the replacement will last longer (only 10-12 years right now, as I understand). At least now, I don't have to worry about taking care of John here at home as well.
chris, I think you're right not to have the surgery done now unless you have someone who can stay with you for a while. I am so thankful I had my knees replaced, but I wouldn't want to do it with DH unable to care for me and needing care himself. Hang in there. "Whenever" will come.