My DH just crossed over into stage 6 AD. I have to leave today for St. Louis. I will be there all week on business. I decided that the best thing for my dh was to place him in respite care while I am gone. I placed him yesterday in an assisted living facility yesterday for one week.

I had started introducing the idea to him on Thursday evening saying I was going on a business trip for 7 days. He was very worried about who would take care of him. I assured him that I loved him very much and I would make sure he was well taken care of. I left it at that. Friday, the subject came up again. I again let him know that I would be gone on a business trip for 7 days and would make sure he was taken care of. He asked if my mother (the nice lady who lives here) would take care of him and I told him no, she had to work. I let him know that I was looking into a particular place where he could stay and take a little vacation. He wasn't too happy but seemed ok. Come Saturday, he did not want to go. He was physically backing up when I told him it was time to go. I believe it it had not been for my daughter, nephew and mom being there, he would of given me a really bad time. I walked over and gently took his hand and said it was time to go.

The ride was only 5 minutes but it seemed like eternity. He was arguing that it was only a week and why couldnt he stay home by himself. I was saying it was only 1 week and that I would be back in no time. Once we got there, we waited in the lobby for the nurse. He was scared and I could see it in his eyes. He didn't want to be there. I had visited earlier in the day and set up his space in his room with some pictures and clothes, etc. He was very stand offish. He saw his flight pictures (I made copies of his pride and joy pictures) and started talking to the nurses and I saw him light up. He even jumped on the bed like a little kid to look at the pictures. I then left the room. He followed me out and I gave him a hug, let him know I loved him and lost it. Tears pouring down my face. It was too much for me but yet he seemed ok.

I got no less than 28 phone calls from him last night. I only answered about 7 of them. With the exception of one phone call, all calls were about me coming to pick him up and take him home. The one phone call was about 2 men he met that were also pilots. He was very excited about those conversations. However, the biggest theme was he wanted to come home. I went through the same story again, I was going to St. Louis on business and would be gone for 7 days. I would be back to pick him up next Saturday morning. Every message he left indicated he wanted to come home. They didn't know what they were doing. That they wanted him to put him to work. His room was too hot. He was dying. His body was shutting down. The them shifted about 20 calls in to I got my wish, I wanted to get rid of him and now he is gone. Since we are not together anymore, I am free to find another man, etc.

I am so tired today. I'm finishing up laundry, packing and heading to the airport. I still know in my heart that it was the right thing to do. It doesn't help your heart when it breaks though.

Bless your broken heart, Diane. I pray the week flies by and you are soon reunited. You just did what you had to do. Be strong. Hugs to you and rope if ya need it.

You just went through what I know I'm going to be doing within a few months. I was really interested in how you handled it. His arguments sound so familiar. I sure don't envy you, but I so admire your ability to stick to it. I'm anxious to hear how he greets you at the end of the week. Good luck on your business trip. If there is a way to see any sights, St. Louis is a lovely city, The Arch, the botanical gardens, the waterfront. I love it but not at this time of year. Stay cool! :)

Diane I'm proud of you! You've set a great example of how to hang in there, even with the pressure to give in. Have a great trip it will be over before you know it.

I'm back after a week long trip in St. Louis. My DH did pretty good for the majority of the time. However, there were times that he didn't do very well. I think it was his sundowning time and/or a change in his schedule. I think I made the mistake of leaving him with a cell phone and my phone number. I received 28 phone calls the 1st day. I didn't answer all of the calls. His phone calls progressed from 'begging me to pick him up' . . . to 'I got what I wanted and I was free to see other people' . . . to 'he knows I will never be there again so please drop off a car for him' . . . to he is dying and he won't be here when I come back. Day 2 went down to 14 phone calls. I didn't take all of these calls either. The theme here was 'call me back now' . . . to 'come take me home now, I'm dying and won't make it through the week'. Day 3 only had 5 phone calls early in the day and none after that. It was quite for 3 days. I called the ALF to check on him and he was doing fine. It turned out he kept losing the cell phone, imagine that, so they put it away. On day 6, they let him call me again, the themes didn't change. Day 7 was a different tactic. They were trying to kill him. He wasn't going to make it. He was losing weight and I was the only one who could help him. I didn't answer the phone calls but messages were there. He figured out how to use speed dialing and called my son-in-law and mother. He told them that I was trying to have him killed. I called the Alzheimer's Association and the ALF so that I knew how to respond in case he still thought I was trying to kill him. I felt prepared to pick him up

I picked him up this morning and he was sitting in front of the TV asleep -- what he typically does here. He was happy to see me. All in all, the begging was the toughest part especially since I was struggeling anyway. I am glad I did what I did. I never had such a restful week, even though it was work related. The toughest part was getting his phone calls and messages. He was heart broken and begging. I had never ever seen him that way. I know it will get worse over time but I know I have the strength to do what I need to do.

Thank you for all your encouragement and prayers. I know it helped tremendously!

Diane so glad that you were brave enough to stay the week.