On the 17th I had my hearing checked. I've lost another 10 decibles and none of my hearing is within the normal range. So, had my hearing aids reprogrammed, cleaned up and I'm now all set. Gradually making the adjustment--learning to ignore all the side noise--traffic, water funning. But some of it is so pretty. I love the birds singing. And Noche's meow is lowder now.
Then on the 18th, I took a bad fall. I told you all about that. I'm still all bruised and battered but healing.
Then on Thursday, the 23rd, I went to the opthomologist. Had a thorough check up. He didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, but what he did do was to put it into clear words and now I can't ignore it. He told me I am now legallly blind in both eyes. There is nothing he can do and there is nothing anyone else can do. He said my central vision was completely atrophied and the sight I have is all peripheal. He wants me to go out to the community center for the blind and low vision and get some orientation and mobility traioning. He also said I needed to be using a white cane.
I know I should be grateful for what I have but, gee, I feel just terrible aobut tis. DH is getting worse by the day. I don't want to complain about my situation, but I do think I'm in qite a pickle here.
I already have little 'dots' on my keyboard so I can tell where the 'enter', backspace, escape', etc. are located. I also have them on mly stove for the timer and oven, and all that good stuff. I already knew he was going to tell me that. I don't know why the actuallity of it is hurting me.
I'm glad that you have this place to come to, so that we can all hold you in our thoughts and prayers. It seems to me you're such a feisty lady that you will handle this, too, with your usual grace and style. Shocking news, yes, but watch Mawsy triumph. Much love.
Oh Mawzy, I'm so sorry. I admired how well you managed before with neither of you able to drive. It's hard for me to know what to say. Is it possible for you to move into an assisted living apartment with your husband - or anywhere that you can get more help? A place where there's assisted living for you and a dementia care unit where your husband can go when he needs to would be ideal. Then you could be close to him without having to figure out transportation. I don't remember exactly what your situation is now, so I'm sure someone else will have other ideas. Just wanted you to know someone was listening. Keep posting.
I so sorry to hear about your eyesight having deteriorated more. I think in our heads we know but when someone who knows says it out loud it makes it REAL. Again, I'm sorry.
Mawzy, you are an amazing woman, and one of the sweetest ladies I've had the privilege of knowing. I just wish I was close enough to help you out. If there is anything that we can do long distance, please tell us!!! You know you have our love, our prayers, and our hugs. And you know how we count on YOU to be here for us, so please tell us how we can help you! (((HUGS)))
Oh, my dear, my thoughts are with you. I started to say, I'm worried about you, but I'm not really - because I know how you've come through everything soooo well in the last year. Hugs, that's understood. But I know you'll conquer all!! you're just that kind of person!
Aw, Mawzy, you've been juggling things so well. I'm sorry to hear about this setback. You're so right, it's one thing to "know" but another when it is formalized/finalized by a professional. You're allowed to complain, who wouldn't? You're in my prayers.
I absolutely agree with Janet. It's time for a move to a place where you both can get help. You can't continue to go this alone. Call Elder Care services in your area - there is a link to it on my home page on the left side. Put in your zip code, and they will direct you to somewhere near you. Assisted Living would be ideal, because both you and your husband would be taken care of. I would try for a place that has a dementia unit, in case AL isn't enough for him.
If you have the finances, get an elder law attorney and a financial advisor on the case. If you don't have the funds, get a Medicaid specialist on the case.
You can't do this alone anymore, and it's not complaining to ask for help.
Oh, Mawzy, how awful for you to have to hear that. Others' advice about living arrangements makes sense. When you're ready, tell us more about your situation. Is the vision stable or will it continue to deteriorate? The answer will be useful as you make your future plans. Please follow drs recommendation about the orientation and mobility training. Big hugs to you.
Mawzy,' "You can't do this alone anymore, and it's not complaining to ask for help." As I know only to well, there comes a time when you just HAVE TO ASK FOR HELP. Most towns and cities have community centers where they can direct you to a free legal service and advice on assisted living in the area. Once they here the situation that you are in, I'm sure they will go out of their way to help. Keep posting, we will keep sending postitive vibes. Arms around, Susan
Mawsy, i agree you need to start preparing now for both your needs and limitations. if you have family consult with them and see how suggestions they can offer as well. sometimes moving closer to family in these situations is a good move too. or like suggested assisted living. good luck. divvi
So sorry to hear you got your fears confirmed Mawsy. Good advice above. Need to plan for the future, right? Wishing you the best of luck in finding helpful resources.
((mawsy)) that had to be very difficult to hear. I do hope you will take advantage of the special training, and take the advice of all of those here who care so much about you. ((hugs))
When you go to the community center for the training ask them for any ideas and referrals they might have to help your situation. The more contacts you make, the more chances you have for help, or more connections toward that goal.
Mawsy, so sorry to hear about your fall, and then your eyesight. I agree with the others that you can't keep doing everything all by yourself. Wish I were closer and could help. Moving to a place where you could get more help is probably a good idea. Hope you will be able to still read and respond here. {{{Hugs}}}
Thanks for all your responses. I talked with my wonderful friend in New Mexico this evening for over 2 hours. We hadn't talked for several months. Just e-mails back and forth. I toldl her the situation. And her comment back was "well, we knew this day was coming, didn't we." Of course, we did. I was just hoping it wouldn't be so soon. Here's the plan we came up with.
I'll call the center for the blind and low vision tomorrow morning (I've been out there twice before) and tell them I now need some kind of orientation training. Like how to peel a potato without cutting the skin off mhy thumb I've done that so many times now that I don't peel potatoes any more. We eat them with the skins on. Better for you anyway :)
and how to pour a cup of coffee or a glass of juice without spilling it all over the place. Tat kind of thing.
Once I get that kind of stuff under control and feel more in control, things will be better. I have already done financial planning, special needs will, etc. Cremation all in place. Bank accounts, etc.
I'm going to have all my bills mailed to the bank for them to pay.
My comuter is set up for a narator. It'll work
I'll keep you all posted and thanks, again, for all your support.
I often go to the kitchen in the night to get more water in my glass from the dispenser on the refrigerator door.
I place my index finger inside the glass and when I feel the water, I know it's "full enough". I bet you do that already. It's easier to do with chilled water than hot coffee, I'll be the first to admit.
How do you read our emails, Mawsy? Bless your heart, I knew you had vision problems, but didn't realize the depth of your problem. Do you have Macular Degeneration. My sister in law has that.
Mawzy - So sorry to hear about this situation...very very hard, considering your DH and all you are dealing with with him...Your sense of humor is a blessing and encouragement to me, personally. I will keep you in my prayers and am really glad to read your "plan of action". I 'm glad you have a good friend to talk it over with and it sounds like she was encouraging to you as well. Take care of YOU!! Hang in there!!
Wow Mawzy, that was quite a week you had. Sorry for all the difficulties you have to deal with. Sounds like you are very good at organizing things and, like so many times before, you have all
your ducks in a row. Wish I could do more but can only send good vibes and positive thoughts your way!!!!!!
Mawzy, I am kind of late in posting but I have said a prayer that God will help you through all of this and comfort and strengthen you. I don't always reply to the posts but I always say a prayer for anyone having a difficult time. Take care Mawzy and God bless.
Mawzy, I too am kind of late posting but, bless your heart, you are really on top of things. Great. I hope the orientation helps and keeps you both as independent as you would like to be. I'm praying for both of you.
Oh Mawzy, I am so sorry to hear of your problems. We will be praying for you. I do agree with those above who suggested Assisted Living. it would be good for you, and for your DH and would allow you to take care of yourself. Give it some thought.
mawzy...My mother had macular degeneration and handled it very well. She continued to live at home and take care of my father who had parkinsons. We had to take her to do all her errands and shopping etc. She was at the grocery store in the afternoon and had a stroke later that night and died. I still smile sometimes when I think about those trips. She was a terrible back seat driver and was always telling me I was going to hit something and she wanted to pick out her own apples without any help. I will admit I sometimes sneaked a bad apple back and replaced it with a good one.
Mawzy, you are doing a terrific job at setting things up for the two of you. Yes, you did know where you are with your vision, I've been there, it is still hard to hear it from someone else. In my case, my audiologist told me that I need to consider using a microphone here at work for meetings where I cannot hear. I knew I was having more problems, I even knew about microphones as an option but I am still balking and trying not to have to deal with that change.
Unfortunately, it is what it is and it sounds like you are well on the road to making good choices and dealing with the changes. There are some wonderful suggestions above good luck on finding the right choices for you.
Mawzy, I'm glad to hear you have a plan. My mom and my uncle have macular degeneration and for sure, my uncle has taken advantage of every device offered by the services for the blind. The question of what if..we are unable to do the caregiving and what if WE need care as well..is a serious and scary proposition if we aren't prepared. Sounds silly coming from me.. because I'm feeling really unprepared anyway.. BUT I'm confident that YOU will be and you'll find resources and take advantage of all the training that is offered. Thank you too, Mawzy for being helpful to me as well as so many others here. Assisted living if that is possible, sounds like a great benefit for both of you.
Mawzy--My Dad, who was 95 last week, is also legally blind--his is due to macular degeneration. However, he was still able to be my Mom's main caregiver and took care of her 24/7 until she passed away 6 years ago. He used many of the low vision aids that are available, which you may already have--talking clocks, talking watch, talking scale (it has a British accent). His favorite was a reading machine that you can magnify papers or books with--many cost thousands of dollars, but he was able to find one for about $300. If you're interested, I can try to find out the name and contact information. He also used the tapes and tape player from the Library for the Blind; there was even a service that you call on the phone and people read newspapers and magazine articles. There are treatments for macular that a retina specialist can do--I don't think they restore vision in most people, but can keep them from progressing. Good luck to you.