I googled "Waterproof Mattress Pads" and found one in particular has has a flannel type top with a sprayed on type of rubber backing. It doesn't crackle like some of the plastic ones do. They probably won't last forever, but after six or eight washings, and drying on "delicate/low", they're still in like new condition. The quilted plastic ones are just plain ole uncomfortable and HOT.
I was thinking, hoping that I would not need to deal with this until much later, however, I found out this afternoon how wrong I was. I went out into the garage to find my husband had pooped all over the garage floor...diarrhea all over the place including the garage door, down both legs, socks & shoes. I just burst out crying, it had been such a good day. Now there I am trying to clean a total mess off the floor of the garage. It wasn't so much I was upset over the mess, but the fact that it was like a slap in the face of reality, that this man I have loved for almost 41 years, is dying. He had no clue what had happen. Then as I am cleaning up with the hose, with the garage door open, I look over & he is naked from the waist down...he had taken his underwear & jeans off. I looked at Depends & Tena underwear yesterday, however, didn't purchase any. I think it is time to.
Kadee yes its time - when this happens its very sad when reality takes a bite out of our lives and reminds us that AD will always have the upper hand from here on out.
if you can manage to stay somewhat positive it will make it easier for you both. remember he cannot help what happens. we know they would not do this if they could help it. at least the mess was able to be flushed with a hose and not on carpets/furniture etc.
now more than ever, they need our guidance thru the turmoil of these transitional phases and if you can muster the energy give him a hug and tell him its ok. you will help him work thru it and be there for him as best you can. from one who knows - divvi
I think none of us start thinking, really thinking, about the incontinence until it hits home to us. For us, it was pretty early on - a couple of years ago - and the transition to Depends was very easy. He was still quite lucid and thoughtful: no question of consigning him to a nursing home then. Most of the time now he still uses the toilet during the day.
BUt then comes an episode of fecal incontinence and it sets us back. As Divvi says, they can't help it, just hope it happens on hard-surface flooring, and grit your teeth and deal with it. I think the only pro-active thing we can do with it is to try to get them "regular": defecating on the toilet at a regular time every day like our mothers tried to get us to do when they were potty training us. In our situation it's particularly necessary because he has a helluva time sitting on the toilet downstairs when he's fully dressed, and he usually stays down all day. (he can't bend one leg: try sitting on the toilet with trousers around your ankles and only one leg bent!)
So we have an invariable routine: get up. Go to the bathroom. Remove soggy clothes and Depends. SIT ON THE TOILET AND DEFECATE. Or at least try to. Then shower. Then the rest of the morning routine of dressing and going down for breakfast. Same routine at night before bedtime. Yes, of course it requires you being there and supervising, just as if they were toddlers. I am sure not everyone's spouse is ready for that (on either side) but the sooner you can get to that state, the easier it will be on you. Small dose of immodium after a second accident. Avoiding olive oil or spicy food or fatty food if those set him off. Give Activia yogurt if that helps regulating. But try to get to that state sooner rather than later.
Now let's hear from everyone who's tried that and can testify it DOES NOT WORK!! ;-)
Clare-I don't think it will really help but I'll put my 2cents in. When my leg was splinted from ankle to hip sitting on the commode was tricky. I put a low stool in front of the commode to put my leg on.
It's ok. THe thing is, I get him to go when he's stripped down, so there's no problem.
Oh. I called the AZ store on Joan's front page, to see about ordering some of those marvelous briefs Marsh tells us about. They were willing to call Tranquility and have them deliver 2 different size samples for me to try before buying the whole case. Very nice to deal with!
I purchased the Depends for Men. I told him that the doctor wanted him to wear special underwear because it worked better with the medication he is using for the butt problem. He let me help put them on without a fess...I am shocked. They do seem kind of tight though, his waist is 34 the ones I bought said 28-42. Is there another brand that don't seem so stiff?
divvi, Do you have any suggestions on where I can find the TENA Serenity? Also, do think I bought the correct size? He hasn't complained that they are tight, so maybe they are okay. He wore briefs, then switched to jockey knit boxers. Another question, if they are not soiled...which I don't expect them to be at this time, does he change them everyday, just like underwear? I don't know if I can handle him not changing everyday, but then the expense is another thought.
yes change every day. It is a habit to get into. The doctor said to. You don't need to change MORE than once a day, though. HIDE THE JOCKEY SHORTS!! The problem with sizing seems to be the rise - between crotch and waistline. You just have to try different sizes. If you can't find Tenas (I found them at Target) you may want to just get the Assurances from Walmart which are as far as I can tell identical to Depends but cheaper. Save all your slips - you can write them off as medical expenses at tax time. (Save any that are too large for later on when you may need to double up at night.)
I found the Tena Serenity for Women but not for Men at WallMart. I am just buying to have on hand for now but when needed I am going to ask my local pharmacy about ordering me a package. They are very good about that and get next day delivery. You don't get that from WallMart.
I bought Tena Serenity for MEN at CVS and saw them yesterday at the grocery store. They actually LOOK LIKE jockey shorts with a darker waistband and they are so much softer than the other brands. I put them in the underwear drawer just like his old jockey shorts..
My husband has a 38" waist and the size Large in Tena Serenity fit him very well.
Thank you very much for all the help. I replaced all his underwear with the Depends. He is a 34 inch waist, weighs 181 as of today at the doctor's office. I will check tomorrow at CVS.
kadee this is just me but some of the other brands caused irritation in my DH. the granules that some use and the odor control ingredients change from underwear to underwear.
i use the depends if i cant find tena serenity due to the non- irritation factor . as you use them you will find what works best for your DH. some have no issues at all changing brands. at 34in waist you use the ones that fall in that category. in tenas serenitys i use small or medium up to 40in waist as DH has skinny legs and 38in waist and they fit well. snug but enough for a booste pad at nite. if you find tenas and like them bettr you can buy them online by the case a bit cheaper -all of them you can buy online by the case for that fact.
by all means change them daily as dribbling will still happen even in these. any urine left for long periods can cause skin irritations and cause rashes too so monitor as needed. his bottom should improve hopefully as well. good luck! divvi
I will add my 2-cents as well...We also use Depends for men, S/M size. My DH is 34" Waist and down to 147 lbs, so this size works well for him. I also put in a "peel & stick" TENA pad, pkg of 36 is $12.97 @ Walmart and this helps to cut down on cost and is convenient for urinary incontinence, which is what we deal with most of the time. Taking out the used pad & putting in a new one helps eliminate the need to take off shoes, socks, jeans, etc. and also helps to save $$$ on the Depends. We have also recently adopted Marsh's suggestion of the night-time extra-absorbent Tranquility Premium Overnite, 34oz absorbency undies, along with the x-tra 10oz booster pad inside. We have still had some "leakage" at night, esp if DH sleeps on his side in the nite...BUT, I bought some 36x36 quilted pads that I put under him to catch any overflow and this has def saved me on mattress and sheet issues. The pads I use come in a 4-pkg for $59.95 when I bought them in July of 2008 and they are still going strong. I have 8 that I rotate. Got them from www.northshorecare.com (sofnit 300 washable bed pads) but you might be able to get them from the Alz Store as well. As others have shared, we also went from boxers to briefs to depends...pretty quickly in fact. And I did have to just throw out some fairly new briefs due to #2 accidents. One other tip, Walmart has x-large wipes for cleaning bottoms when your spouse can no longer do it themselves. A pkg of 48 is $2.54 & they are sold near the Depends and Tena Pads. Recommend getting these & having on-hand, as well as some disposable gloves -- got those @ Sam's Club. It's sad that we have to do all this, but it is helpful when we are helped by others, and in turn, can help another. Hang in there, all!! :-\
I finally found the Tena brand for men at Walgreen's. Everywhere, I checked had women, but not men. I think they are much softer than the Depends & seemed to fit better. He still has not complained about the new underwear.
I received the 3 pair of jockey shorts today from Gold Violin. They have triple (or more) waterabsorbent linings in the front and crotch area..with a pocket that you can slip a removable (men's) pad inside. They look just like regular jockey shorts except they are as thick as a diaper in the right places. I think I'll reserve these for now until we have to go somewhere where potties are not readily available. The potty experience on our trip earlier this summer was not good. Not good at all!!!!!!!
I got the sample briefs from Tranquility and tried the first pair last night. I am afraid I've never seen the bed and all its layers so completely soaked! I did everything the same as always, just with the new briefs. The only thing is that he was in bed a bit longer than usual.
briegull it makes a big difference if they fit well around the legs. its hard to find the right fit around legs that still fit the waist properly. thanks for the tip, i will stick with the tenas and boosters - divvi
natsmom, could you tell me why the softnit 300 pads rather than the others offered at northshore? Just dealer's choice or for a specific reason? There were other newer varieties. I'm a novice at this, obviously, but need to get going on it. Thanks for your help.
kathi i am not natsmom she will answer you i am sure. but the champion 47in washable MATTRESS pad you can find here is great. 19dol each.
they are the xLARGE ones and wash well and if your spouse rolls over they are still on the pad- i didnt like the disposables at all. my spouse would wet them and theyd stick to him making them bunch up. i like the cotton overlay with the rayon wicking. works really well. divvi
Thanks divvi, as always you are an incredible source of valid info. Still along this vein, do you recommend the Tena pullons or the ones with the side connects? G hasn't had this problem, but just looking ahead. We have discussed it, and he has no problem trying out thse "pants". It makes me wonder if he is either anticipating or has had one without letting me know.
Has ANYONE made the ones with the side connects work? We have some, bought when we were first trying, and I could NOT get them arranged right. I've used them a few times and they always go askew.
i would NOT use the tab ones that close at sides. they tear them off!!
use the pull up ones until they would become bed bound. then i can see the tab ones being easier to work with.
like briegull i had SUCH messes in the bathroom when DH would pull the tabs and they'd fall apart and spread you know what out. ugh! (Sorry=i know)
chris is right they sell by the bag or the case. i LOVE TENA SERENITY! i found little 5pack ones at my local grocery store and bought them ALL./ at 5dol a bag. yay!! these just seem to be most comfortable ones as far as softness and fit.
Sorry to be so dense, but the above Tena by the bag...men's women's pads, panties ??I looked on line and couldn't narrow the field with the info. Couold they be the men's liners? Price seems really low from what I saw on drugstore.com.
kathi, i buy the tena mens protective underwear super absorbency pullup underwear. i think 14to a pack. they have the ultimate absorbency is a little less absorbent and come 18 to a pack but i like the more absorbent ones - and they offer the booster tena mens liners/guards that can be used inside them. you may want to buy a bag of the underwear and a bag of pads so if hes going by himself to the bathroom you can just change the pad as needed and not the whole underwear. they have free shipping on 25dol +:) the underwear are 15.99 and pads 48ct 18.99
they never go bad so if you dont use them now you will later. haha..
they also have a new mens underwear that look like jockey briefs if you seach tena serentity at the site. they are the newer tenas for men and may work too for your DH who is not all incontinent?? they look nice and more like underwear and are probably made inside like the other tenas with more absorbency.
i would give a try to one of them they are softer and more like underwear. yours may not need all the extra padding at this point? hope this helps. divvi
kathi, so sorry to be just now getting back to you :( Had computer problems yesterday/today :( I like the washable Softnit pads I mentioned I guess because I've had them for over a year now & they just work/wash very well. They are soft for my DH and very absorbent, never leaking onto the mattress/sheet, etc.
FYI to all, I tried the "Marsh" Premium Absorbent briefs from Tranquility with insert boost pad as well, and, well, after the first night they were great, but since, just are not keeping all the liquid in :( I actually called "Depends" and "Tena" over the weekend & got some info about the products...we literally have a closet full of things I've tried. The "Depends" person suggested the following because we use the "Super Absorbent" already, and told them how they seem to keep leaking...She said to try the "Adjustable Super Absorbent"...AND, add a boost pad inside. Both the adjustable and the regular briefs (BOTH SUPER ABSORB) hold 3-3.5 cups of liquid...that's 24-28 oz...then the boost pad holds another 1-1.5 cups or 12 oz. I told them I cannot handle the "tabs" and they told me the "Adjustable" are actually briefs that you can pull the tabs over & tighten them at the waist. Well, the last 3 nights we have used these, along with the boost pad inside, AND, then another depends (not adjustable, just the brief) OVER all that...sorta like a girdle...it has worked better than anything else I've tried in the past. So, for what it's worth, here's another option. Also, if you call DEPENDS and TENA, they will send you coupons. Depends also has a website you can print a $2.00 off coupon. Google depends & the site will come up.
I honestly believe this is THE hardest part of this disease, esp when you are awakened at all hours of the night/early morning to deal with it. I find myself waking up & just reaching over to see if he's wet!! UGH! If he's not, I smile to myself and rollover and go back to sleep....Those are the good nights :)
Since some of you have had trouble with the Tranquility overnight briefs I wonder if they don't work as well with men. Have any of you men tried them on your wives? The only time my wife wets the bed is if I leave her in bed for up to 11 hours. Then her output exceeds the capacity of the briefs. Even then she only wets the pad I have under her, so I just toss it in the laundry.
I tried the second in the pack last night and it DID work. And even though he went to bed at 7 and got up at 10, and it wasn't dry, the pjs were and the pads underneath. That doesn't happen much. Divvi, you gave me an idea: you said that it had to fit snugly around the legs - and I realized that's not where it leaks for mine, it leaks around the waist. SO I made sure this time that it was very snug with nothing tucked in (I do that usually but sometimes he adjusts it).
oh yeah, thats the other dilemma briegull.. making sure they leave it TUCKED IN and not up! otherwise like you say its shirt wet and just about everything!
i am with you on that one for sure. i check and somehow it gets rearranged in the nite. humm...:)
i may have to resort to ducktaping the waist at nite:) divvi
Okay, I have virtually no experience in this but your comment about taping at night and rearrangement during the night made me think. What about putting a jock strap on them before dressing for bed? Would that help keep the equipment where you want it?
A while back I said I had gotten an eggcrate pad (foam) to put over the mattress in the hospital bed we use. But it slipped. Someone - ? - said, duct tape it in place. THAT HAS WORKED MARVELOUSLY!! Dunno about the equipment, men, what do you think?? ;-)
if my DH wanted the equipment out he'd find a way jock or no jock and he'd pee over it anyway. ugh. .. i was sayng ducttape the top of the depend around the top of it not his skin.. :) that way he cant get his hands in his pants! briegull i'll let you know if i have to use this and if it works. hahaha. what a topic.
Answer to Marsh - I followed your suggestion a few months back re: the tranquility protection as well as the bed pads. Both have been just perfect. I even found on the site some seat pads for the couch and car seats - even got to select the colors to match. To try to limit the flow when sleeping, I don't give her anything to drink after dinner. That has made things more managable also. Thenneck
LOL about the duct tape ~ As I was reading these posts, Divvi I knew you meant taping the briefs, BUT, the thought did cross my mind about duct-taping the equipment...think others were thinking it as a joke as well...surely none of us would actually....superglue maybe, but surely not duct tape! LOL!!
I remember reading one of Marsh's posts recently about being out with his DW and she had a messy accident and he didn't have any spare depends with him. I always keep an emergency kit with me and have had to use it several times. As much as it has saved me though, it has always been a problem because it was out in my vehicle or somewhere other than on my person. That required me to leave DW in the restroom while I went for the kit. On one particular incident, that took some time to clean up, another lady entered the restroom and was NOT very understanding. So, to expedite things, I now put 2 depends on DW and carry a ziplock bag with a plastic produce bag and some sanitary wipes in my pocket if we are going somewhere. The outer depends usually stays clean/dry so I just put it back on her when done with the task. It makes for a much faster "pit stop". Oddly enough, what prompted me to think of this is that often DW can't keep track of whether she has a Depends on or not. (The "or not" is a problem) Several times I found her in the bathroom putting on 2-3 over the top of the one she had on. Thenneck
I, also, have the extra Depends and wipes in the car, in a very nice cloth bag. I have decided, after this last disaster, to carry that bag, like a woman's large purse, with us whenever we go out. The only problem I can see is remembering to pick it up when we leave. Another option I have considered is putting the Depends and wipes in a small backpack and wearing that. Again, I have to remember it if I take it off. I don't have to worry about her putting on extra Depends since I have to do everything for her in the line of dressing and undressing.