Good for you, that is so great. hopefully you'll be able to continue this, with respite care for DH. it is so important to just get away and recharge your batteries.
I had no idea what a difference it could make until I went in June. For 2-1/2 years it had been non stop dementia for me from the DX journey which we all know can be hell just in itself, updates on our home of 25 years to get it ready for sale, then the sale itself, the absolute trauma of packing up and getting our stuff shipped to another state discovering the hard and expensive way the extent of DH's abilities, then the drive across country, purchase of first home, and then purchase of another with total renovation of it and then finally in November moving into this home which is still unfinished. All this time DH has been enjoying the perks of living in the middle of a resort town with the music and liveliness within steps from our house for which I am grateful but left me feeling like his cruise director burdened by all the responsiblities I've never had before. I knew how important it was to take care of oneself as a caregiver and kept telling people I would do that when I just had the time. MAKE THE TIME EVERYONE!
I've decided I need to schedule time for two things in my life that I have been letting go. I'm scheduling looking into all of the craft supplies and books that I've got and choosing something to make and to do. More than one something is very probable. And I'm scheduling some housekeeping. I've just barely been keeping up, and that also needs to change.
In my mind, I'm planning my escape. It will probably never turn into reality, but it makes me happy to lie in bed at night and make my plans. Sometimes I even look at airfares and resorts, a good fantasy can be good for the soul. Right now there is no time for me, I have a tower of paperwork to get through, hour long trips to see Jim, the kids start school tomorrow, Thank you Lord, I made it through the summer! I am too tired to do much more than sit here and type. And yes I took the beautiful Laptop that Jim and I bought DD for school, as payment for the car insurance deductible and phone bill that she ran up, so there!
I love you, Susan, that you can see the humor in things. GOOD FOR YOU!!! (but given everything your DD has been up to, I'd sure check it for viruses asap!!!)
Hobbies, I used to quilt, and I had a group I'd meet with once a week. I can't get away for a whole day anymore, so that's out. And It seems I''ve just lost interest, I used to really lose myself in quilting, and reading the books and picking fabric. I don't know what happened. I guess dementia caught me in its evil clutches.
I am a Suduku junkie and work one or more puzzles before I can go to sleep. Also like to read---some fiction but mostly serious stuff or news. Keep track of my spending on Quicken and add to my geneology. I also try to add to Carol's Blog whenever I am inspired or have some personal news to report. You might want to visit us at: http://howiscaroldoing.blogspot.com/. It has been a real opportunity for me to practice my faith and communicate to believers and non-believers. Of course eating is my biggest pastime and sin. I am a foodaholic. lbill
Well it's been harder than I thought to get myself away for my few days with son and grandson. Today DH suddenly started seeming kind of out of it, odd since yesterday he was in great shape, took himself to a ballgame even. I'm thinking it's because I'm leaving in the morning. I came close to cancelling my trip but finally talked myself out of it and told DH that I need him to be responsible and take care of himself and the pups so that I could leave without worrying. He actually changed considerably after that, started doing a bit of yard work, and even set up the coffee for me to have early in the morning before I drive myself to the airport. I'm exhausted but feel sure with all the people I have checking on him and the fact that he's quite functional he will be fine, now I just need to be fine and get the heck out of Dodge!
I enjoy quilting. I get away for 2 hours on Thursday afternoon to meet with my group. We are in a gated community, so the clubhouse is 2 blocks away. I can be back home in minutes if need be. Never have had to yet. I also leave a note. I tell where I am and the time of my return. I always say later than I will really be.
On Sunday afternoons I go to a friends house (alone). She is my shrink. I dump on her while having a big glass of wine. She dumps on me as well. I really good friend is so important. You can tell them things you can't really say to your family. Like this board. I usually stay 2 hrs. That seems the amount of time DH can handle, before he starts worrying.
I would like to do some decorating too. I would love to do the floors in the 2 guest rooms. I can't face empying the 2 huge closets of junk. The carpet is a hideous pink (from the previous owner)It is shredded in someplaces from the cats that used to live here.
I'm a reader as well. Just finished the 7th and last Harry Potter book. Now reading Maeve Binchy. Have a Michael Connelly lined up next.
Nothing like getting my hair done for a nice perk.
Lets not forget Chunky Monkey. No more of that. I'm too fat. I have to get back to the Fat Girls Club (really! we have one.)
My life begins a 8PM when DH goes to bed. He really wants to go to bed at 6, but I won't let him. Some fun we have. Just a day at a time.
I'm trying to do a lot of things for myself lately, to keep my mind and body occupied. "Busy-ness" is my new medication for the undercurrent of panic, loneliness and pain I feel, still, naturarly. I find that I have to FORCE it, it doesn't come naturally. I still find the days to be too long and empty. The night, when I can sleep, not long enough.
I'm going on the Caregiver Cruise in February, only this time, without my husband. I want time away, and to be with friends from here, and to salute Diane, who was going with me. It will be a celebration, as she would want. I hope others of you will do as I am doing, and find the money, and find the place your spouse can stay for five days, and revitalize yourselves and get to meet face to face. They will survive without us for five days, and we can read, sleep, chat, swim, get massages, play card and board games, tour, and for those so inclined, gamble. Think about it.
Nancy, that's great. I'm happy for you. You and Mary sound like a dangerous combination. (-: Mary, I'm so glad for you also, that you'll have the opportunity to go, kick back, have some fun.
DianeT, do you show? We showed our conformation Golden several years ago -- DH is very competitive (was?) and he loved it; me, not so much. I did enjoy seeing all the dogs and visiting with the people.
Yes I show Weejun. I have a Havanese who is dual registered. She earned her AKC Championship last September. She is also registered as a Havana Silk Dog and I just started to show her there. I don't particularly care for the politics but I have met some really nice people there. It is an outlet for me!
I am taking a Medical Transcription course on the days I take my DH to a day program (3-days-a-week); I am also going to Florida in early September (spur of the moment trip) to see my best friend & meet her 6-mth-old grand-bb ~ Looking forward to time away...I also like to lay by the pool, altho it's so hard to do...never know what I might find when I come back into the house if I leave DH for too long...but, sometimes he's content to "sit" and rest...I also recently read the book "STILL ALICE" and HIGHLY recommend it if you have not read it. It's "fiction", but I do believe it is THE best book I've read so far that has to do with this disease, from the "diseased person's" point of view. Written by a neuroscientist...you can get it @ your local library, I bet. I don't normally "read" but I read it in less than 4 days, not reading ALL the time, of course. It even mentioned the FLURIZAN trial that my DH was a part of...it was written in 2007, so not too long ago. I also like to piddle in the garden and LOVE being outside ~ The sunshine is therapy for me ~
Bluedaze - I will actually be in Daytona & driving to/from Orlando for a couple of days for the visit with my friend. I know where Port St.Lucie is and perhaps another time when I am down there I'll go further South for a visit. I have a sister in Ft.Lauderdale & one in Titusville, but my mom is acutally in Daytona Beach. The friend I'm going to see lives in Miami, but she'll be in Orlando for a visit with her son & DIL & her grand-bb ~
Terry, have you been able to get back to Virginia since your visit in August? I don't think you ever posted about it,or about how your grandson is doing.
It was so strange reading this. It took multiple attempts to start any kind of needlework project. I'm actually working a bookmark in cross stitch. Don't manage to work on it every day, but after a day or two of not working on it, I pick it up again. And it looks like it will get finished.
What I'm missing is long stretches of stitches in one color. I'd probably be better off on a bigger project and I did put together one of those when I made the "kit" for the bookmark. So it might just be the next one I start.
Somehow, once my husband is in day care, which should happen in about 2 weeks, I'm going to find a group of friends to meet up with. Somehow. What I need is people more than anything else.
This morning I took a beautiful fine china cup and saucer out of a closet and will use it every morning for coffee instead of my usual nasty crockery mug.
Starling, I've found that the church has many group meetings and activities, as does the YWCA. Unfortunately, many of my friends are no longer ambulatory, or are dead. I can't think of anything nicer than going out for lunch with a friend, but it doesn't happen often any more. There are activities at local Community Centres, too. Let us know how you make out. Yes, like you, I need people more than anything else.
I also do counted cross stitch, mostly in the evenings while I watch TV. I have never been one to just watch TV....always had to read or cross stitch. Now I find it calms me. My husband starts Adult Daycare on Tuesday...I am hoping things will go well, then I will be able to do some things that I have missed.
Several times per week I print sudoku puzzles from - www.sudoku.org.uk/daily.asp - They are free and print nicely with large squares to write in. I find this very relaxing while watching TV. I also enjoy interacting with my pets: an elderly cat and a beautiful painted conure (small parrot with big personality). For obvious reasons I interact with one pet at a time :-)
READ is the biggie. Read everything--if there's writing on it I rad. Mosly though it's escape into suspense, espionage, romance, paranormal, history, science fiction, biography. Did I leave anything out--that too. Second is e-mail and coming to this site. Set limits on the work--evening is my time as much as possible. Play with the pets--whenever possible--all 3 cats, the dog (cat who barks--lol), and watch the fish--all 3 tanks. Take my respite 4 hours a month and make it special. A special event, activity, meal, whatever. Also knit and have a baby doll collection.
Also, am beginning to take time to make some someday plans. Someday I'll visit my sister in San Antonio. Someday I'll go on a cruise. ETC.
I read a lot; am on the computer a lot also with e-mails, FB and research. Do on-line surveys mostly in the evenings after DH is in bed. I also love to gourmet cook and I do a lot of that. Fortunately, DH still can appreciate most of it and loves to "help" me. I try lots of new recipes and toss the ones we don't like. I also use one of my good sets of china when I cook like this. I dress up the table. Yes, this is mostly for me because it's what I enjoy. Take my Millie out for walks at least 3 times a day and play with her inbetween.
I don't leave DH over an hour or so at a time, so I have to do stuff I enjoy here at home. And, I do love my home.