Last night, I didn't get much sleep. We went to bed as usual but DH couldn't sleep. Too much on his mind. So he sat on the couch a while, then got dressed and stood on the deck a while, got cold and came in. Then he took his pillow and a blanket and slept on the floor in a back room. This was about 2:30 p.m. It makes it really hard to sleep with them on your mind. I got may be 2 hours. the funny thing is that he wasn't mad or worked-up about anything. This happens from time to time but it is still disturbing to me.
this morning, I woke him up to have coffee before I left for work. Still no anger. he was talking about how he wasn't going to be around for very long. I told him that he would probably be surprised how long he was going to be around. He told me that even if it was a few more years that it still bothered him.
Last night, he was calm and agreeable but was not on top of it. He called me in from the kitchen and asked me what the things with eyes were called. He was reading the want advs and was going to tell me about something. May be a dog or a cat, I really don't remember now, but he had the adv right in front of him and couldn't remember the name of the "thing with eyes." I was able to help him figure it out.
On a happier note, I called the insurance company that my Daughter and son-in-law suggested and they can save me over $100 a month over what I pay now and it will be better coverage on our vehicles.
I came pretty close to tears typing this. That doesn't happen very often with me. Also, since he hasn't worked now for 10 1/2 years, his SS statement says that he no longer qualifies for SS disability. This really bummed us out. I don't think that he realized that this would happen. I knew it though. He always had it in the back of his mind that some day, when he felt bad enough, he would apply for it. Now that option is out. I told him that he could apply for SSI but I have my doubts as we have too many "toys" and a large house.
Mary, I'm having a pretty blue day, too, WEEK, actually. Isn't it odd how everyone here handles this disease and their worries in a different way? I hate it lately that I have a need to come here and SPEW, but I do and it makes me feel better and if not 'better' lets me know I'm not alone. That I'm not 'strange'. I'm sorry that you find yourself in the situation you're in. Financially, I mean. I think most of us have that crap on our minds. Someone started a thread about "stuff"......personally, I'm not interested in getting more stuff. I'm liking the stuff we've worked all our life to have, though, mostly my farm.....and sure am attached to the heirlooms my parents have passed on to me....gorgeous furniture, other amenities. I wouldn't want to loose that so I could 'qualify' for some program. Funny, a lot of peoplel I know around here think I'm "set"....they don't know that what they see is all I've GOT! To qualify for SSI they look at your "toys" and the house you live in? Even if those things are paid for? How about if you show up in nice fashionable clothing and exhibit good manners? Do the gov't agencies think that when you suddenly find yourself in need, everything is supposed to turn to DIRT and have moth holes in it???? I hope you all can work out some solution to your current problem......seems one thing leads to another, huh? My father (who has been supporting my farm for the last year and a half) has always told me that the horse industry is the Sport of Kings......lately, I've told him that, no, planing on the care of an ALZ spouse is!!!! I get very very worried sometimes. Like everyone else, I guess.
Hi Mary, I'm glad to see you're still a working girl like me. Because we are, sleep is very important. Have you thought about a mild sleep aid? I take a low dose Xanax (not all the time) and it helps me fall asleep without feeling groggy in the morning. My hubby can't "turn his brain off'" at night sometime as well. He's not agitated or anything. When I ask him why he can't sleep or be still, he says he's "just restless". I just let him wander, but I hear you when you say it's hard to sleep when their wandering. I guess for us there are no easy answers. On to the good news, that's great about your insurance! Better coverage foe less is a plus. I wish I could advise you on the SSI, my DH is on straight Social Security. I can tell you the process was easy and quick, not a hassle at all. No more tears, and please keep in touvh. I have my arms around you! ~Di
Last night and again this morning, DH is putting a lot of effort into being nice. You can tell it is a real struggle for him. This morning he got really short with me about some math figures he was trying to do in his head. He does everything in his head and I have to do it all on paper, go figure. He is planning footings, forms and a cement floor for a friend's garage and needed to figure out how much rebar to get. It was not going well and so he asked me to write some stuff down for him, which I did. Then he lost track of where he was on the picture in his head. Anyway, he started to get worked up and blame me for not writing it down so he could understand it. I had to tell him that it was time for me to go to work. As I was driving to work, he called me on my cell phone and told me to have a good day and that he loved me.
What bothers me about him having to try so hard to stay nice is that it uses up more of his energy and then when he gets overly tired, he crashes. This is the same thing that happens at family get togethers.
Boy, can I relate to that, Mary. DH does the same thing - so good, then crashes. We have very few family get-to-gethers anymore. And I really miss that!
TJ, you are so lucky. So many of us deal with the anger/rage 24X7. I just came out of a really long streatch of this. And, one really bad week probably because of the full moon and the bank statement. He always has a "try to be happy" period following this. What a roller coaster ride.
well, I gased up his truck at noon today; today is payday. We have to pre-pay now in Montana so I paid for $50. It filled it up, 19.26 gallons, but did not "top it off." I figured that he would be happy or at least have a happy reaction. He asked if it filled it. I told him no but that it was pretty close. He started on a small rant about how he had told me about letting the tanks get to empty, the price of gas, etc. I just stood there for two or three minutes and listened. Then I said, ya, your right and gave him a kiss. He didn't really know what to say but he stopped the rant.
Mary.....when I brought John home from Florida, he was full of anger and rages. His medications were adjusted when his doc placed him in the hospital, so now, I have little of that to deal with. Lately, he just sleeps all the time in a dark room, refuses to come downstairs even to the couch to let me turn on the tv for him. Its so quiet here. Not at all the home I'd envisioned having. No spark of any activity. You're lucky he can at least discuss the price of gas and concern for the vehicle....and that you can step right up and feel like giving him a kiss!