DH is about 1/2 way through the CHANTIX (med) smoking ceasation (sp) program. With the "help" of his sister,it not going well. As I posted on another thread, he went walkabout (my term--NH calls it eloping) Sat. to the cigarette store around 7 am. They don't open until 9. He had to cross a 5 lane street going and coming back--not safe. Had to have Police locate him and bring him back. He was really weak when he got back, and he didn't walk the return trip. Have verified the procedure for getting him taken to the ER if this happens again. Have informed his Neuro-Psych's Office. Will be informing PCP Mon., when I see him. Upshot is, as his Guardian, if I cannot provide an environment that keeps him safe, and me safe too, he will have to be placed in an ALZ Unit (locked). The one place, I really like and accessible for me to get there, only has a small Alz unit and it is full up with women patients--cannot take him. There are very few units locally and no others with Medicaid beds--except Assisted Living places which are all private pay. He would have to go to a NH at least 30 mins. away or further--out of range for me to visit or keep tabs on. Any suggestions on what to do?
Carol-I don't remember if your husband is on MA. My husband is in a very nice dementia only ALF. They are now accepting Medicaid just to keep beds filled in tight times. Your local ones might be willing to negotiate. My husband is private pay and when they raised the rate I said no way-they backed down.
Yes he's on a Medicaid Waiver Program now and would be going to Medicaid bed in whatever NH.
What you're saying makes sense, but first indications are the ALFs here don't shift over to Medicaid until a couple years down the road. Start out Private Pay.
Gosh, Carol, that is putting it on the line, ? i guess you have to consider his eloping that like is really not safe or in his best interest like they say. of course you know that upfront that he will attempt it again at some point . its always rough having to find suitiable places on a moments notice as we tend to not want to think of this as a now issue but 'later' - i am very sorry its come to this but maybe you will find something closer soon and if its has to be a bit further out it wont be for long. i am sure some places will work with you knowing your situation and his.I do hope you have a case worker who can advise and help you with this-divvi
Divvi is right - you need a case worker on this. When we went through this with my MIL, she always went to the hospital first for a fall or some emergency. It was the hospital social worker who worked things out with Medicaid and the nursing homes. Also, check with your Elder Law Attorney (if you have one). There are people who can help if you make enough noise.
We also have a hospital social worker doing all the searching for a NH for Jim. He has been inpatient in a psych unit for 2 weeks now. They have to keep him until a bed is found, I may have to travel as far as 90 mins or more to start with!
Carol...maybe for saftey reasons you could place him where they have a bed right now. Then put his name on the waiting list at the facilities you like that are closer.My dh's first placement was 2 hours away. Luckily that only lasted a few days. I was able to get him within 20 miles of home. He remained there for several months until a new place 6 miles from here opened. I know that sounds like a lot of moving but he has adjusted well. I'm fortunate that he is one of the sweet ones. Good Luck cs
From this and earlier checking, there are very few Locked units with Medicaid beds locally, and also available, and for a man. Plus my problem with distances is that I can't drive and public transpo doesn't go so far. If the closest far one isn't available we're talking and hour or 2-3 away. I'm not so worried about moves to bring him back closer, as the fact that we've gone through so much to get the right meds at the right strength, and the NH would most likely be making changes I'd want to have knowledge of, especially since so many have been eliminated. He shouldn't be put through changes trying them over again. I'm truly not trying to throw objections at any ideas. Just trying to get all the pieces on the table.
Carosi, do you have a relative or someone you could hire to come in for the times the other caregivers aren't' there? Would that help? I agree, that one of the things I'm most afraid of when sending my husband to a facility is that they will fiddle with his meds and distress him. He shouts loudly sometimes when he's afraid of falling or something - they put him on meds to shut him up when he was last in the hospital and I had to wean him off.
Our income is too limited to hire anyone for anything. The in-home help hours for him come throught the waiver program. My four personal care hours through the County dedicated millage for Senbior Services, to enable them to stay in their homes. My little job made a huge differrence for us, but it was eliminated last October.It netted $400 a month take home, and was set up for me to work from home. Nothing like that available now, even if I could fit into the daily schedule. Besides, main time I'd need someone would be from about 11 pm-7 am.
Carosi can you contact both the people who give you inhome help and tel them you are trying to get him placed due to flight risks. tell them you are working on this but til then you have your own handicaps and cant have a deadbolt installed to protect him from fleeing again. maybe they can allow you more inhome help and more hrs you need til they place him?? i think maybe they could find a way to offer more help if you explain? divvi
I'll be talking to our Area Agency caseworker, soon. I've been trying to be sure we were still on the waiting list at the one site, and just got info from the Neuro/Psych Office this week, so these issues have just landed in my lap, since the first of the week--one after another.
Wow, Carosi. I'm sorry to be reading about this but its helping me toooo. We just went through a few weeks of turmoil here..Things have calmed down but we've made the contacts for home help..and placement. I really don't know what I'm doing..and right now things are calm.. It won't last.
We'll get back into a flurry again but I was told by the ALF (for dementia),that because I am the WIFE with a POA, I don't need guardianship for placement OR for the psych hospital. At least it seems that you do have some guidance from caseworker people. Not sure I'd ever get my DH into the neuropsych dr.'s office again.
We have to remove the ability to DRIVE on our property before I think we could ask someone to come stay (home instead). Its a double edged issue as long as we live here and he has the capacity (functional) to shift gears.. All of this is preposterous but in an effort to keep him here and 'content' (?) , he drives to the barn and back. However, just like your DH taking off at 7:00 a.m. etc. We've had two 'driveoff's' now..and I know he'll do it again given the right circumstances. This week has been calm and much better but its only a reprieve.
Carosi, I have no concrete advice to add to what's already been said, but please know you have always had my deep admiration for your creative ability to deal with adversity, and you and your hubby have my prayers as your situation becomes increasingly difficult. Hugs.
Speaking of concrete advice for Judy, can you put barriers or build a wall so that he can drive ONLY back and forth between the house and barn? Or what about putting one of those disabling switches in, so that he can only do that drive to the barn when YOU hit the hidden switch?