I heard a really cute joke the other day. I am not very good at telling jokes but here goes...On Sunday morning a preacher was giving a sermon to his members and he quoted the scripture that talks about the fact the God knows that we are but dust A 12 year old girl in the congregation turns to her mother and whispers "Mommy, what is butt dust?
two older couples met for dinner an after the meal the wives went into the kitchen to clean up,the husbands were chatting when one guy said we found a great restaurent last week,oh ya the other guy says what was the name of it?The first thinks for a minute then say whats the name of that flower you give someone at Valentines Day the one with red flowers an thorns? Rose his friend says,ya thats it,Hey Rose what was the name of that new restaurent?
I'm not good at telling jokes either. But one of my favorites is the one about the mother and her small son who were admiring God's creations, nature, mountains, clouds and all things great and beautiful. Little boy was amazed at the beauty surrounding him and said, "...and imagine! God made all of this with only one hand!" Mother asked, "Why do you say that?"... Son said, "Because my Sunday School Teacher told me that Jesus is always sitting on the right hand of God!"
Thanks to all of you. I was really down and feel much better after reading these and laughing out loud. Send some to my mom, my sister, blonde jokes to my blonde daughter who LOVES blonde jokes, and most importantly, several to one of my caregiver friends who I figure could use a laugh too. Bless you all.
While shopping in a supermarket, two nuns happened to pass by the refrigerated beer case. “I’d love to have a beer,” said the first nun wistfully.
“Indeed it would be very nice to enjoy a beer,” replied the second nun. “But I wouldn’t feel comfortable about buying a beer in a public place like this.”
“Just leave that to me,” reassured the first nun. “I can take care of that.” With that she picked up a six-pack and took it straight to the cashier.
Noting the rather surprised look on the young man’s face, the first nun told the cashier, “We use beer for washing our hair. It’s a sort of shampoo, if you will.”
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under his counter and pulled out a package of pretzel sticks. Placing them into the bag with the beer, he looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said, “The curlers are on the house!”
well as long as we're on a religious theme....ahem a priest was giving confession an felt the need to use the restroom,he looked around an saw the janitor cleaning the pews an asked him so sit in the "box" he told the jamitor the only one there was the old widow Smith an she never had anything to confess,just give her 10 Hail Marys an send her on her way,well the janitor siad ok an went into the booth,the widow says Oh Father I've sinned an need forgiveness,the janitor curious asked what did you do an the widow said I had oral sex,this threw the janotor for a loop an he didn't know what to do so he opened the door an looked for the priest but all he could see was an altar boy so he asked him What does Father give for oral sex? Without batting an eye the young fellow says two Snickers bars an a coke
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.
'No, I don't,' she replied.
'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'
She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well.. I tried,' he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' he asked.
'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'
(Gotta watch those little old ladies! Their minds are always working!)
Be afraid of old ladies! Be very afraid! They have been there and done everything!
1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.
12. Remember where ever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!
13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.
14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.
15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.
'Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there' 'Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today'.
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror..
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!
All I can do is pass along this warning:
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!
Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.
With my apologies to my Texas friends - It could just as well have been Kentucky! LOL
Texas The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, 'Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head'. 'Yep', he replied.. 'That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'..
>> TRAFFIC CAMERA >> >> A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his >> picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he >> knew he was not speeding. >> >> Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, >> driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. >> >> He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as >> he drove past the area the third time, but the traffic camera flashed yet again. >> >> He tried a fourth time with the same result. >> >> The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled >> past at a snail's pace. >> >> Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for >> driving without a seat belt. >> >> Men! And they say blondes are dumb.
No Nativity scene in Washington DC this Christmas,nothing to do with religion,they couldn't find three wise men in the whole city,the search is still on for a virgin however they do have enough assholes to fill the stable
While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'
To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'
'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide.'
'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole? ' he asked.
'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'
Traffic Ticket - $95.00 Court Costs - $45.00 Look on the Cop's Face.................PRICELESS
John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets" and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the Boone County Fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result... The judges not only awarded Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
A friend sent this to me yesterday so I hope it doesn't offend anyone in Wisconsin.
The Wisconsin Ghost
This is too good not to read, especially if you thought ghosts didn't exist! This happened about a month ago just outside of Stoughton , and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's real. This out of state traveler was on the side of the road, hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped. Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped into the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain. Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and began begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he would surely drown! But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again! Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran and ran, into town, into Stoughton . Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, then told everybody about his supernatural experience. A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when they realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not just some drunk). About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and one says to the other, "Look Ole, ders dat idiot dat rode in our car when we wuz pushin it in da rain.
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. > > AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL > > THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.' > > THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!' > > DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?' > > 'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.' > > HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.' > > 'A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?' > > 'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!' > > > > > NEVER TOO OLD TO ENJOY HUMOR AND A GOOD LAUGH!!
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.
Dear Mrs.. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.' ________________________________________ The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs. ________________________________________ I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I'm half blind, Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, Take 40 different medications that Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia .. Have poor circulation; Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. ________________________________________ I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, So I got my doctor's permission to Join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over. ________________________________________ My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. ________________________________________ Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. ________________________________________ It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker. ________________________________________ These days about half the stuff In my shopping cart says, ' For fast relief.' ________________________________________
THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and The eyesight to tell the difference. ________________________________________
Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!
Out of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best!
Football FINALLY makes sense..........
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.'
Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?'
'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like....Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!!!!!!!!
Blondes Journal on Cruise Day 1 left port,watched glorious sunset Day2 got sunburned,wonderful food met Captain Day3 more sun Captain again,seems very nice Day4 won $600 at casino,Captain asked me to have dinner at his table Day 5 more sun Captain asked me to have dinner in his cabin,wonderful dinner Day 6 Captain asked me to have lunch in his cabin,asked me to stay the night,I told him I couldn't be unfaithful to my husband,Captain told me if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship Day 7 last night I saved 1400 people.....three times
A police officer pulls over a speeding car . The officer says , >clocked you at 80 miles per hour , sir .' > >The driver says , 'Gee, officer , I had it on cruise control at 60 >; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. ' > >Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly >, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control .' > >As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his >wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?' > >The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be >thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed >would have been even higher .' > >As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar >detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched >teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?' > >The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing >your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine .' > >The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but >I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my >license out of my back pocket .' > >The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't >have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're >driving .' > >And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket , the >driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??' > >The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband >always talk to you this way, Ma'am ?' > > ( I love this part ) > > > >'Only when he's been drinking.
These great questions and answers are from the days when 'Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.. (IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE THAT THE LINES WERE NOT SCRIPTED… IF THEY WEREN’T, THEY WERE TRULY COMIC GENISES)
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde (About fifteen minutes later): Loneliness! And the audience laughed for another 10 to 15 minutes.
Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. Tell me just how you are supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
7. Bad decisions make good stories.
8. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment during the day when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
9 Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection again.
10. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page important paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
11. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.
12. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
13. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
14. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
Ahhhhh The joys of having Girls. My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping ''napkins' in the bathroom.
Didn't they belong in the kitchen?
Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for 'special occasions' (her second mistake).
Now fast forward a few months....It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table (her third mistake).
When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter.
Next came his wife, who gasped, then, began giggling.? Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a 'special occasion' Kotex napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!!
My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. 'But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!!!'
Life is too short for drama & petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly, and for heavens sake, use the good napkins whenever you can.
This is funny and it is especially so because this actually happened in our house many years ago...
My daughter who was three wanted to help set the table for company and she must have remembered that "napkins" was the name of that product in the bathroom. So, imagine the look on my eight year old son's face when he walked into the dining room....! I am grateful we were able to fix the table before the guests arrived.
I just asked my dw what she was doing and she replied "Nothing". So I commented that she did that yesterday...So she replied, Well I am not done yet......
phranque, that's sort of the reverse here. I just went downstairs to where he is and he asked me what I had been doing - I replied "nothing much". He then replied, " well, you're doing a lot of that lately!"