I heard about this website from someone looking for products that would help while caring for a person with dementia. They have some different items. Maybe Joan could get a link to it to help raise some funds, if possible.
I thought this might be a good place to put activities we found that our LO can do and enjoy. I got this puzzle for Lynn and he really likes it. One of his children thought it was too childish for him, demeaning. I just do not see it that way. If he can do ANYTHING I think it should be encouraged. And it is tools! Perfect for him :)
deb that store has some good things, i bought some things from there as well.
nikki, i agree 100%. it really ticks me off when someone suggests what DH enjoys or is ABLE to do is childish and demeaning. its 'demeaning' only in the eyes of the beholder in my opinion. why arent more folks in tune to the fact that dementia reverts our loved ones back to early childhood levels?? for years i have been buying puzzles/contraptions that would be considered childish, yet i see my DH smile and laugh at them and actually be motivated to use his mind Even if its a toddlers puzzle. you give him something that is more advanced that would be considered "adult appropriate?" that he could have done in beginning stages he has no clue what to do with it. its a waste of money and time. i have baskets of adult appropriate entertaining options and most do nothing for him. i agree that any stimulation is better than none at all. and by the way, i love the catalog and some of those 'toys' i will be getting myself for DH! thanks for the headsup nikki. divvi
Nikki, the important thing is, you gave him pleasure. Doesn't matter what his children think, it only matters that he enjoys it. Good on you. Have a hug. (-:
The link to the Alzheimer Store has been up on my home page for a year and a half - it is on the right side - scroll down and you will see it. For a long time, it was on the right side. If no one is noticing it, I will put it on the right side again. If you buy the products through my link, I get a small commission on it.
Divvi, I use to get frustrated when his children said things. Folly, I agree this is about Lynn and what brings HIM pleasure. Now others opinions no longer matter to me. I know that sounds so horrible....but they are not their for Lynn. To me that is unfogivable. Whenever I start to feel badly about something that was said, I remember trisinger's wise words.
"Don't you just love people who aren't around to help you in your caregiving, but feel they have some sort of jurisdiction over the caregiving anyway?
Here's my take on it (for what it's worth):
If you aren't around the LO more than 24 hours in any given week, you have no say. If you haven't traded lives with me for at least 48 hours in a row, you have no say. If you have never taken the AD patient to the mall and out to eat by yourself, you have no say. If you didn't show any interest in the person before they got sick, you have no say." ((trisinger)) miss your wit and wisdom ((hug))
Years ago, after my Dad had passed away, my Mom woulf still have my Aunt and Uncle bring my Grandfather down to stayfor a week or two, to gibve them a break. At that time his decline was just called old age senility. As soon as my youngest sister and brother knew he was coming, they'd pull out all the old board games (for younger ages) and make trip to the library where they'd pick up upper elementary level books--usually history and biographies. He loved the books and thery enjoyed playing the games with him.
I agree totally with Nikki's take on criticism from the non-involved. I went so far, when dealing with the driving and street ready power chair issue, to tell DH's siblings (paraphrased) "If you cannot respect my decisions s his wife and Caregiver, you will have to respect them from me as his Legal Guardian." I absolutely hate confrontation, but I have learned, to some degree, and am still learning to stand up and face them down. Mostly, I just get tired of playing the same song--just new verses.
((carosi)) Kudos to you!! You go girl :) We all have enough to worry about caring for our loved ones. We just do not need the hassle of dealing with "seagulls" *wink
"If you cannot respect my decisions s his wife and Caregiver, you will have to respect them from me as his Legal Guardian."
If you aren't around the LO more than 24 hours in any given week, you have no say. If you haven't traded lives with me for at least 48 hours in a row, you have no say. If you have never taken the AD patient to the mall and out to eat by yourself, you have no say. If you didn't show any interest in the person before they got sick, you have no say."
I like these ...... I have a new attitude in dealing with my husbands family and this helps and supports my thinking. Thanks.
Forgot to add.. I am a middle child, the peace maker. So, I too try to avoid confrontations. It is my nature to try to help fix a problem without causing any waves. But, I have found when it comes to Lynn, I am protective like a momma bear! I reached the point of no return so to speak. Lynn is my only priority now. When it comes to his care I have no problem creating waves now, more like a tsunami!
Nikki - I was wondering if any of Lynn's family tries to "visit" him in the home he's at now? Or is it always just you...When/if my DH is placed, it's something I have thought about and wondering if they will...they don't come now except occasionally...we saw them @ Father's Day for about an hour & 1/2 and b4 that, it was Christmas Day. Just want to get your perspective on it...Thanks! BTW, love your "If you..." take on things! :)
The day he was placed, they all came. They made it worse and the staff had to ask them to leave because lynn didn't want "them people" there. But they did come. The first couple of weeks he had a few visits. That was it.
Now, no one comes. His three sons live right here. None of them are more than 15 minutes away. His daughter lives out of state and has come twice. When I was sick with bronchitis and told them he could die if they didn't go in and try to help feed him. They didn't come. That was the day I hardened my heart. I will never say anything to them. I wont cause any fights, I wont dishonor Lynn that way. I will always love them because of the good times we had and because they are part of Lynn. But, I will also never forgive them for not being there for their Dad.
He doesn't know he even has children now. But, he knows my niece and nephew!! Why? Because they love him, and they visit him all the time. I know this sounds so harsh, and yes I am angry.....but if Lynn can still remember me, still remember my niece and nephew, my sisters... He COULD still remember his children. The reason he doesn't is all on them. They saw him on average once a year at Christmas for the past 8-10 years. That makes one easy to forget in my eyes!!
When he was first placed everyone was all over us. Calls, visits to the home, opinions everywhere. Seagulls! Now, it is back to normal. Nothing. I imagine they will come for Christmas. Why bother? Geeeez, I didn't know I was this bitter. Need to work on that. So, my humble opinion. If they don't come now, they may flock around him at placement time, but then it will go back to what it was. *sigh