My DH has showed a mean side to him that I have never seen ever! Yesterday I had a nurse visit for 4 hours 2of the 4 I went out in the afternoon so he will get used to me not being home when the nurse is there. I asked the nurse while I was gone to make him lunch and stated she should eat with him to get him to eat. Anyway when I came back home he nearly took my head off and did not only eat his lunch ( he said he doesn't need anyone to make him a sandwich he can make his own ?@# **&&%$ &%$# he did not eat breakfast....didn't drink all day....did not watch tv. This went on all day very aggressive towards me . When it was dinner time I made dinner and asked for him to come down and eat once he ate with me and our daughter, he started up again it was so bad I was going to not sleep in the same room with him ( which would have been the first time since I"ve been with him) WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THIS HAPPEn?
angelb, unfortunately this is one of the ugly things all of us face. Some of us just ignore until it goes away, some have had to call the police, if you search for agression you will find lots of helpful threads on this topic. How old is your daughter?? you can also call the doc this morning and tell him what happened. In my case, it happens more during and the few days right before the moon is full than any other time. But when it does happen, I am so shocked!! this is not the man I married. Did the nurse offer you any insight into his behavior while you were gone?
Unfortunately, this is part of Alzheimer's Disease, and most of us learn it the hard way, since it is NOT what we expected when we found out we would be dealing with Alzheimer's Disease.
It happened to us, and as my regular readers know, it just about destroyed me. Please log onto my home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - look on the left side, and click on Previous Blogs. Read # 179, 209, 227,261, and 262.
Medication is the answer. Document the incidents, explain the situation to his neurologist, and ask for medication to calm him down. Putting Sid on Risperdal is the only thing that saved my sanity.
I only had one dangerous event. I'm one of the ones who called the police. Most of the time what I'm dealing with is simple grumpiness and I walk away and come back again later and it is mostly gone.
You need to look to figure out if it is aggression or depression, and then call the doctor. If it is going on more than you can deal with or if it is dangerous get medication. If you are frightened for your safety or the safety of your daughter, then call 911 and ask to have him taken to the hospital. That is what the Alzheimer's Association told me to do if I had a second event (didn't happen in my case).
By the way, if you need medication to stay even, get it. I've been offered medication for my husband and myself by both my doctor and my husband's doctor, both of whom "get it" on depression. They are in the same practice so his doctor could look at my records before he prescribed for me, and visa versa.
angelb, I too endured anger which often resulted in physical violence. Finally, I had to call the police. He ended up in a psych hospital for 4 months before they got the right combination of meds to control his aggression. Seroquel has helped us tremendously. Call the doctor and explore medication options because it will truly help.
AngelB, do you think he was angry about your leaving him with a "babysitter"? This threatens his sense of self-worth and his anger is perhaps his only way of expressing his fear of what is happening to him. I agree with those above who have advised you to go for medication, and to be prepared to call the police if necessary. The advice for dealing with the rage at the moment it occurs is to : -- not argue, not confront, -- use eye contact, speak slowly and calmly, agree and sympathize with him as much as possible -- and, if violence seems threatened, keep your distance. -- Try to distract with other activities, outings, or topics of conversation. Sometimes this has helped me. (But I'm also working on the medication.)
this week I'm going to get signed up for Home Instead. The plan will be that a helper will come to help ME in the house.. Thats the only way I can imagine that DH would accept having anyone here. I don't know what to expect, but at least it will be a start...I won't be making attempts to leave until he gets accustomed to having this person 'show up' on a regular basis.. then I'll have to make an excuse to be gone for a few hours.. then maybe a day.. This will probably take months.. but we have increased the Risperadone and now he's taking .75 ..I want to think its helping.. but we may be in a lull since the last uproar.
Judy, that idea is brilliant! I'm not sure about dosing on Risperdal, Jim is on Seroquel, but I do know that there is ususally enough wiggle room with these anger management drugs to get the job done. When one doesn't work, another ususally will. Remember: Better living through Pharmacology!