Nancy B, I can't imagine how mentioning going to church would be offensive to any one. I mention my church at times and so far have not had any negative reactions. I know not everyone believes in church or God and that is their perogative. Some of my best friends are church goers. LOL
Nancy B, if saying you go to church is offensive - then this site is not what I expected it to be. You aren't pushing your religion or suggesting that everyone should go to church, for crying out loud. I can't imagine why anyone would take offense to that. I know there are some on here who do not believe - and that's okay too. I didn't take offense when they have said that.
Mentioning going to church is not offensive. Neither is "My prayers are with you."
I had some very serious problems in the past with people preaching their religion, intimating that if others were not of the same religion as they, that those people were "on the path to Hell". I had people arguing, feelings hurt, and frankly, comments that offended me and others. That is why I do not allow religious discussions on this website.
However, there is a big difference between preaching/arguing about religions, and simply mentioning going to church or saying a prayer for someone, which is not a problem at all.
Every spouse/partner is welcome here, regardless of race, religion, or non-religion. It just is not a place to preach, discuss, or argue about the value of one's religion vs. another's religion. That is what I have tried to avoid.
So no one needs to be concerned about mentioning going to church/synagogue/mosque/or any other place of worship.
Joan- thank you for that explanation. I agree that discussions or arguing and preaching do not belong here. As a note to support you, I just learnt of a few state mottos that surprised me a lot. Ohio - With God, all things are possible. Florida- In God We Trust ( gee how original) probably copied off a dollar bill Arizona God Enriches Colorado- Nothing without Providence Kentucky- Let us be grateful to God South Dakota- Under God, people rule. American Samoa- Let God be first. So living in Florida, I guess I have to follow my state motto.......
Phranque, ... I knew Texans are supposed to be "All Action - Little Talk".. but I looked up our MOTTO (used to know all of that trivia)... and it is simply "FRIENDSHIP" Shouldn't a motto be a statement. "I'm surprised the motto isn't .."Draw!"
Hey Frank--------why didn't you come and cut my lawn?????? Just remembered what you do for a living, you could mow your way up here and back down again. We'll all house and feed you for a lawn cutting, lol!
Dr. called this morning...said to take 1/2 pill and 1 whole pill on alternate days. So rather than running on 50%, I'll be on 75%. Hopefully that will be the right amount. She wants to see me at EOM if I'm not 'fixed'.
I try really hard not to use words like that around the critters. A little more sensitivity, please, TJ (-: and I hope the new dosage does the trick for you.
I think I'm fix...I mean 'cured'. Felt fine today, except for a little sweating this morning. Spent 3 hours talking to an old friend who came over to sit while I got out and did some stuff. She was a member of DW's girls' bridge group.
What a good laught I've had. We are good in that we can make a big problem into a livable discomfort. AD has taught me so many good traits, but it sure was a hard way to learn. I am still confused about depression, anger, anxiety, loss of appetite, sleepyness, no get up and go. no gas in the tank, etc. We use all sorts of medicines like Lexpro, clonasapam, seratail seraquill, pain pills, etc. Let's just find a cure for AD and all our depression will go away.
But in the meantime, lets get fixed, cured spayed, balanced, PMA seminars, etc.
TJ I think your post has helped a lot of your friends. Thanks. bill
I think everyone is different, but for me, the stress and anxiety put me in the hospital 4 times, two surgeries, and two other emergency room visits ending with a few days in the hospital. My doctor said with my health issues and the stress of all that was happening in my life, DH having to retire 2 years before his full retirement, loosing our home, having to move away from my children and grandchildren, and then caring for my 84 year old father, and trying to care for my mother who lives in a different town, to name just some of the garbage, that I really needed to do something to get me through. I started on Wellbutrin, which has helped me so much. I do still cry, I still get upset, but not like before, and at least now there are some "sort of" good days. I was always against taking meds for depression, but...for now that is how I get through it. So glad your feeling better TJ
I know I'll get some flak for this admission.....but, I don't want to take any more medication for anything but arthritis at times. I have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.....but not at the extreme end of it. I've taken a lot of courses in how to handle myself, recognizing triggers, coping skills, etc. I'm weaning myself off of the Prozac, Clonazapam, Ambien. I don't want to be dependent on these things any longer!!!!!! I want to live my life in my own personality, good bad or evil. I feel like I'm at a pretty even keel right now, even with all that's going on. Maybe because i keep so damn busy. No TIME to think about anything going on within myself?
Jen, Just be sure to coordinate with your doctor before doing the cutting back.And trust good friends to help monitor for changes you might not recognize yourself. I have taken antidepressants for many many years. I started when my oldest was 13. She is now 42. There have been times when I felt I was doing great and decided to go off the meds. When my kids started saying, "Mom, PLEASE go back on your meds" I realized I would be taking a "maintenance doseage" for probably the rest of my life. They have been a lifesaver throughout this ordeal. In my case depression or manic depression runs in a majority of my family. Both brothers are on antidepressants, as is my younger sister. And my older sister was before she passed away from cancer. She is the one who recognized it in me. She told my husband at the time to get me to a phychiatrist NOW, or she was flying up from Texas where she lived to Montana where I lived at the time and taking me herself. Gave him about two days to get the appt made. One of my daughters is on antidepressants and I often wonder if the other one should be. So, like I say, be very careful. Sometimes we just don't recognize the symptoms and changes in ourselves unless we have some one as kind of a barometer (Like my nagging kids) :-)
gmaewok.....I know. I understand. I've been on SO MANY medications for SO MANY years. NA member, diagnosed with bi-polar disorder (but not an extreme, in my case...and exacerbated by the situational depression due to these family issues and my husband's illness). I've understood that bi-polar disorder is almost 100% hereditary. Scarey. My daughter has had a most horrific time in dealing with it and finding correct medications. My son took his own life. My husband was diagnosed many, many years ago (when it was called Manic Depressive Disorder) and never would do anything about it ...... too proud. His father took his own life at the age of 61 after loosing everything in the depression era. My father believes himself to be affected. I've had a wide range of psychological treatments and learned to understand and recognize my 'triggers' for the manic and depressive episodes. AND my daughter keeps a keen eye on me recently. She calls me every day to see how I'm doing, emotionally. She knows me like her own skin. I can trust her warnings as well as those of my father. I've let my docs know what I'm doing......they have me on a gradual withdrawal. Any problems, I'm to call immediately.
Well put, gmaewok, and your comment about needing a barometer makes so much sense and got me to thinking that some of us on this site may not have much close interaction with others so we can even be helpful to each other in that way. We get to know one another pretty well on Joans and if one of us starts sounding way off from the usual we could gently inquire...
Does this make sense to ya'll? Trying to think of an example -- best one I can come up with is if Folly suddenly started talking trash about cats -- we'd be concerned.
My dad is especially good at knowing when I'm at one end of the barometer or approaching the other. He lets me know immediately. My councelors as well. As alone as I am, I guess I have a pretty good system, such as it is, in place. HEY, I just read something on the MSN homepage (I read all my headline news there) that says "a new study shows that women who are forlorn are at greater risk of developing disease". I've read that about depression and Alzheimer's too. Scarey, huh? I need to find my daily dose of happy somewhere, anywhere I can get it! My animals help, folly*!
folly have no clue what you did but they are having some fun picking on you today! its true though, folly does love her critters bigtime, like many of us. :) divvi
It's all Weejun's doing. She was suggesting we all need to keep an eye on each other. If we notice one of us is turning into a whack job, we need to let that person know. For instance, if you, divvi, started complaining about squirrels trying to take over your balconies, and had called an exterminator, we would know you're teetering on the edge and need to adjust your meds. We all know dealing with AD can make us crazy (-:
Don't know what I'd do without my animals...from my pet Love Bird, "Bruce", the Koi in my ponds, my barn cats, two hounds and Border Collie, my indoor kittie, "Rip" and all the ponies....that's my family. I dote on them all. Even at the expense of my own needs. They're the only beings that have stayed by my side (except for the Koi and other fishes...they keep doing death dives over the edge of the ponds...to be found stiff in the morning), through all of this. Even when I'm "melodramatic" (?) and crying out, it doesn't scare them away. They stay close and comforting (especially the dogs), and non-judgemental. They don't 'guess at' or try and paraphrase anything I'm trying to say. They just are here for me to love and be loved....and are thriving. Today, I'm shaving my Border Collie to make him more comfortable. He has very bad arthritis from a bout with Lyme disease a few years ago and is getting old. Barn kitty is better, eating. I gave her a 'surgical shave' where her wound was (NOW SHE HAS NO WHISKERS ON THAT SIDE!), cleaned it up, gave meds. See, after years of attending to all my animals, I've learned SOMEthing from all the vetting that's been done around here! (I remember reading this one day...."the more I get to know people, the better I like my dog") Going on outside now to help a neighbor, create some happiness and think about ways to enhance my future.
TJ - when you see your dr at end of month which I guess is THIS MONTH? ask her what she thinks about adding Wellbutrin to the lower dosage of the generic Zoloft you're on. That is IF you think you are truly helped by it. The Wellbutrin will counteract the lethargy and drowsiness and when it works it brightens your days, makes you better able to focus. It is not an SSRI which Zoloft, Pazil, Lexapro, Celexa, Prozac and others are. Tiredness and lethary is a common side effect of the SSRIs in many people. The cocktail of Wellbutrin with one of the SSRIs is very common.
I've had much experience with anti-depressants having had a few significant bouts with Major Depressive Disorder (the medical term for "clinical depression") over the years. I've never stayed on an anti-depressant for more than 2 years until DH's symptoms started seriously affecting our marriage in 2006 and I'm still on them. Within 6 weeks when I'm on an effective one my crying jags will be broken. They can truly save a person's life just for that intervention when things are really bad. My father was a suicide in his late 50s and my sister also suffers from depression, so I'm a believer it's genetic. I recommend anyone taking one or considering it to research them. Some are considered more effective at controlling anxiety or OCD for instance. I remember years ago when I first felt effects of Prozac. My boss at the time was an insulting person and I was always personally hurt by his remarks and would feel hurt, angry, victimized, etc. One day he made one of his typical remarks which would usually have devastated me and my reaction was so different I was stunned. I heard him. It registered with me that he was making an insensitive remark but I felt a buffer and was able to see it as his problem and shake it off. THIS AT THE TIME WAS HUGE! When they're working it can be like that with dementia and my reactions to the various aspects of it.
Recent studies seem to be showing that they're not that effective on people who don't have major depressive disorder. Don't know how I feel about that but know they have saved my life as there have been times I did not want to live it was so bad. Times I wouldn't get up for 7 days at a stretch, not to take a bath, put on clothes, nothing. And then crying would have seemed like a welcome as I just felt dead like post traumatic syndrome and I can best describe it as the complete and total loss of any desire for anything or anyone. A few months ago after suffering some bad episodes I was put on Cymbalta and taken off the Lexapro as it had clearly stopped working. I felt better in 2 weeks and in 6 weeks, WHAM, the darkness returned suddenly. The doctor doubled my dose and I'm feeling substantially better. But remember these drugs are very personal. It sometimes takes a long time to find the right one or the right combination.
And BTW, Wellbutrin does not bring any loss of libido which is why so many people switch to it. I couldn't take it because of unusual side effects with me but for the months I was on it combined with an SSRI it was a big big help.
Oh, and there are new ones coming out all the time, so for anyone wrestling with this issue, do your research and don't give up. IF YOU DO NOT CARE WHETHER YOU LIVE OR DIE THERE IS HELP - GET IT!