I was riding with my oldest sister today when we were talking about our sister that is between us (1 year older than hb) - how she keeps forgetting how to do things on the computer after her son shows her. I think it is because her son is controlling and laughs at her when she forgets. My sister pops up with 'I guess she has dementia too' and was laughing. I didn't see it as funny and told her so. She said 'yes it is'. As she is laughing I said 'no it isn't.' I wanted to jump out and walk home. My sister had an MRI a few months ago that showed normal frontal lobe shrinkage for her age (70), but she keeps comparing herself as the same problem as my husband.
How things change. I use to think all those cartoons and jokes about forgetting were funny, but right now I don't. I guess the reality is still too raw. I don't even like it when Art jokes about it. Probably in the future, I will find humor, but not now.
I agree, Charlotte. People who know our situation don't "think before they speak" and often I hear a little "joke" about "old-timer's disease" or "senior moment"...i too wonder if these things will ever sound 'okay' to me and thinking, as Terry said, "never". Until you have to deal with this directly, it seems that the general public just doesn't get it. Like many things of life, it's hard to "see it all" if you don't have to deal with the 24x7, day to day of it all.
Like the jerk who was making a presenation on Long Term Health insurance at a government retirement program Hal and I attended shortly after his diagnosis but just before he "officially" retired. He made a remark about "becoming a vegetable and being forced to be housed in a nursing facility for years" causing family to go bankrupt. And he went on about the odds against finding a bed in a facility if forfed to use Medicaid. VEGETABLE!!!!! Hal had to hear that on an already stressful day. I wanted to kill him. As a matter of fact if I could remember his name, I would contact his spervisor now!
How often do we hear these kinds of remarks about AD as jokes in public situations? And how often might someone who actually has the disease be subjected to them.
You could substitue AD with black,deaf,Polish,blind,Hispanic,crippled,blond,redneck,old and the list goes on and on. I don't take these things seriously. They're funny or not depending on your perspective and everyone has a perspective. cs
i don't take these things seriously either but I was sitting next to my husband who had just been diagnosed with AD and I could FEEL the effect it had on him having his future described as being a VEGETABLE. In the couple times it has come up as a joke I could feel his body tense. Racist jokes make me pretty angry too though.
Divvi, YES I am feeling much better thank you. I can't remember whether I've posted something or just thought about it. But today was a big day. Had chest x-rays and I do NOT have lung cancer - Lying here in bed for so long I had started to fear that's what it was. With the way things have been going it just seemed that of course now that I'm no longer so depressed, I'll get a terminal illness. No, I'm not nuts. not entirely anyway. YIPPEEEE!!!!!! I had to call a few friends and tell them because when I told DH he said, "That's great," then he had a weird expression on his face. "Is something wrong?" I ask. "Yes," he says, "I can't get such and such on my computer to work. So much for his not having a dead caregiver. I was so nervous I stayed up all night and got to watch a little family of deer in the ravine behind our house slowly wake, stretch, catch a glimpse of me and scamper away. IT'S A GOOD DAY. (finally)
Oh, dr will still be doing more tests next week and had some blood work done today too, but my big fear at least has been put to rest. AND I have an appointment with elder care lawyer next week and will be making sure everything is in better order so if I get sick again sometime I can just worry about my health and not all these caregiving logistics.
terry, so glad you got what you needed to get some relief over that issue. Many people will delay seeing a dr. out of fear that their suspicions might be real. Glad you remain with us! Then, after you see your lawyer, next time you will just have to worry about getting well. That's a good thing. It is a good day. At last!
Terry, I'm so relieved that you are better, and hopefully you will continue to improve. Keep us posted! We have to take good care of ourselves so we can help our spouses and us!