Well I had my first tour of a nursing facility/locked AD unit. When we walked through the locked doors the odor hit me. I knew to expect it but reality is harsh. The director of the facility was in a motorized wheel chair and my H kept trying to push it for her. That would have been funny any other day. I thought I was holding together rather well until my sister asked me, "gee, did that make you feel bad?" I just started sobbing like someone had died. It was a rough day.
Thanks, Terry, I hadn't thought of looking at them on the internet first. That is a good idea. (Much too early, but since we've been prompted to do things sooner rather than later . . .)
jules--I agree with moorsb, the odor would be an immediate turnoff. I thought that in today's world, that type of thing wasn't an issue anymore. Am i naive?
marilyninMD, that is exactly what my sister said. There are ways to deal with odor and she is a nurse in the hospital that sends people to this nursing facility. I would have a hard time going to visit at this place let alone leave my H there. So I renew my efforts to hire people to come in and help me. I think if I can just get a break I can keep doing this for a while.
jules, just keep looking and visiting until the one that makes you comfortable. My dad was in a VA unit and it was excellent. No smells just lots of cheerful things and staff members. It was locked but I could enter any time of day or nite and take him out with me on outings.
jules, keep looking, there should be no ordor. believe me, I know the pain you're going through and how emotionally wrenching it is to visit places. You are doing the right thing by going before you need to place your DH. Many places have waiting lists, so if you find one that you like and it has a list, put your name on it. If you still don't need it when they call, you remain on the list (you don't lose your place) and they skip to the nxt person. Last summer when they would not release my DH to home, I had 2 weeks to find a suitable facility - one that met his needs and one that met mine. I saw 20 ALZ/NH in 2 weeks. I can tell you that is not how you want to find a place. Fortunately DH is home with 24/7 care.
Good luck - and yes, I cried as we left each facility.
my dh is in a medical care facility and it is clean, doesn`t smell unless someone has a poop then it is cleaned up right away, always see nurses` aids changing depends and cleaning beds, I am very happy with the place, but of course he hates it and says he wants out. we have a small place here and I was told by friend who works there not to put him there, she says the residents are not treated well there, she wants to quite but loves her residents so stays to give them loving care. When we went to visit last night some of the women were in a bad mood, so there is this nurse who is a real happy lady and she was singing with them and joking around of course my dh tells me to tell them to shut the h--- up, of course we know it`s the ad talking he would not even swear before. so jules keep looking there are good nh out there, hope you can find one close to you, it takes me ten mins. to get to ours. Gail
My husband is in a small local facility. The place is very clean, no smell, and the staff and activity aides do a wonderful job of taking care of the residents and trying to keep them happy and occupied. My husband is basically unable to show reaction as he can not speak or communicate in any way, but he seems calm and accepting of the situation and does not become agitated or try to leave with me. He is doing well. I am the basket case. There ARE good facilities out there.
Good news, I have a lady coming tomorrow who works in an assisted living facility but wants to supplement her income by working for private pay people several days a week. I have my fingers crossed that she is an angel sent to save my sanity. I asked the universe to send help so perhaps this is it. Cross your fingers everyone, for me.
I think I have toured about 15 or 20 facillities. One of the "better ones" had urine odor - badly - and they explained it by saying the people were clean and dry, but they hadn't had time to toss the diapers in the outside dumpster...and they were in large garbage bags together in one area. HELLO! That was a valid excuse?? Not in my book.
I did learn that the staff is forewarned when we were visiting..and it was so apparent to me. Suddenly everything was busy busy... One resident asked my daughter if she had permission to go back into her room for a minute and then she'd return to the chair where we told her to sit. :-) She thought my daughter was a staff person. Always be aware that the marketing people are paid on commission...and their job is to sell the facility...not to care for the patients.