Always feels bad Motivates grasping Seizes control Insists on certainty Needs everything
LOVE
Always feels good Motivates liberation Relaxes control Accepts uncertainty Needs nothing by Martha Beck
After reading this article in Oprah on line, it really got me thinking about my thinking......I am allowing fear to run my life. I feel bad, I am trying to hang onto what used to be, I'm allowing my fear of the future to control me, I am trying to continue to always have a plan, I'm being consumed by it. I now know I NEED to allow love to rule my life, I want to feel good, I want to feel motivated and liberated, I want to relax the control I try to have over everything, I want to accept that I can't control life, life is uncertain, I want to need nothing but love. Can I do it, can you do it? Let's talk about it. Arms around, Susan
OK, I'll go first, lol. I worry how I'll handle losing Jim, will I be a good older "mother" to Dylan and Dee? Will I be able to take care of my home, it's bills, it's upkeep.
From my experience, it is a process. Nothing comes all at once. Anyone who has followed my blogs from 2 years ago to now can see the process. Fighting to keep things as they were; emotional devastation at the realization that they cannot be; struggling to learn how to live with what is; an acceptance of what is; learning how to enjoy the good parts of what is left; being a good planner, but still living one day at a time, because worrying about the future takes time and effort away from NOW.
I don't know how I will react when/if DH gets worse. So far I really don't have to do anything for him. Except for his short term memory and occasionally long term, he functions very well. I read the posts and wonder what I will do when such and such happens. When he was Dx'd in September of 2007 I think I expected him to go down pretty fast. He is on Aricept at night and Namenda morning and night, he also went on Sertraline a couple of weeks ago. I don't know how long he will be like this but I am thankful he doesn't have the problems so many of your spouses have. I am sure the Sertraline have calmed down any rants he might have and I sincerely hope they continue to do that. You all have my admiration for how you are handling the rotten downsides of this disease.
How do I fight fear with love? fortunately, my youngest daughter has approached me....although needing money for tuition may have been the object. She and I have conneceted again. not so with his other offspring and remaining sisters. Joan, you are so lucky to still "have Sid". You don't know. Except throuh us. God bless you and keep you.
Don't worry...Be happy... Here's to a better life thru chemistry. I don't fear anything except the stupid stuff like a flat tire when DW is with me and it's 100 degrees or 20 degrees, or West Nile Virus. Love life...it'll love you back.
Really, joe? Do you believe that ? I'm having a very HARD time with all of this. I have a lot of fear of John's family and rightly so.....now, they want access to him and I won't let them have it. Im really conflicted on this .
Fear doesn't stop things from happening...it disables you from being able to act to neutralize the happening. Staying cool and in control of yourself is the best offense. And trust that God is on your side, because He is.
Love is the cornerstone of our strength. Built into our souls, it empowers us to face FEAR in all its aspects; unmask it and send it from us beaten.
Fear is all the real and potential negative happenings that come to us, looking to destroy us, with its disguises, lies, and hurtfulness. Shed the light of Love on Fear and it is destroyed.