This website was set up to provide the unique support and information needed for spouses of Alzheimer patients. I have worked tirelessly for two years to provide those resources and support. All of my hard work is now being threatened by sarcastic back and forth bickering on the message boards. I have stated numerous times that differing opinions are welcome as long as they are expressed with respect and dignity. Unfortunately, I have spent last two days responding to angry e-mails, as well as monitoring and deleting insults, misunderstandings, and rude comments.
I am requesting that you please IGNORE rambling posts that annoy you. Responding to them does nothing but add fuel to the fire and encourage continuation. As with AD, when you don’t argue back, the situation is diffused. This problem has taken up so much of my time, that I have been unable to update and add new features to the home page.
While I was writing this, I checked in on the latest post. It is the final one. I closed the discussion and directed anyone who wishes to continue it to an e-mail address. I will not allow monopolization, insults, and arguing to take the place of genuine needed support for Alzheimer’s spousal issues.
Secondly, there is another issue that is of great concern to me. When new members join, I always remind them that these message boards are only PART of the website. A great deal of time and effort has been expended to provide you with the latest news, information, resources, and Alzheimer products. I have encouraged everyone to log onto the home page every day to read the new blogs and information. Just yesterday, I posted the link to the text and videos from the International Alzheimer’s Conference in Vienna. Yet, when I read the message boards, there is often an alert to a news link that has been up on my home page for days. Just this morning, someone kindly suggested that I put a link up to the Alzheimer Store, which carries products for Alzheimer patients. That link has been up there for a year and a half. I have moved it around on the page in order to catch everyone’s attention. It is currently on the right side.
I had a choice when I started this website. I could have put up only message boards, and let them run by themselves; I could have gone to a blogging site, and just written a blog. I could have put up a basic website and left it alone. I chose to provide an all purpose, up to date, full service website. I do hope you will take advantage of it, and log on every day.
One of our members generously offered the consultation services of a family member to help me clean up the home page so it is less cluttered, and I will do so when the message boards settle down to their intended purpose.
This topic was meant to diffuse the bickering, not enflame it. I thank you to those who offered support. To those who have negative comments about the website design - I appreciate any constructive criticism of the website design. I currently have 3 people working on it. However, nothing has been done for 3 days, because all of my time has been taken up with referreeing.
PLEASE NOTE: The guidelines for posting on this website are clearly stated in above "sticky" topic - "Website Guidelines". Those who violate the guidelines will be subjected to having their comments deleted, and if the behavior continues, will be banned from the website. The guidelines that have been clearly violated, in particular are:
Inappropriate language Disrespect of other members Personal attacks on other members
I will not allow violations of these guidelines.
It is also extremely important to note the disclaimer that is clearly stated:
"These boards are not intended to provide personal, professional, medical, or psychological advice, and should not be relied upon to govern behavior in any certain or particular circumstances. These boards are not to be used as a substitute for counseling by those in need of serious professional mental health services. The opinions on the message boards are not necessarily endorsed by the owner of this website, and are the opinions of those persons writing the messages. All material on the message boards is for demonstration and informational purposes only."
When you notice a post by someone new who has obviously posted for the sole purpose of causing trouble, IGNORE IT.
The rules have been restated; The request that you follow them has been made. If you have any problems with me or my rules, you can e-mail me at joan@thealzheimerspouse.com.
The address for Stuntgirl's blog is http://stuntgirlsownwords.blogspot.com/
This subject is now closed. Let's get back to the main purpose of the boards - offering support, information, and the wisdom of our experience to those who are struggling with spousal issues related to Alzheimer's Disease and related dementias.
It is good to see us back on target and supporting those in need. If we could package our combined knowledge and compassion we just might be able to conquer the monster.
Thank you, Joan for taking control ot the situation and bringing us back on target. I really value the time I spenf on this site--mostly reading and gaining a lot of very supportive insight.
Dear Joan, thank you for all the hard work you do. I can't even imagine how many hours a day you spend doing this. I personally appreciate this site. I've not done a lot of posting for the last couple or three weeks, but I have been reading. I've got things fairly well under control here for now--now I'll be able to post again. Thanks again.