Sorry this has taken so long. I didn't want to write this while others were in the process of placing their LO. It's a hard thing to do without reading about things gone wrong.
Fayebaye, your story i have heard countless times. almost everyone in my family is medical. drs/nurses/pharmacists. even all my aunts are nurses. the horror stories are validated by people who walk the walk. but in defense of the good ones there are many who do have a standard of care which is exceptional. those are the lucky ones who get into those facilities. i am so very sorry you have a bad experience and your story is one of those very reasons i will also do my best to avoid placment if at all possible. you have done a great job of overseeing his care and i am so very glad hes regaining strenght and appetite at home with you now. i do hope its going to work out for you -divvi
My husband and I have been fortunate. He is in a dementia only ALF. Every staff person I have seen is well trained to care for residents with dementia. I make it a point to visit at different times of the day. Residents are treated with respect and care. They get their meals when they want them. If they want breakfast for lunch they get it. Nails are trimmed and hair cut. Never an odor. Medication is kept to a minimum. The entire building looks home-too bad it isn't mine.
I truly am sorry you had such a bad experience. Bluedaze is right - when dementia is involved, a nursing home with a dementia unit is the way to go - They know the disease, and the personnel are trained to handle the situation.
If I am not mistaken, you live in a State in which there are small home dementia care facilities. I know of 3 people around here who are in them, and the care is excellent. They take up to 6 patients at a time. You may want to check into that option for future reference.
I remember a few years ago when my sister put her hb in a nursing home at the cost of $5000 a month. She was going to leave him a month for respite time. After a week she brought him home. She had to furnish his bed and bedding, plus clothes. They did not make him get up for meals - just let him skip them. Because of his condition, he could not get himself out of bed. Once up, he could walk with the walker. She would find him lying in bed wet and soiled. She really checked the place out beforehand, but what she saw and what actually happens are two different things. She later tried a foster home which he was in for two months, but they fixed fancy meals while the residence would prefer just plain meat and potatoes. Plus my sister furnish his high fiber cereal, bananas, and soy milk which they didn't give him. He did love the 'ladies' there though. The best care he received was at the VA nursing home. With my mother, the foster home we put her in didn't work out - she went downhill fast. The last nursing home she was in, a mostly low paying residents and definitely not new is where she received the best care.
FayeBay - sounds like the nursing home is one of those of the past reputations. I remember nursing homes use to be referred to as places to put old people out of sight and mind. Thankfully are there are good ones, just hard to find.
((Fayebay)) I too am very sorry to hear of your DH traumatic time at the NH. I am very glad to hear he is thriving again now that he is home. I agree wholeheartly with Bluedaze and Joan..if the time comes when you have to place your loved one, the ones with dementia "wards" are the only way to go.
We have been blessed as well. Lynn is in an excellent AD facility. The staff there is very skilled, but beyond that, and more important, they have respect and compassion for Lynn. They have a no restraint rule, that was crucial in my search. I go to bed at night with peace knowing he is getting the skilled care he needs...but I want him home with me..*sigh
"The entire building looks home-too bad it isn't mine. " ((Bluedaze))
Dear God, I hope you have reported the NH to the state! There are good places out there, please keep looking for you own sake as well as you DH's. Keep us posted on how it goes. Arms around,Susan