I hope this isn't a sign. DH told me a wet himself a little. Horrified, I said why? He said he was sitting at the table and it just slipped out....ooooooooooono..............I told him we don't want to make a habit of it..........Is this the way it starts?
Imohr, try not to chastise if you can. i know its quite hard to do but your DH is quite with it mentally and knows probably would be devastated much more due to that with the incontinence issues. if its slipping out then could be he may be having some prostate issues or beginning of uti or just falty bladder muscles. it happens and all is quite common even in non AD. does he still get prostate checks? maybe if he can do that it would be good to get that checked out and check over the counter uti strip just to be sure? if none of the above it could be a sign hes losing his bladder control some. putting a pad into his reg underwear maybe he would agree to so if it does happen it wont make him feel so bad? when the mind no longer can understand the process of becoming incontinent sometimes i think its an easier step than them still knowing whats going on..stay calm and try to just get on with it and help him when he needs it. all we can do to prepare for worse times. Divvi
Lois, the first couple of times the accidents happened were when he went to the toilet and couldn't get his pants undone quickly enough. The devastating one followed a month later when we were in Linens and Things and he had an accident in the store. At first I tried the pads, but quickly moved to the Walmart brand of depends, telling him that if he wanted to go on the cruise, he had to wear them all the time. I then took all his underpants and hid them. He has been doing okay most of the time. He has very few accidents in the depends even. As long as he is reminded to go, he seems to do okay. As for the accident in the store, he didn't even realize what he had done. He had no embarassment because he wasn't "with us" at the moment. He has those moments, but they come and go.
Like Divvi, I don't say anything when he has an accident, I just hand him a clean pair and sometimes help him put them on. They aren't tight at all, and are very comfortable looking.
I would go ahead and put them on him if you have carpeting. You can wait until he has a few more accidents if you have tile and hardwood floors, if you wish. Remember potty training a toddler? Well, this is the reverse.......
I got my first real evidence of urinary incontinence yesterday morning when I changed Frances's CVS briefs after her first potty trip of the morning. I thought I might smell urine, and thought also that the briefs felt definitely heavier than usual, so I placed a paper plate on our postage scale and compared the weight of a fresh brief with the one I'd just taken off of her. Sure enough, it weighed 3.5 ounces more -- about a half cup's worth. For about the past month she's only been waking me up once or twice during the night for potty patrol -- a very welcome improvement (for me) over the situation some months back when it was ever hour or so all night long.
<<My brother-in-law is an engineer and it sounds like something he would have done....weighing the diaper.>>
Well, what would YOU have done? Felt it to see if it felt damp (I think it's designed not to feel damp)? Tried to wring something out of it? Sniffed it?
I am going to play it cool and see how things go. I may need to start reminding him about going. He had a prostrate exam last year. I personally have urinary leakage and wear a liner and I am thinking that may be the problem. Sure hope so.
With DW's Depends, when she is sitting on the throne I feel it (from the outside so I don't get my hands wet). I can tell easily if she has had an accident because it feels heavier. I don't have to weigh it, just "heft" it. If so, I change the Depends right then. For this reason I have found it better to have her wear a skirt. Then I don't have to remove shoes and slacks to change the Depend.
As for the night, I get her up every time I get up. Most of the time this has prevented her from wetting the bed. Some nights I have to change the Depends every 2 hours (as long as I do this the Depend holds all she contributes), others she will go all night without a problem.
You know, we are really lucky that we HAVE those super-absorbent depends. With little kids in tropical climes (sounds like I'm starting to quote Noel Coward) they don't wear ANYthing below the waist until they figure it all out. (Actually I'm not sure what percentage of those populations wear ANY underwear. ) But we put babies and super-babies into these things that absorb immense amounts of liquid without making their skin wet. We are lucky with babies, and then at the other end, with the Depends.
Marsh, darling, are you sure YOU shouldn't see a urologist if you're getting up every two hours?? ;-)
GC, I would probably have done like marsh and just "hefted" it. Engineers have to be so precise in their work that weighing it would have come naturally for you.
Mary, I could have written your post, simply by changing the name of the store to Macy's and substituting she for he. She isn't bad with the urinary side of things yet, but does seem to be having some issues on the bowel side. She insists on wearing pads and will volunteer to wear her Wal Mart depends to bed some nights.
I have always heard that being a little bit incontinent is like being a little bit pregant, you either are or you aren't.
Not really, though, jimmy. Our spice seem to go thru phases of remembering most of the time, then not, then remembering again. Days, even weeks, without an accident (while wearing depends), then daily problems. Same with night. And urinary and bowel incontinence seem to be completely disconnected.
We've entered a new stage that I feared was approaching. My husband has been wearing Depends at night...going from urinating in them once every 2 or 3 weeks to about 2 nights out of 3. So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when he had a urination accident while sleeping on the couch and a BM in his underwear the same day. Hoping it was a fluke, I went to my dog trial today and called in to have the aide tell me that another couch cushion had been peed on and my husband was wide awake...had to idea what he had done. So...now he's in Depends full time. He doesn't seem to be aware; hopefully, that will continue and he will be able to use the bathroom some of the time. However, I have to say that this is (for me) one of the worst parts of this "job"!!
My husband had his first bowel accident yesterday. Been having wetting for a while. Hopefully the bowel was the result of loose stool or thinking he just had gas when it was more. He wears depends for me without fuss but they are such a pain when he wants to go to the bathroom and I hate to discourage him from going when he has to.
Yes we are using pull ups but he "wants to do it himself" and he has very little motor control in his hands. Just can't seem to master the art of pulling them up. It was the same with his underwear. If he gets the underwear up (or the depends) he leaves his pants down and trips on them. If he pulls the pants up, he forgets the underwear and they are down around his knees tripping him up.
Sometimes "do it yourself is not best" but if it is it is. My Mom let me help her. When my dh has to wear them I think he will let me help him. He can barely pull his underware and pants up now, mainly because he is so bent over. Just now he comes into the LR carrying his shorts - stark naked - says he can't get them on. I put them on him and he goes back and comes in with his shirt and pj's for me to help him. He has been doing this himself.
My husband can do nothing for himself. I have to lead him to the bathroom, sit him down, pull the pants and depends down, wipe him, pull them back up, and lead him back to the living room. I am lucky in that he is not resistant at all to being helped, but it is very pitiful.
We're getting close to that. I do give him immodium which keeps him fairly regular with one bowel movement a day, but I have to keep an eye on him then or he won't wipe. He doesn't seem to know whether or not he's defecated when sitting on the toilet. Full-time depends for almost a year now, even tho he goes to the toilet some of the time.
Putting pants (pull-ups) on him or off him is like dressing a doll whose legs and feet don't bend. Pointing his toes means lying down and pointing his toes to the ceiling. He loves to get mad at me when I have trouble getting the trousers off his feet when they're bent at 90 degree angles to his legs!
DH has been temporarily banned from using the pullups. He got to liking them too much, as some of you may recall. He got to denying they were soiled, and got himself a nasty rash. Had to deal with all that, and have kept him in regular shorts. I try to get him into the shower every other day, but not always successful. It's the only time I can guarantee 110 percent that he is "CLEAN." In between I give him a pair of shorts and baby wipes telling him to clean up. He sometimes lets me help him, as I would a toddler. Other times he doesn't. I will sometimes find that the clean undies I gave him to put on are hidden in the bathroom cabinet. I so hate this stage because the odor gets around the house. I smell it in his lazy boy chair, and sometimes I smell it in the car. Sometimes I wonder if its my imagination. ICK ICK ICK!!!
New Realm, forgot about your rash. Is it doing better? I had problems with a rash under arm area and the dermatologist gave me a prescription for a in-house formulated cream and it cleared it up pretty good. She said it was a fungus and would come back so to save the jar and reapply as needed. Just takes a smidgin so I think I have a lifetime supply.
Well I am surprised to see so many dealing with the incontinence issues lately. I am ready to hand off my 'title' for poop queen any time:) its a day/day issue here, some days like yesterday he surprised the heck out of me by using the toilet for a BM on his own??? ear-to-ear-grin! i went by the bathroom and there he was sitting on toilet. i was shocked. just a few days ago i was cussing up a storm cleaning up carpets for hrs. he also has on occasion peed in depends at nite when hes really tired but during the day he remembers his need to go in the bathroom. its one of the hardest parts of caregiving for sure. if its any consolation the cleanups becomes quite robotic after learning the tricks of the trade. the stiff feet (90deg) when trying to dress/undress is a pain in the rear! i have this everyday and its amazing how stiff they can make their feet. i am sure my DH tries to sabotage my getting his pants off. and holding the elastic around his waist in bunches when he knows he has to shower so i cant undress him-. well thats a whole new topic! funny there are so many 'traits' of AD behaviour similar even in this area of the disease. Divvi ps we suffer the fungus issues too at times and have permanent RX for creme, i find using non talc diaper powder everytime anew depends used helps keep it dry and cleaner.
I think this issue may have been discussed, but now that my husband is in Depends fulltime I'm wondering...What success have people had with other brands...Teva or CVS brand? Are they are absorbent?
And what about the feet crossed at the ankle so you can't even get the pants started?
I make a trip to Wal-Mart every twenty four days. While there I buy a case of the Friskies cat food (24 of the big cans) and three packages of their brand of depends, which comes out more or less even using two in24 hours. They seem to work fine. Awhile back I started buying some booster pads (I forget the kind) and they help a lot at night. I see absolutely no difference among the kinds except the price.
i havent found any better absorbent than the super plus depends brand. i use the less expensive as a second one over the depend but they just dont seem to have the extra padding i think like the other. and they seem softer and dont irritate DH as much. so i am stuck buying that brand. divvi
Hospice delivered a hospital bed yesterday. I was wondering how I was going to get him to sleep in it instead of our bed. I told him the doctor said it would be better for his back and neck since his head area could be raised up. It worked as he slept in it and only got up once. He also has congestive heart failure so being able to raise the head of the bed really helps. Much better than pillows.
The main reason for getting the bed at this point is incontinence. I was having to strip our king bed daily. He would soak it no matter how many chux, pads, depends etc we used. Dumb me, I finally figured out he was taking his "equipment" out of the depends.... One nite, I found him sitting on the edge of the bed and trying to hit the hole in the commode which was about 2 feet away!!!!!
He has started to decline rapidly now. We have aides 5 days a week and they are having some problems getting him into the shower, so they will be giving him "helmet" baths soon.
By now, everyone knows I deal with 'issues' daily. i have gone to medical supply stores and spent good money on chux, 'water proof pads, etc. i have it all. well, i had a brainstorm idea of how to avoid changing underbedding if DH wet the bed at nite. i found 2 very large HIGH piled off white carpets with rubber backing, 4'3? -think bathroom mats..i got them at biglots discount for 7dol!! each-VERY SOFT!! and fluffy-- i am so happy with the results i thought i'd tell it incase some are having soak thru issues too. i put the soft carpet down over the plastic pads. and i swear both times DH soaked his depends WITH the appartatus up..haha..his clothes were wet but the carpet absorbed every bit of excess and the mattress totally dry. its big enough to cover his area of the bed all i did was change his clothes and replace the carpet with the other one i bought and threw soiled in washing. its much better for me and easier in my opinion than washing lots of 'padding'! and th pads were more just for one of them at med supply. and if they wear down i will get more! just in case you become desperate like me:::))) divvi
yep bluedaze i love going in that store but hate i have to put a quarter to rent a basket for shopping..haha!! and i always need a basket! times are tuff and i buy all my dry good there, washing soaps/cleaning supplies, i spend tons of $ there every day 'out'..i can go down every isle! haha..well, i try to find ways to save my energy and fustrations. i swear this new fluffy carpet is working so well and DH says its soft! and its the SAME brand that sells for 40dol at BBATHBeyond!-- and he likes laying on it at nite. next time i am picking up 2 more 4 should do nicely!.soo..just thought i'd pass on this very unconventional idea that works! divvi
Divvi, It is funny, but I use the same technique for my pup! She has been difficult to train and returns to the same spots regardless of how many times it was professionally cleaned. I went to Costco and got the same type of rugs and plop them on top of the favorite pee spots. Works like a charm! AND she has stopped piddling inside. What works for one child..etc..;-)
kathi, you are so right, exactly where i got this idea from. my chihuahuas have issues with 'daddy' peeing around the house, so they think they are entitled as well even though they are paper trained on newspaper. so i started these carpets in prime spots that work just like yours. and washing a carpet is soo much easier! divvi
divvi-I don't have to "rent" a cart in my Big Lots. You must live in a more affluent area than I do. A woman standing in front of me asked if I could change her $100 bill (must have been wellfare day). Do you think I would be shopping there if I could? Seriously-I love the store. To not digress from our incontinence topic (who me digress) Their sweat pants are only $4 or $5 and I buy a bunch for the residents who don't have families. I think most everybody in the facility is incontinent.
OT!_Bluedaze, ha, on the contrary the one which is the largest store i like, is in a shady part of town and their carts are outside. the manager told me homeless folks were stealing them at nite so they had to charge and lock them up. you have to put a quarter in to get one:) its the principal of the thing, the mgr sees me now and gets me one from inside as i am a 'good' customer..haha..me too my SIL comes and we spend hrs going thru there for fun-. i got a super coffee pot, blender, and bagel toaster, for all 30dol! last time..haha..and the washing detergent is super cheap. 5dol for a gallon! i think the stuff mainly comes from mexico, thats ok it washes just the same. i saw those jog pants, thats a really nice jesture to take them to NH for everyone there. Divvi
I love Big Lots. We have one about a half mile from me. I can go and wander up and down the isles and find my stress getting better. I highly recommend the Jams. When they get new ones in I will buy one and try it and if it is good I'll go back the next day and stock up. My DH loves fig preserves and I bought every jar they had. Shopping Big Lots is like a treasure hunt because you never know what you will find. At one time we had a Goodwill store here and it was so much fun. All of us "rich folks" shopped their. Seriously, I am along way from rich. LOL
I LOVE Salvation Army. They have the neatest stuff at such good prices. I broke the lid to my crock pot. I'm going to go there this week and see if I can find a new one. I already wrote to the company that mfg'd my crockpot. They have gone out of business. Dang!
I used to do Salvation Army and especially Goodwill; that's where my daughter's clothes came from many years ago. Here we have Ocean State Job Lot, which is marvelous, lots of good buys on gourmet food, but what's neat is that the owners are very civic minded, manage every food drive they can, if you buy food there and tell the cashier it's for the food drive, it's free! It's where our current blankets come from, most of our starches like pasta, and sauces, and cereal.. THere is a Big Lots but this is so much calmer..
They do NOT, however, have standard incontinence supplies.
I cried this morning for the first time in weeks. Between the slowly by surely progression of the disease and living with it day in and day out and the help from this site, I thought I had finally come to terms with things. Medication is helping him sleep through the night most of the time and he is not aggressive. I was really beginning to think "I can handle this". I was even making jokes to myself in my head. I had decided that if Divvi could be the "Queen of Poop" then I could be the Princess of Pee. He got up at 6:00 a.m. and went to the bathroom. I knew he didn't get on the toilet because he goes down kind of hard and I always hear him. First thing I know, I hear him grunt. I think oh no. I got up and there he stood, in front of the sink, arms braced, legs spread, and underwear full. I cleaned him up, got him into a depend which I had neglected to do last night as he had been doing pretty well, crawled back into bed and cried like I had not done since the early days. I wasn't crying because I had to clean him up, I think it was because I had lulled myself into a false sense of security and I thought I really had a handle on things and then I realized that I don't, not really. In my mind, I know that things will only get worse, but when they do, it throws me for a loop.
ehamilton, I am so sorry. I just don't know how I can handle the incontinence issue. I hope and pray he will skip this stage. Plan your Valentines Day for YOU and do something nice for yourself.
AWWW-Ehamilton, i am so sorry you are feeling low today. its true, you gain a false sense of security thinking its not going to progress too much too fast. we all want to think positive. the sad truth is its going to get worse, little by little for some and very fast for others. the saddness you feel is from the defeat of the disease and no control over it or how it will attack your life. its super hard to try to see the positive when you are up to your elbows in poop. "i have been where no man has gone before." i have had poopy diapers slung in my chest. and cleaned hrs of white carpets day in out. i made peace with myself and my DH and my war now is with the disease itself. i am determined it has my husband- but it wont get me too. and i will fight it to the end and then forever in my mind after that. its relentless but if we are determined so are we- and i owe it to my DH to be strong for him and not weep for him as he is now but remember him as he was. take a deep breath, and remember we are here to help you thru these harder days and times to come. you will find peace and more acceptance along the way but we all know it isnt easy. Divvi
When my husband began having issues with finding the right spot in the bathroom, everyone here was so wonderful in helping me come up with solutions. We did the blue food coloring and it worked for a week and then incontience struck its ugly head.I now have him sitting down when he needs to go. Its been much easier to deal with then the constant bathroom mopping.
Our solution to the incontience has been medline pull up briefs, two to three hour trips to the bathroom to have him try to go. At night I put on two of the pull ups and a pull up type depend. The depend first then the pull up brief. As I get up at night ,I try to take him to the bathroom. What usually occurs is that the depends gets wet, which I cut off and dispose of, then we remove the rest through out the night as needed. Usually these 3 do for the night. I also use Monistat soothing care medicated powder on him each time we change a brief. So far no irritation,rashes or skin problems. I use flannel backed crib pads on the bed to protect his side. We have had a few accidents but not as many as we were having before with him missing the commode.
There are booster pads, that go inside the "depends" ("depends" used here like "kleenex", as a generic). These don't have a plastic barrier to moisture on the back, so they absorb a lot and what they don't goes into the Depends. Trouble is, my husband like many others here, doesn't always adhere to our requests to keep equipment pointing down.
I am not a member of the poop patrol but I wondered if anyone has used the ReadyBath cloths? You can heat them in the microwave for 15 seconds. They used them on me in the hospital which is how I learned of them. I did a Google search and they have all sorts of "stuff". Various kinds of cloths and shampoo/conditioner caps. I just thought this might be helpful to some of you.
Jean i used those bunches when DH was going thru the phase of no 'bath or shower', we did the sit in the chair bathes using these and the shampooers alot. i still have some and when i cant do a full bath i still use them too. they are really good and no rinse..can order them online or some pharmacies carry them too. Divvi
Want an old nursing trick- no soap and water-just use cheap fragrance free lotion or solid Crisco on warm damp rags for cleaning. No rinsing and leaves skin in great condition. When my leg is not fractured I use olive oil instead of soap in the shower. Afraid of slipping at the present.
Hey, just bought some olive oil soap the other day. It was at an outlet store but had been very expensive. Olive oil and lemon. Smells heavenly. (no garlic, though!)