Another morning when I am up early. Don't know why, but I am. I invite you to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com, and read the weekend blog.
Please post your experiences and comments here, and let me know if I am the odd one in this blog.
My husband has spoken to me often about this. He says it’s like looking at a blank screen most of the time. This is one reason why he listens to music when he’s getting ready to go to sleep. He says it gives his mind something to do, instead of just being blank. He turns his cd back on if he wakes up during the night. Otherwise, night is when things get sort of scary for him.
Of course, caregivers have enough stuff running around in their minds for two or three people, don’t they?
As you all know my husband is at end stage and virtually non responsive. When my daughters visit he will look intently at them and you can see he is processing some thought. He is unable to say any thing but he does at least look at them.
If my wife isn't sleeping in her chair, as she is doing now, she will often be just looking into space. If I ask her what she is thinking she usually responds "nothing". Sometimes she will be looking at the trees etc., but often has no thought.
Joan, we frequently have the same conversation you talk about. I'll ask what he's thinking, and he'll say "nothing." Then I'll say "how can you think about nothing?" He just says that he does. I don't get it either. I wish I could shut my mind down and think about nothing sometimes!
My husband sits in his recliner with his eyes shut. TV is off and the only noise is the wind blowing the trees. Just out of curiosity I just now asked him if he is asleep. He said no. Asked him what he is thinking and he said "don't know but whatever it was it was good". I told him I am glad it wasn't bad. End of conversation.
Janet, you expressed my thoughts exactly. And it was that way before I realized that there was AD going on. He can lie on the bed or sofa for hours and hours, eyes closed but not sleeping and do nothing. I always need a book, tv, crossword puzzle, the telephone, the computer. In fact I hate being in bed if I awaken during the night and can't get back to sleep.
I don't know what to think about this subject. Most of the time when I ask what he's thinking he dosen't answer me. As if there really isn't any thought going on. Other times he'll respond with something profound like "I was thinking how proud I am of you." (said last week) I feel my asking him that question makes him uncomfortable. As if he knows he should be thinking something but he's not. I'll continue to ask from time to time because I don't want to miss the little pearls like he said last week. cs
I watched a segment on a TV news magazine show one time about a family (siblings) who all had EOAD. In interviewing one of the sisters, she said that she experienced moments - extending into an entire day - that was lost...compared it to something like sleep. She would be told that she had been up and about, walking, eating, etc., but had absolutely no recollection of anything that occured during the day or specific (shorter) period. Her mind was a total blank. Her own words were that it was the same as when you doze off and then wake up realizing an hour has past. No dream, no awareness, just sleep. Maybe that is what happens with our LO's.
My husband has always said 'nothing' but I concluded that was a man's way.
I can be in a blank state ' thinking of nothing. It was a skill I developed as a child to escape pain and abuse. It is a common phenomenon for abused children to escape into a 'dark hole' where you are safe and thinking of nothing. I can still do it - just fixate on an object and can be 'no where' in my thoughts. I can drive on the freeways and not remember parts of the drive. From talking to people, this is more common than one would think. How we don't get into accidents is beyond me! If I had a lot going on in my life, it wouldn't happen - would have too much to thin about. When I am working and my life is busy, it doesn't happen. Boredom is the trigger now.
Yes, Joan, we have the same conversation. Same question, same answer. I agree with Nikki and Carosi that it may be a communications problem, but it may also be that those of us with normal brains daydream sometimes--or just zone out--so why shouldn't they? Regardless, I'm trying to accept it and at least it's a peaceful activity vs. agitation, etc.
Hey Joan & everyone, yes,,,,,,Jim and I have also had this talk. He often sits, for longer and longer periods of time now, an hour or more if not interrupted and just stares. Sometimes this even happens when the tv is on or people are around. I call them his "mini-mental vacations". Boy could I use one, but no, I can never clear my mind, although I have tried Yoga, meditation for which I NEVER have time for now anyway. WHEN DOES SCHOOL START, LOL. Great Blog Joan, keep up the great thoughts, :o) Arms around, Susan
Several years back, I started noticing a different look in DH's eyes once in a while. this could happen during a television show, a conversation, or when he was driving. I would ask him what he was thinking and the question would startle him. We talk about it from time to time and he tells me that "he loses minutes." He will not be thinking anything just staring.
most times, he will have memory of what was going on before it happened. This happened a couple of nights ago; we were watching a tv show. that show ended and another one started. a couple of minutes into the second show, he asked me about the plot. He was trying to figure out how the new show fit with the old show. When I told him that another show had started, he put his hand up to his forehead and exclaimed, "whew, what was that all about. I didn't even see the first show end." This is a good example of how he "loses minutes."
It really does happen often. when he is tired or it is noisy or too busy, it happens much more often.
Mary in Montana, My DH will ask about a show we are watching so I am assuming he can't follow from begining to end. He also gets an empty look in his eyes from time to time. I can tell when he isn't with it and not sure what he wants to do or say. He doesn't remember anymore how he likes his eggs when we have breakfast out. Of course there are other things going on but as long as he doesn't go on a rant about something I can handle it.
I am finding more and more frequently that I am "finishing his sentences" for him. He will start to say something and after a few words - can't seem to find the word, but he says enough that I know what he wants to say. Don't know if I should be doing this or not - but it sort of comes natural - before I think about it. Then he will pickit up from where I left off. Guess it takes two now to verbalize things!