When my husband is just going to sleep, he begins to have very detailed conversations with imaginary people. He's very animated and waves his hands with gestures. It's clear and I can understand him which is odd because he can't converse when he is awake. Since he also has cancer, I don't know if it's a part of the cancer which may have spread to the brain or if it's something common with AD. Have any of you had this experience?
This is not unusual for people w/AD. My husband talked all the time to that 'nice man' in the bathroom mirror. He talked to figurines, he saw others, and I'd tell 'them' to go away, they usually did. And, yes, they can speak more clearly when asleep or when singing a song or w/someone imaginary, but not when you are trying to have a conversation. I have no explanation, just the way it is.
my husband also sees lots of imaginary figures at bedtime. even sleeping he moves his hand as if hes touching something. i have heard its worse with a full moon! gravity or something. he was talking alot with this last full moon. he also talks and laughs and jokes with statues around the house and our pets. there is a long mirror at the end of hall and he really enjoys talking to the guys in it. he has no clue its him. maybe since i let his hair go naturally gray now he doesnt recognize himself. he does know me still amazingly. as long as its not frightening to him i think its ok. hallucinations is part of AD. i do think they have an insight we dont- on more than one occasion he has told me his deceased family members visit him regularly. i hope that is true. it gives me comfort. Divvi
I have been "lurking" for a few months now but I am so glad someone brought up this subject. It is one of the hardest things I'm dealing with right now. My DH talks to mirrors everywhere, anywhere there is a reflection - he stops and talks to it. Unfortunately,it is not always a "pleasant" conversation. He gets mad at yells at him or accuses the person of the most vile things. In January, he had an acute escalation of AD and ended up in the hospital for a week where they ran a battery of tests but finally decided, it was just the disease. Up until that time, we were dealing with it, still going out in public, having dinner out, etc. But now, I'm afraid to take him out for any length of time, as I don't know what he will say. Last week I finally took him for a haircut, and it was constant talking to all the mirrors in the barber shop. In the middle of his haircut, he yelled out, "All Rise". The cat was out of the bag then and I explained to everyone what was happening - they were all very kind. I don't know what stage he is in and it really doesn't matter, I guess. I'm still working so have a caregiver with him all day. I'm also taking care of my parents who are in their 90's but I have great support from my two children and my friends - so I'm luckier than most. But, it still sucks and I'm angry that we won't have the retirement we dreamed about.
When I first knew I would be dealing with AD I read a few books. One said that mirrors can be a problem and a solution is to have them covered with something. I thought at the time if that happened to us I would get someone who paints on store windows to put something pleasant on them. I guess it could be a solution at home, but obviously not in public.
My DH is in a NH now, but, when I was caring for him, he would look in the mirror and sometimes just carry on a conversation, but, then there were times he would "Yell at the person in the mirror, Who are you, I don't know you". This would get scary for me because I did not know if he would get to a very aggitated stage and try to hit at the person in the mirror and break it. I was either going to put some large decorative type stickers on the mirrors or totally cover them. Also, there were times he would stand at the glass storm door,see his reflection in the glass and start yelling at it. One time he got so aggitated he starting hitting the glass. But, unfortunately, my DH got to a point in the AD where I could no longer care for him at home, so, none of the stickers or covering the mirrors, etc. were necessary. My husband also tries to reach for things in the air or tries to pick things up off the floor, that are not there.
Yes, the full moon made a big difference in the way my DH would act. About two days before the full moon, the full moon and one day after, he would wander more, get more aggitated, alot more confused, etc. I know exactly when the full moon is coming upon us as his behavior does change. I thought I was the only one that noticed this, but, talking with the CNA's and Nurses at the NH, they all say that they are very aware of this and yes, the behavior in the residents do change, especially the ones with AD. No one ever mentioned to me about the changes during the full moon that a person with AD could experience. I just started noticing that during this period was when I had the worse time with his wandering and aggitation. I used to love looking at the full moon with my DH, but, when AD started it affects on him, I started to really watch him more closely during this time frame. I am glad I figured it out as it made life a whole lot easier for me and now talking with different people, I know that I am not alone. I thought people would view me as a little strange talking about the effects of the full moon on my DH, but, to my surprise, they experienced the same thing.
I too have a great support group with friends, neighbors and family, but, I agree with Carole, that I am angry at the fact that my wonderful husband and I can no longer share the hopes and dreams of being able to retire and grow old together. He still is and will always be the love of my life, but, yes, it still sucks !!!
For several years I taught volunteers at LAX to help travelers w/problems. Airports, train & bus stations often attract people with mental problems. They have to go somewhere, but seldom know where. Sometimes we would have more than normal such clients w/all sorts of strange behaviors and someone would say, 'was there a full moon?' and the answer was always 'yes.' Can't say I believe it or have any idea why, but it just seemed to happen.
Regarding full moon experiences......I worked in a residential center for unruly and delinquent teens and that was the standard question when the whole place would go nuts...was there a full moon? Also, my DH worked in a prison for years....same thing. So, I guess this could carry over to AD. Sounds logical.
I worked in an elementary school, and the full moon definitely was blamed for a lot. As I recall, I saw a correlation between high winds and behavior. Any time the weather was windy, the kids went nuts, acting so strangely. Changes in weather involving high and low pressure swaps can be a cause of headaches, and in general irritability.
When you speak of them being really clear in speaking, I have to laugh. My MIL, a number of years ago, lost the ability to speak at all, but when they had entertainment at the NH, she could sing and knew all the words, as clear as day. My DH starts to talk to me in bed, when I'm reading and trying to relax at the end of the day. Then when he falls asleep, I can sense him reaching for me, to make sure I'm there, I guess. And he has full conversations in his sleep as well, who knows with whom. I haven't noticed that full moon is worse than any other time, though.
Two yrs ago my dad passed from a massive heart attack and AD husband attended the funeral services by my side. both my sister and i sat jaw dropped on either side of him as he sang all the songs word by word and recited the Our Father with us. he had not been able to speak a full comprehensible sentence before that or after but he remembered the songs and the prayer intact...Divvi
trisinger ... long ago, my sister told me about a meteorological phenomenon associated with pressure swings and wind. It had a name, but that was too long ago for me to remember. Anyway, the impact on behavior was so well-established that, over in Europe, it could be used as a legal defense.
My husband is always seeing and talking to his mother and a small boy. Usually I am unable to understand him, but, one day he was eating lunch and started telling the small boy to go to the other room. He threatened to spank him if he didn't (he never spanked one of our kids). Then he told who ever else was there that he didn't like it when kids didn't listen. There must have been a second boy because he told him he was a good boy. This entire conversation was very clear.
I have been having problems with the man in the mirror. He is not happy at all with the strange men in the house and it is causing a lot of worry for him. He passes a large mirror over my vanity outside of the bath room and then he steps into his area and sees another man. I have covered the mirror on the dresser in his bedroom but cannot figure out what to do with the other two. I know I need my mirror to make up my face and do my hair. Is there a covering that you could safely apply to the window like the clingy stuff you can apply to windows to block some one seeing in. Would it harm the surface of the mirror?
Found him this morning sitting on the potty with his underwear and pajamas pulled up. He didn't want to pull them down because that fellow was watching. Yesterday while I was in the shower he was asking me 3 times if I was okay. He thinks I need protection from those men. I don't want to hear "that's sweet". It is causing all kinds of problems around here. Can you tell...I am in a fowl mood.
Lately, I have my OWN conversations with imaginary people. John, for example. Doesn't comprehend much. Oh, he's here, but doesn't follow my route of conversation. I go outside and have conversations with myself, talking to the hounds, the birds, my livestock. Lately, I can't stand to be indoors even though there's so much in there to be done. A young girl came over from a church I visited a few months ago. She got to see what I go through each day with John....not a good thing, quite embarassing, actually. All the cursing and yelling like a bad teenager on drugs. I DID get to talk to her and her husband today. Two actual people. AND my neighbor just came over to check on the tractor problem. John......lately he just sits or lies around waiting to die, I think. Won't cooperate, mumbling curse words. I sometimes agree with him and teach him a new one or two when I walk by. VERY bad mood today. (me)
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. ELISABETH KUEBLER-ROSS
Bama, My husband also talks to the mirror, however, he has a great time, laughing, pulling his shirt over his head & making faces with his guy, who he has no clue who is, he just has fun with him. I am sorry you are experiencing a different "Man In The Mirror" Hopefully, like everything else, this stage will pass.
Hmm, let's remember that when Kubler-Ross was dying herself, she was angry and bitter and said that the five stages were a bunch of hogwash. Well, maybe not in those exact words. LOL
My DH does this too and at first I thought he was talking to his twin brother who died when he was born and I am still not sure but I sometimes listen and it is like he is telling someone what he is going to do like..."I am going to brush my teeth now or Before I leave the bathroom I am going to wash my hands. If I say "Are you talking to me?" He will say "No he is just talking to himself."
Lynn didn't like the man in the mirror, so this was big problem for us too. I took most of the mirrors down. The bigger one in the bedroom I put a pretty quilt over. I would think if you used the decorative cling for windows it would effectivly block any reflection.
Thank you, Nikki.... I am going to find some of the cling and try it. He thinks that man is using his toothbrush and drinking out of his glass, so he doesn't want to use them. He also is refusing to go to bed because he needs to protect me and I really need my "Me" time.
((Bama)) So sad isn't it....*sigh. Lynn too felt he had to protect me. The glare from the windows at night would also cast his reflection. It took me a couple of times until I knew it was him he was seeing and that no one was really outside our window! He didn't carry on the cute antics that many here seem to. He had a very real fear and dislike of that "man in the mirror"
We all will talk to ourselves and I remember my mom saying it was Ok as long as you didn't answer yourself. I have suspected hb might be doing this and today I got more evidence. I went down to the shop to tell him lunch was ready. I thought he was on the phone by the way he seemed to be answering questions about what he was doing or how to do it. It was way different than when we talk to ourselves. In a way I wish there had been a place to listen longer before he saw me. Oh, when he saw me he acted like a child being caught doing something wrong, then he went on like it never happened. This is a new stage I guess.
My husband does the same thing. Waving his hands, giving gestures etc. Couple of days ago, he was out in the backyard basically yelling at some imaginary person and he was pretty angry. When we went to see what was happening he started mumbling (he doesn't speak clearly anymore) about someone trying to kill us. It's quite frightening if you ask me. DH is 6' and a good size man, what if he trys to confront one of us, I'd be out of luck, I'm small framed and only weight 106. Rae
Rae Ann, please keep your cellphone on you at all times and a room/area you can go to to be safe and call 911. Have you asked his doctor about this? May need a med to control this. Keep safe, please!
Thanks Vickie: I do have a doctor who is working with us trying to get the right combination of drugs going. We are taking one issues at a time, highest on my list was sleeping. DH being up 7-8 times a night was killing me physically and mentally, so that was the first thing I wanted fixed as best could be done. However, DH was hospitalized yesterday and everything now has come to a complete stop until he is released. Rae