I am not sure if this has been shared before or not. I have always found it moving.
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When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Tampa, Florida, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Missouri . The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this ' anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? ..What do you see?
What are you thinking.....when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, ..not very wise,
Uncertain of habit ........with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food......and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice.....'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice ..the things that you do.
And forever is losing .......... A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not...........lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding .... The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse......you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am ......... As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, ....as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten.......with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .......who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen ..with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now. ........a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty .......my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows......that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now ......... I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ........ My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ....... With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons ...have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me.......to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, ......... Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ....... My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me ........ My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ...........I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own.
And I think of the years..... And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man.........and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age ....look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles..........grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone.......where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass ...... A young guy still dwells,
And now and again .......my battered heart swells
I remember the joys.......... I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living.............life over again!
I think of the years ..all too few.....gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact........that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .........open and see..
Not a crabby old man. Look closer....see........ME!!
I didn't see it.. sorry about that. It really strikes me now that Lynn is in a nursing home. I know the people who work there can not see the man he was. I look around at all the residents, they were just like me, like all of us, at one time.
Hadn't seen the verses. My brother hung my dad's college degree (they made them BIG back in the '20s) over Dad's bed in a nh "so the folks would see he was a functioning person once." Of course, also had pics of the family posted.
I just decided I am going to make a copy of this and put it in one of the residents rooms. Don't get me wrong I think the people who work there are wonderful. In fact I think anyone who chooses to work with AD patients, or the terminally ill (etc) are angels on earth!
But, there is this one poor lady there that screams out to Marjorie all day long. I know it is tiring to hear, Lynn is only 2 rooms down. But, I think people have stopped listening to her. That is sad really. The other day she wanted water. She had been calling for Marjorie for so long her throat was really dry. I heard her call for Marjorie, then a faint, I need water. I went over to see if I could help her. I go over when I can to talk to her, but it is so hard for me. She always says to me "why wont God call me home? I am ready! " ACCCKK
Anyways, I told one of the nurses that she had really needed something this time, but no one came. She said they would be sure to check on her. I was there for two hours, no one ever did. I think I will tape this to her door tomorrow.
Nikki - Should not be reading these posts at work. I know that for sure now. That one brought me to tears and I'm sure I will begin to get strange looks from co-workers soon for sitting here at my computer with tears running down my face. Like you, these thoughts are brought out now that Charlie is in a nursing home. I have pictures of us and our family in our younger years there and I try to talk about what he did and what he was to the staff and even though they take great care of him I'm sure nothing I say or do will enable them to think of him as ever being a young healthy man.
((ehamilton)) I cried too, hard not to! I too have pictures all over the walls. I made scrapbooks for him. I tried to show his life, and all that he was. At first they all wanted to look at everything. But now, I think he is just another old person who needs to be cared for. Don't get me wrong, I think they are great!!! But like you said, they can't see them for who they were, only what they have become. At least they have us to care for them! So many have no vistors at all.
I should have my head examined.... But I think even after Lynn is called home I will continue to visit the residents. I know most of them by name and I try to take a few minutes to greet each of them. Some are just so starved for attention. Maybe I will even enroll one of my pups in therapy school and bring him in to visit them.
Nikki i think that poem should be plastered in EVERY nursing home across america. its way to easy to see them not as who they were but who they have become. its a sad time to walk into a home like that where someone is crying for help and nobody to hear or care. its stressing to me to hear that happening even in the 'good' facilities- you have a good kind heart and the people there would be so appreciate of your visits. and more than likely could use the advocasy of someone looking out for their needs and best interests. good for you. divvi
I too try to spend a few minutes with some of the residents who do not seem to have much company. Lord knows that Charlie can't really "visit" with me but I do think that he is aware that I am there. I think the aides have to do just the same as we did. They know the reason button is broken and sometimes they just have to turn a deaf ear. There is an aide on Charlie's wing who's name is Katie (she is as old as Charlie, 68). One of the female residents calls constantly for Katie when she is on shift. I watched Katie last night at supper. She took Mary to the dining room with her, Mary wanted to go back to her room, Katie took her to her room 3 times and each time Mary kept calling for Katie until Katie came back. Finally, the 3rd time, Katie told her that she had to help in the dining room and that Mary could go with her or stay in her room. Katie returned to the dining room but Mary continued to call for her throughout supper.
I agree emhamilton. I don't know who this marjorie is, her daughter I imagine. But she calls to her all day long. I imagine after a year or more of hearing this the staff is able to turn a deaf ear to her cries. Me, nope I can't. It has been 5 months and it still tugs at my heart. Most of the time I just bring her some water. Some times she thinks I am Marjorie. It sort of creeped me out at first, but if it can bring a smile to her tormented mind, why not? I have really become attached to some of them. Bless their hearts.