My dearest loved ones, I don't know how I would get through the day without you all. Dylan is doing very well, we have a day pass for 6-8 hrs tomorrow! It's so quiet here at home. Mom and I miss our boys. We will take him to lunch and shopping for some school clothes and then he wants to see Papa. So we will have a short family visit and then Mom will take Dylan back and I will have some alone time with Jim. I saw some close friends and my brother today, did some very cleansing crying. My brother was treating to dinner out, I was not up to going, so I suggested they treat Courtney to a rare dinner out and Diego and I stayed home. It is just uncomfortable for me to go out right now. I look like a mess, feel like a mess and just want the comfort of home. The thought of running into people I know in this tiny village, was too much for me. I know they'll ask for Jim and I didn't want to have to explain. Does that make sence. It feels like such a loss, I feel so empty yet so full of pain. I'm longing to go to sleep and get today overwith and see Jim tomorrow. I called him just before I logged on and he was in good spirits and his biggest concern was losing his recliner to another patient while on the phone! So it was a short but sweet call, who knew. He I am miserable and his biggest worry is a recliner! God Bless Him. I'm hoping the church will hold a spagetti supper to help raise funds to buy him his own recliner for the nursing home. I'll even put his Name on IT!
Dear Susan L ..sorry for the heartache you are going through...you wonder just how much a person can bear..You are a very strong person, hang in there, and things will get better for you. You and your family will be in my prayers...hugs..Rosalie
Susan - "He I am miserable and his biggest worry is a recliner! God Bless Him." Yes, it is "us", the "care-givers" who have hearts that are broken, but thankfully, our loved ones don't "remember" if they do "hurt". Praying your heart will heal more & more each day as you allow these latest events to settle into your mind. And, it's okay to cry...It really is. In fact, I cried tonite & haven't in a long time...for just the things you were describing in prev post about "the man you married no longer being that person"...it's hard when those thoughts come into our minds...tears come, no matter how hard we try to be "strong". Take care of you and enjoy your time with Dylan tomorrow.
Had a great visit with Dylan today and then we all visited with Jim for a bit. He and Dylan enjoyed about a 10 minuted visit and then my Mom took him back to his unit. Jim and I talked and he told me that he had something to tell me and for me not to be upset????? He had an EKG and it showed that sometime in the last week or so he had suffered a mild heart attack! The EKG is being reviewed by a cardiologist and then the decision will be made as to whether or not he needs any cardiac meds. I did notice some slight edema in his feet today. I was shocked. I am calling his dr first thing tomorrow. I am somewhat ticked off and concerned that NO ONE called to tell me. Meanwhile, he is happy in his recliner and takes pride in helping an elderly woman eat her dinner, lol. She won't eat for the staff, but he can convince her to eat. He was quite proud of himself>> Hoping to bring Dylan home tomorrow or Tuesday and then Jims family arrives for the rest of the week.
Dylan has a 10 yr old PUPPY, thank you very much and I clean up after him. Jim is ok, he is content in his recliner and knowing that we are looking for a placement. The Veteran's Home nearby, does not have an opening just yet so he the best option is a Nursing Home associated with the hospital that he is in about an hour from here. He is actually looking forward to placement and getting settled, he amazes me as he continues to worry about how much rest I'm getting :o) It takes so little to please him now, a fruit collata from Dunkin Donuts makes his day :o) Life should always be that simple. As I sit here I can here Dylan and Diego giggling, what beautiful music.
Such good news Susan. Sounds like a calm has come to the house now. Glad to hear Jim is content and doing well. And that Dylan is giggling! So good to hear.