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    • CommentAuthorJane*
    • CommentTimeSep 10th 2008
     
    Katanshelties,
    I did the same as you in the beginning, I had two underwear padded with tena on the sides and in the bottom of the underwear, he was still soaked, the bed soaked and all. Now that we use the briefs that has all stopped. Keep trying to use the briefs, Hospice showed me to first put the brief on from the back, push my body up to his,in order to hold the back part on, then pull the rest under, I am able to do that just fine, after I use the ointment on him I just tell him to be very still and not touch the medicine, somehow that works and I get the brief attached. I have the Tena inside the brief before I even start to put it on him.

    For some reason the brief just holds better than the underwear. When I took my husband to the Hospice respite center for me to have a week of rest, the week-end crew for some reason used the underwear on him and of course he was soaked when I went in to check on him, I was so upset , then when they day crew was on I noticed they used the brief and once again he stayed dry. Makes such a difference.
    • CommentAuthorbriegull*
    • CommentTimeSep 11th 2008
     
    Hey maybe putting ointment on would discourage the hands-down-the-pants which I'm sure mine is doing too. You're lucky, though, Kathy - mine just cusses. Dammitdammitdammit etc. on and on and on. All day today!
  1.  
    He never did cuss, at home now both boys told me at work with the other guys, he talked just like them, F words and everything,,I said NO way not your dad,, they said oh ya,, dad,, but even when things went wrong at home the worst I heard his say, was Dog gone it ,he wares the depends, with a boster pad in them Ive even put two booster pads in,, no good,, hes still soaked in the moring, Ive even tryed a diaper over the depends hes still soaked ,he messes his pants all the time now, I think I need to get bars around the toilet, cause he seems to have a hard time setting down and acts like hes afaid hes going to fall so I am going to look for those safty bars that fits over the toilet like a chair, so he can hold onto when he sets, , maybe that will help ,, well I started to clean out one of my closets,, oh my,, what a pile of junk, Ive got to sort and clean up before I go to bed,, so I best go do that, its 11pm, and the eyes are growing heavy,, kathy
  2.  
    Oh I bought a gallon of white vinagar, had the caregiver mop the foors and clean with it,, when I came home, the house had a slite vinagar sent , but smelled so fresh no poopy smell or pee smell, so it works God Bless everyone
  3.  
    Katanshelties - I have the the bars that fit on the toilet and on the other toilet I use a pottie chair without the pottie. Both work
    equally well.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJenene56
    • CommentTimeSep 17th 2008
     
    I just have to give a little up story. When I visited Dale last night I asked him if he needed more pull ups and he said that he hadn't opened the last pack yet but all of a sudden he got such a big smile and said "I kept this one I have on all day and didn't mess in it at all" Well the accomplishments are so few and far between but it is I guess weird to an outsider but that was call for a celebration so I told him next time I come we will celebrate.
    You take good news where you can find it. LOL
    • CommentAuthorcrstrob
    • CommentTimeOct 30th 2008
     
    I haven't had time to read all of the comments in this section but I searched for "incontinence" because maybe once a month or so, my husband wets the bed. Three days ago, he did so and we had to get up and change the sheets in the middle of the night. The rest of the night he wore a Depends with no problem (I do have 2 waterproof mattress pads so I can exchange those if he does have an accident). The next night I got the Depends out for him to wear. As he was putting it on (a pull-up with underwear over it and then pj's), he was looking at me as if to say "Why am I doing this?" Then when he got in bed, he tossed and turned and I could tell he was upset. The next thing I knew he had removed everything from the waist down, got out of bed and said "I'm going away." After I finally convinced him to come back to bed and I gave in to not wearing the Depends, he went right to sleep. I didn't (of course)!!! How am I going to get him to wear the Depends? Help! Maybe the answer is in one of the messages that has already been written and if so, I'm sorry because I haven't had time to read all of them today.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeOct 30th 2008
     
    Maybe try what i did at first when DH objected. i put his reg underwear (THilfiger or HAnes) and then the depend over that. it takes some gettng up to the feel of the depends instead of cotton i think. i think this helped mine to transition into just the depends. we wear two depends all the time now. one depend then the tena or another brand over that for backup. i also got the rubber snap pants to go over all of this if needed =so far so good -divvi
    • CommentAuthorbriegull*
    • CommentTimeOct 30th 2008
     
    I think this is one of those things that can be attributed to the Dementor: the demon that makes things happen to people with Alzheimer's. It's not HIS fault; it's the fault of AZ. And he's outwitting it by wearing the Depends. I think my husband considered the Depends the lesser of two evils: wear them or listen to me nagging about going to the bathroom, etc, etc all the time! He's very pleased with himself though when "the water" stays in the Depends all night and doesn't leak out to the pads etc.
    • CommentAuthorcrstrob
    • CommentTimeOct 31st 2008
     
    Thanks divvi...I am going to try your suggestion. That just might be the answer. My son also had what I think is a good suggestion...that I put a Depends on also and tell my husband that we are both wearing them to make sure we get a good night's sleep. We'll see how this goes. I love this website. :-)
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeNov 2nd 2008
     
    Crstrob, let us know how its working!
    i do admit i threw out alot of reg underwear using this method cause it got messy sometimes:) but the feel of soft cotton against the skin vs. depends needs getting used to plus it keeps them from getting rashes from the chaffing of depends. you can find discount soft reg underwear in packs while you transition- i tried wearing a depend to show DH too-have to admit it was nasty..hahaha divvi
    • CommentAuthorAlice
    • CommentTimeNov 2nd 2008
     
    I tried to read all thru this long thread - incontinence is a huge issue, isn't it. What the heck do you do when your DH won't sit and is holding onto his shorts so tightly and gets very angry if you try to get him to lower them much less sit to poop. He is in the hospital now on a wonderful med adj.(sarcastically said) and has on their blue disposable shorts. He refuses to wear a depends and is so confused on where to go even if directed and then is sooo stubborn (ok I know he can't help it). He will go out in the hallway at the hospital and just pull the shorts aside by the legs and do whatever business he needs down his legs and on the floor. He is having trouble with aggression and he was beginning to have this issue with incontinence at the memory care unit he lives. Any more suggestions or is this just a phase we have to go thru. Even if a depend is on him, he will strip and go on the floor.
    • CommentAuthorcrstrob
    • CommentTimeNov 6th 2008
     
    Just letting you know that I'm waiting for another "accident" before trying the suggestion of underwear/Depends/PJ's in that order. I'm pretty sure he will not cooperate with the Depends right now since it has been 9 days since his accident. He most likely has forgotten he did that at all. So I'm just planning to wait for the next wet bed and at that time try divvi's idea when it's fresh in his mind. Wish me luck. :-)
    • CommentAuthorSunshyne
    • CommentTimeNov 6th 2008
     
    I'll wish you luck that the accident was a one-time thing, and that you'll go a loooooooong time before you need the Depends! :-)
    •  
      CommentAuthorStarling*
    • CommentTimeNov 7th 2008
     
    crstrob, there is a thread where someone said that they just put the depends out and called it "your underwear" and the LO accepted it. No discussion. Just did it.

    I had a lot of problems with wanting my husband to tell me what he wanted to eat for lunch and dinner. I finally had to accept that he could no longer even choose between two different things. Instead I just tell him what I'm going to make. Sometimes he tells me he wants to go out for lunch, and that is perfectly OK, so we do it. Sometimes he has a problem with some part of what I'm going to make, and if that happens it is OK too. Frozen bagles instead of the stale bread we had, for example.

    Sometimes we just have to accept that we aren't going to be talking about things that are necessary, but just make the decision and do it.
  4.  
    Starling, you are so right- I also have the problem of what to eat. So no longer do I ask - I just fix - and mostly he is okay with it. If he doesn't like it, he will usually go to the frig and find something he does like! He will also want to go out for lunch and that's okay too. Then I have to suggest something from the menu he might like- sometimes yes, sometimes no! Just go with the flow.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeNov 7th 2008
     
    Alice, i feel for you as i was in this predicament last yr with all these issues myself. if it were me now, i would get him into his fav pants with a belt and put the double depends on and put the pants on then buckle his belt around his BACK so he cant get out of the pants. also buck and buck.com has specialty clothing for this which is a onepiece suit like jumpsuit that zips all the way in the back so they cant get out of it and remove underwear. this is a very trying time when this sort of thing is going on. maybe this type of clothing could help..(((()))))divvi
    •  
      CommentAuthorStarling*
    • CommentTimeNov 7th 2008
     
    Vickie, I also offer him one thing from the menu at a time. At this point he still reads very well. I guess all of those newspapers are going him some good. He actually read our grandson a story last weekend too. In fact he understands better if there is a picture or he can read what I'm offering. So I get him onto the "specials" page and point to what I'm suggesting. That is still working. He can say yes or no, and I don't get as many "I don't knows" that way.

    When I choose something I know he has already had and liked, I tell him that he has had it before and liked it. When he tells me something that we brought home for a meal was good, I remind him that I knew he would like it because he had it before and always liked it. I'm hoping that as time goes on it will help him trust me to make the decisions when he can't any more.

    The fact that someone with an 11 on the 50 point MMSE test can actually read and understand what he is reading is pretty amazing, but as a strategy for the future it is not going to last much longer.
    • CommentAuthorbriegull*
    • CommentTimeNov 19th 2008
     
    Recently I was in a med supply store and found some "boosts" to put inside the 'whities' - the pull-up underpant style disposables. I tuck them in and really seal the stickum-strip down into the pants, fitting the fold in them to the fold in the pants - and no more leaking through! INCREDIBLE!!
    • CommentAuthorSunshyne
    • CommentTimeJan 4th 2009
     
    ttt
  5.  
    When I was complaining earlier about the frequent escorted potty trips for my DW, especially in late afternoon, my son reminded me that we probably ought to be thankful that we weren't yet having to deal with incontinence -- that maybe the frequent trips represented Frances's attempt to "manage" the situation. Happily, we're not having to deal with incontinence yet, although we've had Frances in CVS brand "protective underwear" pull-ups for several months, following a couple of night-time BM accidents that were probably the result of an upset stomach. Since she didn't protest the change, we just continued it, figuring that the time would come sooner or later when we'd have to make the change anyhow. About a week ago, however, I made the mistake of buying Depends (on the same counter at CVS), and Frances started complaining right away about their not fitting right, which focused some unwanted attention on the subject that we'd just been glossing over. She expressed some belief that one reason why so many of her frequent pee patrol trips were fruitless was that the briefs were somehow pulling the pee right out of her bladder, which I assured her wasn't true, but then I agreed that since she hadn't had any accidents for several months maybe we could go back to "regular" panties (we had continued calling the briefs "panties" as well). Well, wouldn't you know that the very first time I put her back in regular panties she'd have another BM accident -- this one at the breakfast table, soaking right through her nightie, new plush pink robe, and onto the heels of her pink slippers, the toilet seat, and tiled bathroom floor before it was all over! So we're back in the CVS briefs, just in case.

    In reading back over some of the earlier posts on incontinence, I was struck by the number of complaints about spouses (male spouses, from what I gathered) saturating and leaking throughtheir protective underwear -- sometimes even with extra padding, extra layers of briefs, etc. This seemes contradictory to the fact that the underwear "claims" to have a capacity of a quart or more of liquid, whereas the normal bladder capacity is probably more like a pint. Are folks having that same problem with female ADLOs a well, or is it just a male anatomical thing or something like that? After Frances's two earlier "accidents" we did go ahead and get a waterproof matress covering and are placing a waterproof pad under the bottom sheet as well, but I'd like to get an idea of what the future might hold for us.
  6.  
    My husband has been waiting too long to head to the bathroom from the bed at night, so he has dribbled to the bathroom. Three times this week, he had accidents in the bed as well. I put him in the Assurance pants, but he takes them off sometime during the night!!!! One pair he put in the toilet...for your information, those pants will hold a toiletbowl full of water! AND WON'T ALLOW YOU TO SQUEEZE IT OUT! <grin> I had to use several plastic grocery bags to make certain it didn't leak while I got it out of the house! I packed away all regular underpants today and put the Depends in his underwear drawer. We'll see if he responds like your spouses. I knew this was coming, and put the mattress pad on the bed a couple of months ago, thank goodness.
  7.  
    You don't want to accidently put them through the washing machine. Big mistake.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJan 4th 2009
     
    From my experience these days as queen of poop and prolly now 'pee' patrol as well:) i think the major issues with male leakage using the depends is HOW the 'apparatus' ( for use of a better word?") is positioned within the diaper..i know this is touchy but ladies who are dealing with males need to know this. you must remind them to 'position' it downwards into the depends or yes you will never control the leakage out the top when they pee! believe me it took lots of changes to discover the issue. all you GUYS out there!!!step up here and give us females some feedback please!!!!!!!! am i right or not?? in my opinion this will counteract most leakage issues esp if you use the double depend and a pad in it if they pee quantious amounts:) i have had no mattress incidences since i make sure all is arranged well.haha..plus using the large padded plastic bed pads and a huge absorbent towel on top of where he lays on top of the sheet helps bunches just in case..now i have no input for how to correct the issue of poo out the diaper -i am still working on that one...ayy!!!! but out in public the large plastic underwear over the depends is working nicely and are quite fit around the leggs..
    Gourdchipper your breakfast incident happens so often around here i dont even blink anymore...just get as quickly into the shower as possible for a quickie cleanup and new clothes...i NEVER in amillion yrs thought i could be doing what i do and still be sane..so if any of you are doubting your abilities believe me where theres a will theres a way but ONLY if theres a 'will and sometimes i want to rebel bigtime.-like 15min ago i was making brownies and i had to make a poo run to the shower'...haha..Divvi
    •  
      CommentAuthorNikki
    • CommentTimeJan 4th 2009
     
    Divvi, you are my hero!!!
  8.  
    there is so much info here. a schedule for toileting is important all through the day. every 2-3 hours. no drinking after 6 p.m. rubber pad/mattress pad on the bed. and chux underneath and toilet schedule through the night. the care partner can decrease night trips if the incontinence decreases. carry a change or 2 of clothes at all times and dont be afraid to take the person with dementia to your bathroom ( if you are a man and mom needs toileting--you go to which ever is available!!!! a poo schedule is possible too so that the surprises are decreased. this takes a bit more time and even working with a doctor to use suppositories in the beginning to assist in routinizing the poo times.
  9.  
    <<i think the major issues with male leakage using the depends is HOW the 'apparatus' ( for use of a better word?") is positioned within the diaper..i know this is touchy but ladies who are dealing with males need to know this. you must remind them to 'position' it downwards into the depends or yes you will never control the leakage out the top when they pee! believe me it took lots of changes to discover the issue. all you GUYS out there!!!step up here and give us females some feedback please!!!!!!!! am i right or not??>>

    Divvi, except for those tribal folks from New Zealand or wherever that normally wear their "apparatus" in an upward-pointing penis sheath (there's even a gourd named "penis sheath"), I would think that the norm would be "down" -- unless there was something going on.....
  10.  
    Does anyone have any idea why they become incontinent so early in the disease? I remember a nurse friend telling me she was having an intelligent conversation with Bill when he just let go and peed all over her shoes.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJan 4th 2009
     
    Bluedaze, our urologist put my DH thru tortorous testing to find out all about his bladder issues. after lots of anxiety and testing the conclusion was that some form of disconnect from the brain to the bladder happens at points in AD. prolly in both male and females..the mechanism that tells the bladder when /how to shut off and start is malfunctioning. spasms occur and the bladder can not read normal interactive signals. well this was an attempt to explain it anyway. it made sense to me knowing that the neurons in the brain are misfiring and all the body's functions are reaping havoc from the disease.

    love it , gourdchipper. a penis sheath, i need to find one of those....:)Divvi
  11.  
    Toileting on a schedule sounds good until you try to do it with someone who isn't interested in being told what, when or how to do anything. I remember trying to "suggest" to my husband that maybe he should go to the bathroom....well, that is how we got one fist through the bathroom wall...easier to just clean up the mess.......

    But, if you have one of the "easy" ones...it might work. But, if I could get my husband to sit on the toilet I would have to sit on his lap to get him to stay there. That is a picture, isn't it?

    Divvi, when my husband was bedbound the "position of the apparatus" was very important...if it was pointed up instead of down then everything in the bed was soaked. I used to think I should develop "penis tape" to hold it in place.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJan 4th 2009
     
    Sandi, thanks for that validation! its just amazing what we have to learn this late in life:)divvi
    • CommentAuthorSunshyne
    • CommentTimeJan 4th 2009
     
    Sandi, develop the tape, and Joan can sell it through her on-line store...
  12.  
    I've developed a few techniques to handle my wife's incontinence.
    1) Before we go anywhere I get her to use the toilet. She is usually pretty good about this. If we are at home, or in a place that has a "one holer" I go in with her and make sure she is cleaned after.
    2) At night I get her up every time I get up (usually every 2 hours). She does OK with this with only minimal complaining.
    3) In addition to a plastic mattress pad, I have an "Incontinence" pad which goes under her. If she has an accident at night I only have to wash this smaller pad, not the full mattress pad, plus the sheets.
    4) She wears Depends all the time. We don't even have any regular underpants now. Each time she sits on the toilet I check to see if any urine has collected. If it has, I change the Depend. Some nights she will go through 4 or 5 a night. This has improved since I have made her cut down on the coffee at supper.
    5) Occasionally there will be a problem with BM's, but so far this is not a problem. Yesterday she had a very loose stool (in the toilet) but when she got up there was more on her bottom which went on the floor. I got that cleaned up with a wash cloth.

    The last couple of packages of Depends I bought had a notice that they are developing a special one for men, which may take care of the problem of position of the "apparatus". I haven't seen one yet.
    • CommentAuthorbriegull*
    • CommentTimeJan 4th 2009
     
    I had just been thinking we should bring this to the top again. So many people seem to be told by family, and buy into, the idea that "I'll have to put them in a nursing home when they become incontinent." WRONG! As you can read above, a lot of people develop it a lot sooner than the "stages" indicate. If you have ever taken care of pets and their needs, or babies and THEIR eliminations, you can handle a spouse if they're cooperative. I'm not saying the time to put them in a nursing home may not come, simply that incontinence isn't a SUFFICIENT reason, in and of itself, to put them in a facility.

    Also, a great many of us have found (go back and search through the threads) that toileting on a schedule and having a "toilet schedule through the night" is fine maybe if they're in a nursing home. It is NOT fine if you have an uncooperative, large husband. It is NOT fine if you want to have enough sleep in the night to be able to manage the next day on your own, which is the case with most of us here.

    Why in the world would one put oneself through either of these if one can calmly say "you've been having so much trouble getting to the toilet on time, let's try putting on these "whities" to catch anything that comes out before you get to the pot" and this is accepted by the spouse as the face-saving way of not having to go through making all the changing of clothes when they have an accident? And why in the world would one drag a spouse into the "wrong sex" bathroom IF they are willing to wear the "whitie" when they go out for lunch? Which is more "demeaning" to the spouse? Going where they know they're not allowed or wearing something invisible to the outside?

    The good pull-up types (I've found Wal-Marts Assurance ones work as well as Depends and are a lot cheaper) last through the night (IF the damned equipment is pointed down, and IF you have a boost pad in). Dosing with one immodium a day (plain otc) helps some with bowel incontinence - at least makes the stool more formed!)

    (bluedaze, I've seen a guy on a NYC subway, sitting across from me, just let go and be completely oblivious. backstory, dunno!)
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 4th 2009
     
    My FIL didn't loose bladder and bowel control until after he went into the Alzheimer unit. I never thought about it until reading this thread. After my MIL funeral, we took him up to their campground for the night and he had no problem. Mentally he spoke a little but had no idea who we were. It was sad cause at the funeral, when he looked into the casket there was a brief connection with a few tears then he went back into his black hole.

    My BIL, after his stroke when he went downhill and lost control my sister got diapers from the VA. There were two types - one was made for males with just the padding front to back -nothing on the sides. It attached by belts on the sides. When he kept soaking himself at night they sent the full diaper - not depends (seemed likes his kidneys went into hyper mode at night as many others have experienced). Eventually we found out why he would be soaked in the morning yet his diaper could be dry - he would reach down when he needed to pee and whip it out of the diaper. She then got the condoms which took a while to put on to stay on (you have to shave them) but they were nice once he could no longer pull them off.

    Fortunately with my husband I am not there yet.
  13.  
    From CharoletteE - "Eventually we found out why he would be soaked in the morning yet his diaper could be dry - he would reach down when he needed to pee and whip it out of the diaper."

    Unfortunately, we've reached that point. This morning, I had to strip the bed including the mattress pad :-( He woke up twice during the night and used the commode, but still had to pee and whipped it out. I put several chux under the sheet as well as a cotton waterproof pad on top, but it still wasn't enough.

    I think tonite I'll put a pair of his cotton brief's on first, then a depends. Hopefully, it will make it a bit harder to get it out :-) Hospice gave us some diapers, but he won't wear them. That's one battle I don't have the energy to fight right now.

    Mary
  14.  
    Well, here was my Saturday -- I woke up and went to the bathroom. When I flushed the toilet, it overflowed (just number one....I don't know what he tried to flush down before me or whether the floor was partially wet already when I sat down)..but water ran all over the bathroom floor and part of the bedroom floor before I could stop it. It took many towels to soak up the water, and the bedroom rug (on hardwood floors) and the bathroom rug were drenched. And the comforter on our bed was a couple of inches on the floor when the water escaped and got it wet as well. And our blanket underneath at the foot of the bed where he had taken it out from being tucked in. So, one load of rugs; one load of towels; one load of blanket; one load of sheets; and taking the comforter to the laundry so that they could wash and dry it for me....at a cost of $25.00...(it's too big for my machine). It took me all day - while trying to guide him, feed him, take him to get his haircut, pick up his vest that was at the alterations shop (he had gained a couple of inches around the waist in the three years since he wore it last!) (it's for his tux for the cruise)....

    Oh well.....today I was able to take time to get online again! <grin>
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2009
     
    Been there done that
    Mary, its alot of work when it happens! glad you got it all taken care of til ----nextime!" ugh..Divvi
  15.  
    Oh Mary!!!
    • CommentAuthorBar-bra
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2009
     
    Mary ........ you are a kind and gentle woman !

    Have you ever considered using *duct tape* to wrap his penis down to his leg ? - I know it sounds strange but might just work. If you were to take a length of duct tape; keep about 2" on each end flat and then roll the middle section into itself so its like a flat rope; stick one 2" end on his leg, bring the flat rope piece gently around the penis and then stick the other 2" end onto the first piece - it might just make it enough of an obsticle that he wouldn't take his penis out at night and pee in bed. You could probably get several nights wear out of one piece before it lost its sticky and you had to make a new one

    We're not only urinary incontinent which I can deal with but also stool incontinent and husband has forgotten totally how to wipe himself or where to even wipe himself (he doesn't know where his anus is anymore) ..... I'm solving the problem by showering him after a bowel movement - usually he just has a movement once a day and usually firm so the showering afterwards is working well - doesn't really matter if he has his shower mid-day, mid-afternoon or evening before bed .... does it?

    The other alternative my Son suggested is that we buy one of those *bum washing* toilets - I had talked to the plumber about one some time ago and he said they weren't hard to install and since I had electrical near by it would be possible in our bathroom configurtion ....... might just consider this option.

    Being in Canada our WalMart products are somewhat different. I'm thinking the absorbant undergarments you are buying in the US under the *Advantage* name (is that the right name?) is the same thing we have here in our WMs under the name of *Equate* ...... anyway, I went to WM a couple of days ago to check the pricing out ..... buying Depends at Costco for about $35/40 is more expensive than buying the WM Equate brand for $13/20 ...... I bought one package to try and hopefully they'll be every bit as good as that's quite a price difference and would make a huge saving in our budget if they work just as well.

    I never though 48 years ago that I'd have to be budgeting for Adult Depends! .... LoL !!!!!!
  16.  
    Bar-bra, it is the OTHER things he flushes down the toilet that causes my problems!!!!! He takes the empty toilet paper rolls and tears them and flushes them down the toilet; and the paper cups, and the empty medicine bottles!!!!

    I got him to wear and use the depends by bribing him with the cruise....for the cruise, he's wearing and using the depends...all regular underwear has been hidden away... He doesn't have accidents in bed during the night, except that he might have some dribble in front of the toilet.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2009 edited
     
    boy, i dont think duct tape is the answer here ladies!!! ouch! i would try putting them in pants with 2 super absorbant depends and a pair of the plastic overpants over them -used with a belt that buckles in the back on thier pants at nite so they cant get to the 'apparatus' and just have to pee in the depends. please for DH sake dont use ducttape..i am sure the guys are going to weigh in on this one..hahaha...from my own experience putting my DH in two heavy duty depends and the plastic pants over that and then his elastic waisted jog pants over that, even i have a hard time helping him 'get to it' in the bathroom! divvi
  17.  
    Thanks for taking the men's side, divvi -- what Bar-bra was proposing sounded like a male version of the ancient chastity belt! She might wish to run that idea by the CIA and see if they would want to consider it as a replacement for waterboarding.....
    • CommentAuthorAnn*
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2009
     
    I know this is not meant to be funny but it sounds funny.Come on you guys,tell us how to handle the problem.You'll be doing our husbands a REAL FAVOR.
  18.  
    Oh Mary, you really had a time. My having to strip the bed including the blankets was minor conpared to you.

    Knock on wood, we haven't reached the flushing things yet -) The only thing he does is re-arrange everything on the bathroom counter and dining table.

    Putting the cotton briefs under the depends worked last nite. Everything was dry this morning. I'll try it again tonite. Either he slept soundly or the brief made it more difficult to get it out: :-) We see [grin]

    Mary
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2009 edited
     
    GC-hilarious! Divvi
    i just couldnt let them use the ductape.. i remember my DH was in hospital with catheter in for days and they DID tape it to his leg with just medical tape much less duct tape- so he couldnt reach with his hands. they also taped to his arm where iv's where -.when the nurse tried to cut then pull off that tape i knew she was going to get a fist in her face..unless the area is SHAVED it doesnt work! and so painful..i watched her say 1-2-3 and pull it off hair and all and it bled. i cant tell you how my DH bellowed--i would not allow them to do it again without shaving the hair off first. now if yall try that one with your AD spouse, i want to know!:) Divvi
  19.  
    I was laughing so hard at GC's comments that I couldn't type a response! I'm just grateful that my husband only needs depends for occasional dribbles if he waits too long before going to the bathroom. I've read what you do, divvi, and there were some others with similar suggestions about a year ago on an earlier discussion group that I thought I could use as a back-up, should the need arise. But never tape. He gets a rash from a band-aid!
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      CommentAuthorfolly*
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2009
     
    Ann, although it probably wasn't mean to be, I gotta tell you, "Come on guys, tell us how the handle the problem" strikes me as pretty funny. Just my perverted sense of humor, I guess. I do love a good pun. <VBG>
  20.  
    Ann said: <<Come on you guys,tell us how to handle the problem.You'll be doing our husbands a REAL FAVOR.>>

    Ann, getting someone, man or woman, to willfully pee in their pants as long as they have any modicum of bladder control is probably just going against human nature. Our son thinks that explains Frances's too-oft-repeated trips to the potty -- fighting incontinence as hard as she can. But if you could make it feel like peeing in your bathing suit in the swimming pool, that would be a different matter entirely -- come on, confess that you can still remember the delightful warm feeling when you did it .... Seriously, sleeping pills might be the answer if the spouse is incontinent already.

    divvi said: <<i remember my DH was in hospital with catheter in for days and they DID tape it to his leg with just medical tape >>

    divvi, I wish they HAD taped my catheter to my leg or something when the nurse tripped over my catheter line while i was in for bypass sugery a couple of years ago -- OUCH! But I forgave her because she was pretty....
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2009
     
    A good alternative to tape it the elastic gauze - the wrap they use instead of tape when you give blood. When I give blood I would save it. The last time I gave I said something to the tech there. She gave me the end rolls they had left. Besides boo-boos, I find other uses for it. I am not there, but I would think it would work great by wrapping around the leg to hold a catheter on.